I was sitting down on the floor of my living room, thoughts spiraling out of control. I was still shaken up about my panic attack because it's the first time it happened. I didn't even want to think about why I had it in the first place.

I can get ridiculous because I don't have my meds, and I need my fix so bad right now. Without them I'm so messed up. When medicated, the pain I was feeling disappeared. The pain of loneliness, the pain of not feeling good enough. They all disappeared when I medicated. Now I don't even know what to do. Living without them the past week was fine, but now it's like I had an itch that needed to be scratched. I needed my anti-depressants. I needed them so bad.

I felt a tear trail down my cheek, but quickly wiped it away with the sleeve of my oversized t-shirt. Oh God, I'm such a weakling! I sniffed and laughed humorlessly. This is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous!

Shelly had left, leaving a letter of apology for the things she said to me. She said she didn't mean them. The truth is, what she said was completely and utterly the honest truth. I am a coward that runs away from their problems. I'm a fucking coward that is weak and pathetic.

I was absorbed in my thoughts, everything going on around me numb. I still couldn't believe that Chance spread the rumor that I tried to commit suicide. Rumors spread like a wild fire. People who didn't know I existed at work knew who I was. Everywhere I went, they stared. Some gave me nasty looks and some sneered. The worst ones were the ones who looked at me with pity overflowing in their eyes. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand them. Everything started getting uncomfortable that I left during my lunch and never returned. I haven't eaten since breakfast. The rumble of my stomach kept on reminding me that, but the desire to eat never surfaced.

I was staring at my phone, contemplating whether I should call Shelly or not. I wanted to apologize for my unruly behavior. I admit that I was wrong. But where will I start? What will I say?

I chewed on the chapped skin on my bottom lip, picking up the phone. Before I could dial her number, the screen turned on, flashing an unknown number, the ringtone filling the silent room. I let it go off for a while, then answered.

"Uhmm... hello?" I spoke, uncertainty filling my voice.

"Hey, Jay-Jay my man! How are you today on this eventful Tuesday?"

I was baffled beyond reason. Who was this man?

"I'm sorry, but it must be a wrong number," I replied, clearing my throat to get rid of the grogginess.

"No, no, no! I'm Jack. Remember? The bartender that served you last night?" he said, his voice high-pitched.

"Jack? Jack Frost?" I asked for clarity. I remembered him all too well. He was laughing, the sound piercing my ears that I pulled the phone away from my ear.

"I'm not Frost! I told you last night," He was still chuckling, the sound like a soft melody now that he wasn’t laughing like a hyena.

I rolled my eyes as if he could see me. My mouth was hurting from all the smiling I was doing. I didn't even know that I could smile so much over nothing at all. I placed a hand over my mouth to refrain from smiling too much.

"And where did you get my phone numbers?" I asked, standing up from the floor and making my way to the kitchen before I could starve to death.

"You don't remember? You gave them to me last night when I dropped you off at your apartment. You gotta a cool sister by the way, but still strict as hell," he commented, making me momentarily stop walking. I've been wondering how I got home last night. So it was him that brought me back? Why didn't Shelly say anything about that?

"Are you still there, Jay?"

I snapped out of whatever trance I was in and nodded my head as if he could see me. I realized my mistake and replied, "Yeah, I'm still here."

I opened the fridge and took out bottled water, placing it on the kitchen island.

"Are you at work?" he asked me. I replied no and put the phone on speaker, placing it on the island.

"Where are you?"

"At home. Not to be rude or anything, but why did you call me?" I hoped that didn't sound savage or anything because the last thing I needed was to offend yet another person.

"Oh, yeah! I just wanted to ask if you were free this Friday, you know?" he said, his voice lowering a bit at the end.

Thinking about it, I had nothing to do and going out beat sitting alone in my apartment. I shrugged and replied, "No."

"Awesome! There's this new restaurant that's opening up. How about we try it out?"

"Okay. What time?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll send you all the details. So, I'll see you on Friday?"

"Okay. Bye, Jack Frost."

"Bye, Jason!" He hung up. I could still feel the grin that was stretching my mouth. Shaking my head, I made myself a cheese sandwich and sat down, eating it then downing it with the water.

I still needed my medication even though my mood had lifted a bit, so I ate as quickly as I could and changed my clothes to something casual. Checking the time on my phone, I saw that it was nearing six in the evening. If I hurry up, I could make it in time to the chemist before they close up. I can't spend another day without sleeping peacefully. I just can't, especially with the rumor that Chance spread.

I put on my jacket and grabbed all that I needed, then walked out of my apartment, not forgetting to lock up. The moment I made it to my car, I didn't waste any more time and drove out of the parking lot.

It took me thirty minutes to reach my destination. They were closing up at seven and I needed to hurry up. I got out of my car and locked it. I walked down the lit path into the building that was lit with neon lights, the name 'Medi Chemist' flashing vibrantly on the top of the building.

I opened the glass door and entered, my eyes automatically going to Zachary, the guy behind the counter. He smiled when he saw me and straightened up.

"Hello, Mr. Jones. Here for another..."

I laughed, nodding my head. I took out my wallet and pulled out my credit card. He went through the door behind him and later came back with a brown paper bag. I swiped and put my card back into the wallet.

"Thanks, Zachary. You are honestly a life saver," I said, shaking his hand that was incredibly soft to touch. Mine were calloused and rough, even though I was not doing any hard labor.

"No problem, Mr. Jones. It was nice doing business with you."

I gave him the money that I had on me, the notes crumbled. I didn’t have a letter from the doctor for prescription, so Zachary organized a system that we could both benefit from.

I turned around to leave, with a satisfied feeling in my chest. I heaved a sigh when I left the shop and headed to my car. I was relieved that I was going to sleep peacefully again. I didn’t want to stay up late with the thoughts of Chance’s betrayal. I would surely have another panic attack.

I stopped when I saw a silhouette of a person standing next to my car. The physique was somehow familiar. Is that... Is that who I think it is?

I speed walked to my car, adrenalin seeming to fuel me like a petrol to a car. That rat! He once told me that some people are rats and they are after the cheese. Well, he's a rat and he's got the cheese, hence he's making people like me miserable.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I yelled, my voice echoing, the wind carrying it to his ears.

When I finally reached my car and was up close, I studied him. He was gripping his jacket tightly around his body, pacing about, but stopped when he heard my voice. He was fidgeting, a mixture of nervousness and indecisiveness. His eyes swelled to the size of a soccer ball when he saw me. He raised his arms up high, saying, "Woah, woah! I'm not here to fight, Jason. I just came to apologize."

To apologize my foot! If he was sorry, he wouldn't have spread lies about me! If he was sorry, he would've visited me when I needed a friend the most! He abandoned and betrayed me!

"You want to apologize? Do you hear yourself right now?" I spoke through gritted teeth, raw anger bubbling up, ready to explode like a volcano.

His face scrunched up, then softened. I tightened my grip on the paper bag, the weight of it seeming to let itself known that I needed to take them like always, at the exact time. I can't do that when I'm busy breathing fire on Chance. I breathed in and out to control my emotions.

You know what, I don't care. Why should I care that he wanted to apologize? That he spread lies about me? I don't care.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the things I said at the hospital. Jason, I was just worried and concerned about your wellbeing. I was scared that you wanted to leave this world behind, that you wanted to leave your family behind. I was scared that you wanted to leave me behind," he said.

I almost didn't catch the last words he said because they were above a whisper. I was stunned. I stood there, astonished. What?

"And I am really sorry, Jason. All the things that I said and done, please forgive me. I was hurting. I didn't want to lose you," he said, yet again shocking me.

Getting over my shock, I blinked, then went to open the car door and toss the bag onto the passenger seat. I closed the door and leaned against it, crossing my arms over my chest. He stared at me, waiting for me to say something.

"What do you want me to say, Chance?" I asked him, the storm inside me simmering down.

He was staring at me as if he was contemplating doing something. His brows would furrow, then go back to normal. His face would scrunch up like he had swallowed a bitter pill. I could see the light reflected on his face as he faced me. I raised a brow at his odd behavior.

"Aren't you going to say anything about you telling people that I tried to commit suicide?" I asked, calm and collected. I didn't know how I stayed calm when it came to this issue. Maybe it's because I couldn't bear to yell at him when he was looking at me like that, or the fact that maybe I jumped to conclusions too early.

"That's not true, Jason. I didn't spread those rumors. That's why I came to you in the first place... and obviously to apologize. Your PA heard me talking on the phone with my father. I didn't say you tried to commit suicide. I told him that I thought you tried to commit suicide. Trust me when I say I didn't do that. I would never."

I heaved a sigh, running a hand down my face. The funny thing about this ordeal was that I believed him. I believed him like the fool I was. I'm such a... I'm so vulnerable when it comes to people I know and care about.

"I believe you, Chance. I believe you," I didn't know whether that was to reassure myself that I believed him or not. Chanting it won't make it truer than it is. I prayed to God that he was not lying to me. If he was lying, that would be the end of me. I would drop down with a heart attack.

"Would you... would you punch me if I did something really stupid right now?" he asked, stepping closer to me. His eyes had darkened, full of an emotion that I knew too well.

"What are you talking about? What are you-" I didn't get to finish my sentence when he pushed me against my car and smashed his lips against mine, leaving me completely breathless.