I sob into Aki’s clothes, my face buried in his neck. This isn’t something I thought I’d ever do with anyone. I thought I’d conquered loneliness when I left that damned place. I thought I was better than this. 

His hand cradles my head, and I hear quiet sobs from him as well. I lean against him heavily, my arms tight around his neck. He’s warm, and it’s comfortable. I allow myself some self-pity as I realize that I haven’t been hugged in at least a year. 

“Aki…” My voice is quiet against his skin, muffled. 

He pulls back to look at my face. “...yes?” There are black streaks down his face from his eyeliner. I’m sure we both look miserable.

“...what are we supposed to do now…? I have a fucking job…” I hiccup. I don’t know if he’ll understand what I mean. I don’t want to leave him alone again.

“...I meant what I said earlier.” He says after a moment, lifting his hands to brush my hair away from my tear-streaked face. “Join the circus.” 

I pause. “You can’t be serious. Do I look like I belong in a circus?”

“Not right now. But you will. I saw how lucky you were out there. That’s an act in itself. Come be our Lady Luck. I promise everything will be okay…”

That’s all I ever needed to hear, but I can’t tell if it’s even true. “...Even if that’s the case… how would you know that?”

“...Because you’re finally here. Isn’t it obvious?” He smiles. “I’m already feeling so much better.” The obvious running of his makeup contradicts his words, but I believe him. I feel like a weight has been lifted as well… 

“You’re scary as fuck, you know…?” I relax once more, resting my head on his shoulder again. We’re practically laying on the loveseat now, wrapped up in each other. When did we get so close? I’ve never really let anyone this close to me, and now I’m cuddling with someone whose name I only learned moments earlier. But it’s different with Aki. He’s been there for me longer than I can remember, in his own way. And I’ve been there for him. I never thought about it like that until today, but now it’s obvious how much we’ve needed each other over the years. 

I don’t know how much time passes before I’m awoken from a slumber I didn’t know I drifted into. 

“So this is her?” The voice of the ringmaster, now more casual. 

Aki seems to be sleepier than I am, only grumbling in response. I sit up and blink at the ringmaster. He’s wearing casual clothes, but still strikingly eye-catching. 

“He’s spoken about you a lot, you know.” The ringmaster takes a seat on the single other chair in the room, looking over the two of us. “I’m Gani. You are? Other than laying on my coworker, I mean.” He muses. His personality seems to be more like his stage persona than Aki’s.

I debate whether to give him my family name or my given name, but I decide on the latter since he seems to be close with Aki. “...I’m Haruka.”

“I see. I’m assuming he’s already extended an invitation? If not, I’d be happy to as well. We’re always looking for strange people.”

I’m trying to decide if I should be offended when Aki finally speaks up, reminding me that I’m still laying on top of him. 

“That’s a little rude, Mirra.” Aki sits up, not trying to move me from my spot.

“Mirra?” I echo. I thought his name was Gani. 

“That’s not his name,” Aki begins. “But we call him that because of his stage name. “The Mirror”.” He smooths wrinkles from my clothes as he speaks, apparently having an easier time adjusting to being close with me than I am with him. “We used to just call him Mirror, but we got lazy after a while.”

“...stage name? Does that mean you also have one?” I ask, curious to how the circus works.

“Sure.” He looks up at my face again. “I’m the Second Joker.”

I blink at him. “...like the cards?” I don’t mention the irony of the card-picking situation from the performance.

“Just like the cards. Do you want a card-related name, too?” He leans back again, seemingly completely comfortable with me sitting on his legs. I’m not exactly of the same opinion, so I scoot over to sit on the cushion beside him instead. 

“...why am I getting a name?”

“You are joining, are you not?” Gani speaks up again. “It would be quite a shame to lose… whatever you two have going on here just because you think you aren’t fit for a circus. Unless I’m misreading the situation?” He smirks, and his expression implies he knows exactly what he’s talking about. 

“...I have a job.”

“Yes, well. We all go missing at some point, do we not?” Gani muses. He really is just like his stage persona.

“Do we, though…?” I’m not exactly sure how I feel about this aloof person. 

“Mirra, you’re scaring her off.”

“I’m not the one getting all cozy with the newbie.” Gani raises an eyebrow. 

“Give me some time to think about it?” I cut in. “I need to know exactly what I’m getting into here…”

“Of course.” They both agree unanimously, apparently sharing an opinion this time. I wonder how often that happens. 

“So? Any questions…?” Aki asks, obviously fighting the urge to get closer again.

I think about it. “Why do you have the stage names? Do they mean anything?”

“Sure they do,” Gani answers before Aki can. “We choose them with the help of the other members. It’s so the audience has something to call us. And so that they remember. Well- remember better. The meanings… well, for example, mine is “The Mirror” because people say my stage act and real personality must be like looking in a mirror. It’s only worded differently to sound mysterious and whatnot.”

I’m curious now. “And… “Second Joker”?” 

“Because I’m “rare”, supposedly. Only the lucky ones see someone like me twice,” Aki explains.

There’s a significant pause.

“...okay. And, hypothetically, if I were to join… what would mine be?” I tilt my head. I feel a little silly that I’m even considering this, but simple consideration wouldn’t hurt… it’s not like I’ll actually join a circus.

“Well, that depends on what your persona is. Are you good at anything that one would expect to see at a circus?” Gani asks, as if the answer could possibly be yes.

“Um… like what?” I furrow my brows. “I’ve only ever been to this one.”

“Something like contortionism? But we could use you for anything, really. Anyone can learn to throw cards or juggle. But even if you can’t learn things like that, audiences like a pretty face. You could probably just stand there and they’d love you.” Gani shrugs. 

“...thanks…?” I’m not sure how to feel about that. Is everyone at this circus an expert at making someone feel like they already belong there? It seems like Aki and Gani have secured my place in this circus before I’ve even responded to the invitation. 

“Anyway, did you come with anyone last night that would need to know your whereabouts now?” Gani asks, already seeming to lose interest in the conversation. 

“Last night? What time is it?” I’m slightly stunned. Did Aki and I sleep through the night here?

“About noon.”

Aki doesn’t seem bothered by this, but I definitely am. It’s now incredibly apparent to me again that I’m only in town because I’m on a business trip. And I just spent the night at a circus.