Our relationship started during the seventh lunar month; exactly on Johann’s birthday. As well, we dined in a brasserie restaurant where we used to hang out during our college days. With a background of our favorite music, to a dazzling aroma, the stakes it all assumingly perfect.

That time, I couldn’t help but stare into his blazing gaze, at his smile, which were my comfort in place. As I fixed my eyes on his, he murmured something I could only apprehend.

“Dale, let me be your partner, where you can fly freely into my embrace. I’ll be your safe place where you can cry and laugh, despite your fallen grace.”

The romantic breeze of love surrounded us upon hearing that statement of his. My heart pounded with each beat, my soul gradually fell apart on his.

“Dale, my dear? Will you marry this man? Will you be with him for a lifetime?” he asked with a soft, silky voice. He removed himself from his seat and shifted to where I was.

He knelt beside me like a nobleman, whilst I was just here — completely in utter astonishment and disbelief. Being with him for a lifetime is an uncanny thing I can’t even imagine. We were merely friends back then. But today, as we celebrated his special day, he announced to the whole world what he was feeling towards me.

The breath he took was intensifying, before withdrawing a little box from his pocket. “Dale, with all my love, to the poor and the richer, will you marry me?”

As for being struck by that love, I didn’t hesitate to answer and said ‘yes’ to whom, without thinking of the consequences I would face in the future, I didn’t think this path would be a trap.

Dale thought being with Johann was an endless bond of love — yet, he didn’t reckon it was an endless yearning of pain, a vine with thorns that tied him for more than 13 years.

He thought that being with Johann by his side, everything would be all right — that the intoxicated life he had back then would vanish, but his presumption was wrong, and his decision was incorrect. It’s all wrecked, messy, and full of erroneous discretion.

“Why do I need to suffer like this?” he asked himself while eyeing the broken wedding frame that he had been treasuring since Johann got tired of him.

Every piece of his precious teardrop is like a hem of pain that led to this misery. “I’m not asking for much… I-I'm just asking for love, is that even hard to reciprocate?” he asked, clutching their wedding picture.

“Why did I fall for your sweet lies? How did I get deceived by your heavens… that turned out to be a hell of imprisonment? How did I become enamored by the young Johann I used to admire?”

August nineteen, two thousand eight, freshman college in the capital city of Beijing, I was a boy who was used to an admirable life in the city. With the dream I held in my hands, I have fallen for a graceful man named ‘Johann Schneider’.

Johann Schneider, the boy I used to admire during college, with a good demeanor, a smart, and handsome face. I never get tired of him despite being thin air in his sight. Every day, with his admirable appearance in my eyes, I couldn’t help but imagine my life with him.

“Mr. Muller, Mr. Muller!” the professor shouted out of the class. I immediately came back to my cognizance as I was called out. The embarrassment on my face was elevated throughout my body.

“Mr. Muller, stand up!” I acquiescently followed the order, “Why are you always not in your mind? You're always dismissing my teaching lesson in front,” the professor said.

Straight away, I made a reason, “I-I’m sorry, Sir, I’m just a bit skeptical about our topic, you know, confused,” I lied, trying to get out of the mess, “And a mere fact, Sir, it’s very untrue that I’m not minding your teaching, Sir.” I laugh awkwardly.

“Then what certain things are you skeptical of, Mr. Muller…? I might help with your question in mind,” the professor murmured upfront, “Would you mind, Mr. Muller, if you joined me in front?”

“Pardon me, Sir?” Sweat dripped down my face, as the overwhelming feeling plagues my chest, “Me in front?” I asked, pointing at myself, practically unbelieved by the professor's assertion.

The professor then again chirped as a response, “Yes, Mr. Muller, try to answer the question on this board — you said you’re skeptical about something, right?” The professor chattered, “Don’t worry, I will help you to answer the question.”

Shitty asshole! Did he really think I had a question in mind?

Without opposing the professor’s order, Dale then walked slowly in front, seeing his classmate’s reaction to his mistake, which he hadn’t successfully escaped, made him embarrassed to the finest.

The most shameful thing that ever happened in his life is this catastrophe, because this ignominy was witnessed by the one and only Johann Schneider, whom Dale used to look after.

Nevertheless, Dale was a bit happy despite being disgraced, because he was finally noticed by the boy he loved the most, but the notice made a wrong impression on the public, which he thought Johann also had the same feeling too.

“Okay, Mr. Muller, based on the equation above the board, how can you answer the question using an exponential function?” the professor asked, then handed me his marker.

My whole body practically froze on the spot as the question was asked. I couldn't do anything but peer at his observing gaze, because of being obviously clueless about the particular problem that needed to be solved.

Beyond that, how could I answer something I didn’t know, when the whole time my ogle was only on one thing — and that’s: Johann Schneider.

“Mr. Muller, not being an impertinent character, but would you mind if you get the marker now?” the professor scolded, as he tried to pass his marker to me.

“I’m truly sorry, sir, but I can’t really…” I was suddenly stopped in my words when someone fitful, between me and the professor, with his proper decorum and some sense of familiarity — I know that tenor voice.

Both the professor and I diverted our eyes to him, similar to the whole class's rapid reaction.

“Excuse me, sir. Would you mind if I help Mr. Muller?” he enunciated out of the class. He stood up from his seat with confidence in himself. “Sir, please let me help Mr. Muller solve that problem,” he declared, then smiled brightly, not at the professor nor to the class, but to me.

For the first time in Dale's life, he felt butterflies flutter in his stomach, notwithstanding being trapped in a false scene he had created with his own imagination.

Am I dreaming? He questions himself instantaneously, Am I dreaming once again? He asked again, as if he were a delusional, emotionally unstable fool at the corner.

“Why, Mr. Schneider? Why do you want to help Mr. Muller?” The professor was puzzled, with the confusion lingering around his head, he deliberately questioned Johann, “What made you decide to help Mr. Muller?”

The whole class was also intrigued by the question, same like me, being perplexed and waiting for his answer, “I-I just want to help some acquaintance, sir,” he said.

With that, I looked down and deceitfully smiled and murmured something to the air. Yeah, just an acquaintance — just an acquaintance and nothing more.