Heidi Kim

The first sensation was warmth. A heavy, comforting warmth enveloped me, a stark contrast to the cool, detached shell I usually inhabited. It was a warmth that seeped into my bones, a feeling of security I rarely allowed myself to experience. The second was a scent, intoxicatingly familiar, yet subtly different. Lavender, definitely, but layered with something else, something distinctly Vina. A hint of sandalwood and her own unique musk clung to my senses.

Then, reality crashed down. I wasn’t in my meticulously ordered, sterile apartment. My eyes snapped open, the soft morning light filtering through unfamiliar curtains, forcing me to squint. The room was…lived in. Neatly arranged furniture, yes, but with a hint of comfortable chaos. A desk littered with books and papers, a half-empty coffee mug on the nightstand, and the faint, comforting hum of the air conditioner. It all screamed not my apartment. My heart began to pound a nervous rhythm against my ribs.

And then… I felt it.

An arm, heavy and possessive, draped across my waist, anchoring me to the present. My breath hitched in my throat. My pulse quickened. Slowly, almost dreading what I would find, I turned my head. Vina.

She was still asleep, her face relaxed and unguarded in the soft light. Her dark hair, usually so carefully styled, was a tousled halo around her head. Her lips were slightly parted, a soft breath escaping them, and her chest rose and fell in a slow, steady rhythm. And our legs… our legs were tangled together under the sheets.

The memories of the night before flooded back, a chaotic jumble of images and emotions. The bar, the electric tension between us, the drinks, the burning jealousy that had flared within me, the kiss… The kiss. The way I had pulled her closer, the way she had initially hesitated, a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, before finally giving in to the pull between us. The way we had… Oh my god. My stomach somersaulted, a mix of exhilaration and sheer panic. My face burned. I needed to get out of here. I needed to think. I needed to process what had happened, what it meant.

Carefully, agonizingly slowly, I tried to disentangle myself from her hold. Every movement was deliberate, my heart hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird. The sheets felt like silk against my skin, a luxurious contrast to the turmoil inside me. Just as I managed to shift slightly, the arm around my waist tightened, pulling me back against her. I froze, every muscle tense.

A groggy voice, laced with sleep, murmured from behind me. “Where do you think you’re going?” Damn it.

I swallowed hard, forcing a casualness I didn’t feel. “Uh… I should get going.”

Vina hummed, her voice still thick with sleep. “Why? The bed’s warm.” I bit my lip, ignoring the traitorous part of me that yearned to stay exactly where I was, wrapped in her warmth, enveloped in her scent.

She shifted behind me, and in one smooth movement, I was flat on my back, staring up at her. She propped herself up on one elbow, her sleepy eyes, now fully focused, locking onto mine. There was a hint of amusement in their depths, but also something else… something I couldn’t quite decipher.

“Regretting last night already?” she asked, her voice quieter now, a touch of vulnerability creeping in. I stiffened. Regret? The word echoed in my mind. I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell her that last night was something I had secretly craved for a long time. That I hadn’t been completely drunk, that my actions, my desires, had been deliberate. That I meant every touch, every whisper, every stolen moment.

But if I said that, if I admitted the truth, it would mean acknowledging the depth of my feelings for her. And that was terrifying. It would mean opening myself up, exposing my vulnerability, and risking… everything.

So, I forced a chuckle, a brittle sound that betrayed my inner turmoil. I shrugged, trying to project an air of nonchalance I was far from feeling. “Well… yeah. I mean, we were both drunk, right? It was a mistake.” The lie tasted like ash in my mouth.

Vina’s eyes narrowed slightly, the amusement replaced by something sharper, more perceptive. “A mistake?”

I nodded quickly, too quickly, even as my chest ached with a dull, unfamiliar pain. “Yeah. You know, just one of those things that happens after a night of drinking. No big deal.” No big deal. The phrase felt hollow, a pathetic attempt to minimize something that had shaken me to my core.

She was silent for a moment, her gaze intense, searching my face as if she were trying to see through my carefully constructed facade. Then, to my surprise, a slow, knowing smirk tugged at her lips.

“You’re lying.”

My stomach plummeted. “What?”

“You don’t regret it.” She was playing with me, I knew, but the stakes felt incredibly high.

I scoffed, looking away, desperate to avoid her piercing gaze. “What are you talking about? Of course, I—” But before I could finish the sentence, Vina launched her attack.

Her fingers, light as feathers but deadly accurate, found my sides, tickling me mercilessly.

I shrieked, my body jerking in surprise as I instinctively tried to push her away. “Vina! What the hell?!”

She grinned, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Not letting you go until you tell me the truth.”

I gasped between laughs, squirming beneath her, trying desperately to escape her ticklish assault. “I told you the truth—Vina, stop!”

“Not until you admit it,” she sang, her fingers now targeting my ribs, sending shivers of laughter and something else, something more intense, through me. I was dying. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, a mixture of laughter and frustration.

“Fine!” I finally gasped out, breathless, defeated. “Fine! I don’t regret it!” Her hands stilled.

I lay there, panting, my face flushed, my chest rising and falling rapidly. The truth hung in the air between us, finally spoken.

Vina leaned over me, her smirk softening into something more vulnerable, more intimate. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

I turned my head away, refusing to meet her gaze, still grappling with the implications of my admission. “Shut up.”

She chuckled softly, but I could feel her eyes on me, could feel the warmth of her body hovering just above mine, sending a fresh wave of awareness through me.

Then, in a quieter voice, a voice that held a hint of uncertainty, she asked, “So… Do you really regret what happened yesterday?”

My heart pounded in my chest. I had no idea how to answer that. Because the truth was, I didn’t know. All I knew was that the thought of last night being just a drunken mistake, a one-time thing, made my chest ache in a way I didn’t understand. And that scared me more than anything. It scared me because it meant that Vina, this woman who had stormed into my life and turned it upside down, had the power to break me.