The end of the school year had arrived.

The facade displayed a huge banner commemorating the day. The hallways were beautifully decorated, especially the auditorium that faced the main garden where a small stage had been set up so the seniors could take photos with a special backdrop.

Leo was looking at the auditorium. After the diploma ceremony, most had gone to the garden—the dark-haired boy had stayed there alone, enjoying the silence in that place. They had invested so much time in preparing for that end-of-year event, and it had passed so quickly. He wasn't a person who formed bonds with physical places, however he would miss the facilities. It was a relatively old building, and Leo enjoyed everything the rest criticized: the endless hallways, the high ceilings, the paintings, and the luxuriously finished wooden floors. That particular day, the entire institute seemed to possess a special glow, as the girls had worn special dresses for the occasion and all the boys were in suits. In that auditorium, the young man observed with satisfaction and certain sadness the portraits of the 3 award-winning students. Naturally, the first was him for being the second in the institution's history to maintain the best GPA in school for five consecutive years, as well as being one of the first to be awarded the Junior Supervisor title. He had also contributed to the school's reputation with the multiple competitions he had won in various disciplines.

He carried under his arm an enormous leather folder lined with all the certificates he had accumulated as well as several references to accompany his résumé, something the management team had prepared with special attention.

If it was really confirmed that his subgender was beta, he could aspire to a position as state judge, or other professions related to the legal field. These were positions of great prestige and excellent pay. They were highly demanding careers, although in his case, that simply motivated him more. If, on the contrary, he turned out to be alpha, he had the fields of politics and business left. Possibly the latter—politics didn't really go with his style, which tended to be more practical. There was also the medical field where all subgenders could perform successfully, however, even in that sector there was a majority of betas. As an alpha, unfortunately, he wouldn't have access to almost any prestigious position in justice—they were reserved for betas to ensure processes and decisions free from possible coercion. Honestly, the latter, despite having problems regarding forming couples and families, had the most privileged positions available in the professional field.

The commotion in the garden had become loud enough to pull him from his thoughts. He directed his gaze outside and saw through the large windows the group of classmates having fun throwing drinks at each other. His eyes inevitably fixed on Jared.

He felt his pulse accelerate and weakness in his legs. He saw him laughing with the navy blue suit blazer open, wearing the light blue shirt slightly open and wet from the game they were playing. His hair was tousled, and his cheeks flushed while he laughed. Without thinking too much, he looked for his phone, focused it, and took a photo from the distance. He quickly put away his phone. For a few brief seconds, he remembered him beneath his body, with damp hair, dark eyes from the rut, and the bleeding shoulder being completely his.

"Even if it was just for a few hours, he was only mine. I should hold onto that," he thought.

He felt very sad again. Since the night they had spent together, he had realized that the love he felt had deepened. He hadn't counted on the fact that going from platonic to physical could affect him so much. Many times he looked at him during the day and thought, mistakenly, "he's mine." He wasn't—he never really was his, and he had to thank Clara for the fortuitous encounter. Without her pheromone bath, it wouldn't have been possible.

Some footsteps behind him startled him. In the empty auditorium, a figure he knew too well was approaching. It seemed he had summoned her by remembering that scene. She had her hair up in an exquisite hairstyle and her head was decorated with a tiara worthy of royalty.

Clara stopped a few steps away and smiled at him with such a sweet expression that for a moment he felt an immense existential emptiness.

"I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye." She looked over Leo's shoulder, and he suddenly felt naked before her. "Jared isn't a bad guy, but he doesn't deserve for you to look at him with those eyes."

Leo lowered his gaze. He realized he had needed someone to talk to about everything that was happening to him for a long time. He wasn't going to do it, but he was grateful that his love wasn't invisible.

In a low voice, he responded:

"I wish it were so easy to stop feeling what I feel."

Someone called Clara. Leo directed his gaze there—at the auditorium entrance, a young woman in a black suit, hair the same color and honey-colored eyes, called her. There was no need to ask who she was—her presence was clearly alpha.

Clara's face lit up and her cheeks blushed slightly.

"I have to go." She let out an innocent giggle. Leo was surprised to see how people could behave when in love. "In the end, you won't need to go to the party."

She turned and left the auditorium.

Leo hated himself for feeling the envy he felt at that moment.

He took out his phone and looked at the photos he had taken—maybe he should delete them. He scrolled through them slowly but couldn't do it. He put his phone away again and headed out to the garden. Jared called him loudly and before he could even respond, he felt him on top of him. He had the habit of wanting to climb on his back.

"Ouch Jared, enough already!"

He heard screams and saw that North was climbing on another classmate's back. He muttered something under his breath and signaled Jared to get on. Leo found it somewhat worth seeing—two men over six feet tall playing piggyback, but Jared's expression of happiness made it worthwhile. Sometimes it seemed to him that he was like a small child—he had the same innocence when he wasn't in alpha mode.

Clearly in the battle they won against all opponents, ending up all sprawled on the grass, sweaty. North was the first to get up—they began arguing about points. Leo could only think that Jared still had his arm hooked around his waist, and before the situation became too alarming, he broke free with the excuse of getting water. When he returned with the water bottle, Jared dragged him to the corner where they took photos and asked North to take one of them. He put his arm around his shoulders and as usual, pressed his face to his. Leo was so uncomfortable that he started laughing nervously. Both looked at him surprised—Leo was usually extremely serious.

He felt exposed and judged.

"It's the last day, can't I laugh?"

Both Jared and North made fun of him until finally it was time to say goodbye—it was late.

"Want to go eat something?" North proposed.

Leo shook his head.

"I can't. I arranged with my family to go out to eat. They insisted on celebrating."

Jared looked at him with a curious expression.

"What are you going to do now that you have nothing to study?"

Leo responded seriously:

"What do you mean nothing? I'm preparing for freshman year of college. It's better to get ahead with material."

Both looked at him, perplexed.

Leo was exaggerating—it was true he had material, although he didn't plan to read it all during summer break, he wasn't crazy either. But he didn't want them contacting him for outings Wednesday through Sunday, because he knew very well how both of them were.

He said goodbye quickly, and he hadn't even gone 200 meters when in their group chat, they had already started planning the next outing. Leo shook his head, resigned.

The truth was he wanted to try to put some distance between the alpha and himself. Besides, he also had other concerns he hadn't talked about with anyone except his mom, like some health issues. 

#

A week later, he was at the endocrinologist specialist's office.

He had been arduously searching for a private specialist to be able to have an extensive consultation. His mother had agreed.

He had heard a lot about the specialist he was about to meet—she was a doctor who was conducting some important and innovative studies on pheromones, and in his particular case, both he and his family agreed that nothing had helped them, and going 18 years with an unclear diagnosis and without knowing his subgender was authentic madness. His mother had insisted on accompanying him, but Leo had refused—he preferred to talk alone, mainly because he also had other important questions. He also hadn't given her specific information about the hospital—he was terribly jealous of his privacy, and his mother, who had become somewhat overprotective since his father's death, could be a bit invasive when she worried about her son's health.

Prior to the consultation, they had drawn his blood and performed an MRI. He couldn't explain it in words, but he knew his body was changing and was sure they could finally tell him what his subgender would be. He was anxious to know the results.

When they called his name in that hostile hallway, he felt his heart jumping out of his mouth.

The doctor let him in. She was a woman who looked quite young for the long history of specializations she boasted, however when speaking, it was clear that this was her field of specialization.

She looked at him from behind the desk—she had a severe gaze.

"I suppose, Mr. Candem, that you want to know your subgender, and I'm going to have to disappoint you because based on your clinical history, blood values, and the MRI, I can't affirm with certainty that you're beta, although the possibilities are really high. Your pheromone level is relatively low, although if we compare the values from this blood study with the one from 2 years ago, there was a slight modification. The pheromones, though few, are stronger. Have you had any type of encounter with a dominant alpha?"

Leo blushed, nodding.

"Ultra-dominant."

"That's strange. And were you able to have intercourse with the alpha? In a typical case, ultra-dominant pheromones can be toxic for a beta, potentially causing nausea, dizziness, headaches, and even loss of consciousness."

Leo nodded.

"That's exactly how I felt. Although..." He covered his face with both hands. "It improved after I... bit him."

The doctor looked at him surprised and smiled.

"You don't need to be embarrassed—your survival instinct saved you in that situation." She drew a circle on paper with arrows moving around it. "By causing a wound, the alpha's system resets for a few moments. Ultra-dominants have a recovery capacity up to three times faster than a common alpha. Therefore, the system resets to stop the bleeding, and that way the pheromones stabilize. It's a method often taught to omegas."

Leo remembered at that moment the compass attack. It was something he was hearing for the first time. Indeed, Clara's class representative was omega.

The doctor continued:

"Although it seems like an infallible method and even almost innocuous for ultra-dominant alphas, they usually have conflicts analyzing a true risk situation, and some suffer fatal wounds they dismiss until it's too late."

Leo asked timidly:

"What are the most effective and least dangerous areas?"

The doctor answered:

"Shoulders, back of the arm, and the thigh." The doctor observed him for a few seconds, turned, opened a desk drawer and took out a cream that she handed him with a smile. When Leo grabbed it, his face turned violently red.

"This cream is excellent—you don't need to be embarrassed. Betas don't have the lubrication that omegas do. This cream functions as both lubricant and anesthetic. Still, I do NOT recommend having relations with an ultra-dominant alpha. If you're unlucky enough for the alpha to go into a trance and want to knot you, you could suffer serious internal injuries."

Leo looked at her confused and terrified at the same time.

The doctor opened his MRI and showed him the upper pelvic area.

"Look, Mr. Candem, if this were an omega's MRI, in this area you could see a uterus. In a recessive omega, despite having a considerably smaller size, it would still be visible in the same area. There's nothing here, which is why we've been able to rule out the omega subgender."

The doctor continued with the explanation while Leo took mental note of every detail:

"In what's known as 'knotting,' the alpha's reproductive member forces its way to that area. To access the uterus during mating, it must open the cervix—that's the opening all omegas perceive as highly painful, even despite the pheromone trance. The alpha's body detects when the cervix opens to be able to ejaculate in the uterus and ensure impregnation." She paused briefly to look at him. "In a beta or even an alpha where there's neither uterus nor cervix, the alpha's body can cause internal tearing while trying to reach a non-existent uterus. If you find yourself in a knotting situation, I recommend biting the alpha on the front part of the arm—it's highly dangerous and won't be a pleasant sight due to the amount of bleeding, but it will be the only way to interrupt that process."

Leo nodded, somewhat more at ease. He also had no plans to spend another rut with Jared, however, the information was necessary. The knotting thing had scared him a lot.

At that moment he remembered something and took out his phone again to show a photo of the medication he had been taking for several years.

The doctor observed it with interest.

"Yes, you can continue taking it. Although for you specifically, I would advise joining our new treatment. It's a new medicine that combines the herbal complex usually used in suppressors with enzymes that accelerate the elimination of pheromones that glands produce erratically, as would be your case. This treatment would be of great help in defining the subgender."

Leo nodded.

The doctor smiled at him. She gave him instructions to pick up the new treatment package at reception. There were some details he had to complete, but considering his situation, she wanted to resolve it as soon as possible, if possible before starting university. He would have to inform his mother about the new treatment, but perhaps they had finally found the solution.

cont - part two -