The end of the school year had arrived.

A massive banner hung across the facade, marking the occasion. The hallways were beautifully decorated, the auditorium especially, which faced the main garden where a small stage had been set up so the seniors could take photos against a special backdrop.

Leo stood alone in the auditorium.

After the diploma ceremony, most people had spilled out into the garden. He'd stayed behind, letting the silence settle around him. They'd put so much into preparing for this day, and it had gone by in a blink. He wasn't someone who attached himself to places but he'd miss this building. It was relatively old, and Leo had always liked exactly the things everyone else complained about: the endless hallways, the high ceilings, the paintings, the wooden floors finished with a kind of quiet luxury. That day the whole institute seemed lit from within — the girls in special dresses, the boys in suits, everything carrying a weight it didn't usually have.

He looked at the three portraits on the auditorium wall, the award-winning students. His was first. Five consecutive years at the top GPA in the school's history, only the second student ever to do it. Junior Supervisor. Multiple competition wins across different disciplines. He looked at it with a quiet mix of satisfaction and sadness.

Under his arm he carried an enormous leather folder containing every certificate he'd accumulated, plus several references the management team had put together with particular care to accompany his résumé.

If his subgender turned out to be beta, he could aim for state judge, or something else in the legal field. Prestigious, demanding, well-paid, which, in his case, was motivation rather than deterrent. If alpha, politics or business. Probably business, politics didn't suit him. Too impractical. Medicine was open to all subgenders, though betas dominated that sector too. As an alpha, the doors to most prestigious positions in justice would be closed, those were reserved for betas specifically, to keep processes free from potential coercion. Frustrating, but logical. Betas had it harder in relationships and family, but the professional world bent toward them.

The noise from the garden pulled him back. Through the large windows he could see his classmates throwing drinks at each other, laughing. His eyes found Jared without trying.

His pulse jumped. Legs went slightly unsteady.

The navy blazer open. The light blue shirt, slightly undone, damp from whatever game they were playing. Hair disheveled, cheeks flushed, laughing at something. Leo reached for his phone before he'd made a conscious decision to do it, focused the camera, and took the photo. Pocketed his phone quickly.

For a few seconds, the memory surfaced. Jared beneath him. Damp hair. Eyes dark from the rut. The bleeding shoulder, entirely his.

Even if it was just for a few hours, he was only mine. I should hold onto that.

The sadness came back, heavy and familiar. Since that night, he'd realized the love hadn't faded, butdeepened. He hadn't accounted for what crossing from platonic to physical would do to him. He looked at Jared during the day sometimes and thought, without meaning to, he's mine. He wasn't. He never really had been. And Leo had Clara to thank for the only night he'd ever get, without her pheromone bath, it wouldn't have happened at all.

Footsteps behind him.

In the empty auditorium, a figure he recognized too well was approaching. It was as if thinking about her had summoned her. Hair up in an elaborate style, a tiara that wouldn't have looked out of place on royalty.

Clara stopped a few steps away and smiled at him, something so genuinely warm that Leo felt a hollow open somewhere in his chest.

"I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye." Her eyes moved past his shoulder for a moment, and suddenly he felt completely transparent. "Jared isn't a bad person. But he doesn't deserve to be looked at the way you look at him."

Leo dropped his gaze. He realized, in that moment, how long he'd needed someone to say something — anything — about what was happening inside him. He wasn't going to say more. But he was grateful his love hadn't been invisible.

"I wish it were that easy," he said quietly. "To stop feeling what I feel."

Someone called Clara's name. Leo looked toward the auditorium entrance, a young woman in a black suit, hair the same dark color, honey-colored eyes. No need to ask. Her presence said alpha before anything else.

Clara's face changed completely. Her cheeks flushed.

"I have to go." A small, almost shy laugh escaped her. Leo was briefly startled, people really did become different when they were in love. "Looks like you won't need to come to the party after all."

She turned and walked out.

Leo hated himself for the envy he felt watching her go.

He took out his phone and scrolled through the photos he'd taken. He should delete them. He scrolled slowly. Couldn't do it. Pocketed it again and headed out to the garden.

Jared spotted him immediately and called his name across the crowd. Before Leo could even respond, he felt him, climbing onto his back as if that were a completely normal thing to do.

"Jared, enough—"

Screams from somewhere to his left. North was doing the same thing to another classmate. Leo muttered under his breath and gave in, signaling Jared to get on properly. There was something almost worth seeing about it, two men over six feet tall playing piggyback but Jared's expression made it hard to complain. He looked like a kid. That was the thing about him when he wasn't in alpha mode, he had the same uncomplicated happiness as a child.

They won every round. Ended up sprawled on the grass, sweaty and laughing. North was the first up, already arguing about points. Leo's only thought was that Jared still had his arm hooked around his waist and before that became a problem, he broke free with the excuse of getting water.

When he came back with the bottle, Jared pulled him toward the photo corner and handed North his phone. He slung his arm around Leo's shoulders and pressed his face against his the way he always did.

Leo was so uncomfortable he started laughing. Nervously. Uncontrollably.

Both of them stared at him.

"It's the last day. Can't I laugh?"

They made fun of him for it until it was finally time to go.

"Want to get something to eat?" North offered.

Leo shook his head.

"Can't. My family made plans, they insisted on celebrating."

Jared tilted his head.

"What are you going to do now that you have nothing to study?"

"What do you mean nothing? I'm getting ahead on first-year university material. Better to start early."

They both stared at him.

Leo was exaggerating, he did have material, but he wasn't going to spend all summer reading it. He wasn't insane. But he also wasn't about to spend Wednesday through Sunday fielding invitations from these two.

He said goodbye quickly. He hadn't even made it two hundred meters when the group chat already had three messages planning the next outing.

He shook his head and kept walking.

The truth was he needed distance. From Jared, mostly. And there was something else sitting in the back of his mind, a health concern he hadn't mentioned to anyone except his mother.

 

#

 

A week later, he was sitting in a specialist's waiting room.

He'd spent weeks searching for the right private endocrinologist, someone who could give him a real, thorough consultation. His mother had agreed to the appointment. He'd heard a lot about this particular doctor, she was conducting innovative research on pheromones, and in his case, after eighteen years of unclear diagnoses and no confirmed subgender, something had to give. His mother had wanted to come. He'd refused. He had questions he needed to ask alone, and he was fiercely private about his health, his mother had grown overprotective since his father's death, and her worry had a way of becoming invasive.

Before the consultation they'd drawn blood and run an MRI. He couldn't explain it exactly, but he knew his body was changing. He was certain they'd finally be able to tell him something.

When they called his name in that sterile hallway, his heart tried to climb out of his chest.

The doctor was younger-looking than her credentials suggested. When she spoke, though, it was immediately clear this was exactly her field.

She looked at him across the desk with a direct, measured gaze.

"I suppose you want to know your subgender, Mr. Candem. And I'm going to have to disappoint you. Based on your clinical history, blood work, and MRI, I can't confirm with certainty that you're beta, though the probability is high. Your pheromone levels are relatively low, however comparing these results with bloodwork from two years ago, there's been a slight change. The pheromones are fewer but stronger." She paused. "Have you had any contact with a dominant alpha?"

Leo flushed.

"Ultra-dominant."

"That's unusual. Were you able to have intercourse with the alpha? In a typical case, ultra-dominant pheromones are toxic to a beta — nausea, dizziness, headaches, loss of consciousness."

"That's exactly what happened." He covered his face with both hands. "It got better after I… bit him."

The doctor looked at him, surprised then smiled.

"You don't need to be embarrassed. Your survival instinct did exactly what it needed to." She drew a circle on paper, arrows moving around it. "When you cause a wound, the alpha's system resets briefly to stop the bleeding, which temporarily stabilizes the pheromones. Ultra-dominants recover up to three times faster than a common alpha, but the reset still happens. It's a method omegas are often taught."

Leo thought of the compass. Of Clara's class representative. He was hearing this for the first time but it clicked.

"Though it appears infallible," the doctor continued, "ultra-dominant alphas often have difficulty accurately assessing a genuine threat. Some sustain serious wounds they dismiss until it's too late."

"What are the safest areas to bite?" he asked carefully.

"The shoulder, the back of the arm, the thigh." She held his gaze for a moment, then turned, opened a desk drawer, and placed a small cream on the desk between them.

Leo's face went immediately, completely red.

"This is an excellent product, no need for embarrassment. Betas don't have the natural lubrication omegas do. This functions as both lubricant and anesthetic." She kept her tone clinical. "That said, I strongly advise against sexual contact with an ultra-dominant alpha. If the alpha enters a trance and attempts to knot, you could sustain serious internal injuries."

Leo stared at her.

She opened the MRI and turned it toward him, pointing to the upper pelvic area.

"In an omega's scan, you'd see a uterus here. In a recessive omega it would be smaller, but still visible. There's nothing here which is how we've ruled out the omega subgender."

She continued, and Leo filed every word away carefully.

"During knotting, the alpha's body attempts to reach that area — forcing through the cervix to ejaculate directly into the uterus and ensure impregnation. Even for omegas, that moment is perceived as intensely painful, regardless of the pheromone trance. In a beta or alpha, where neither uterus nor cervix exists, the alpha's body can cause internal tearing in the attempt." A brief pause. "If you find yourself in a knotting situation, biting the alpha on the inner forearm will interrupt the process. It won't be clean, there will be significant bleeding but it's the only reliable way to stop it."

Leo nodded slowly. He had no intention of spending another rut with Jared. But the information settled in him like something necessary.

He pulled out his phone and showed her a photo of the medication he'd been taking for years.

She studied it.

"You can continue this. However, for your specific case, I'd recommend transitioning to our new treatment. a medication that combines the herbal complex standard in suppressors with enzymes that accelerate the elimination of erratically produced pheromones, which is consistent with your profile. This would significantly help in defining your subgender." She smiled. "I'd like to have this sorted before you start university, if possible."

She gave him instructions to collect the new treatment package at reception. He'd need to tell his mother about the change  but maybe, finally, they were getting somewhere.

cont. part two