Year 18-4

After a night of drinking with the nameless orange elf, I awoke to a morning of storms. There were clouds outside, but more so in my head. The sting and rattle of coming alive were enough to dream for more sleep. As I opened my eyes, lightning struck outside a window, and its afterglow illuminated the room I found myself lying in.

It wasn’t Harris’ cramped accommodations. It was far too full a space.

A bedroom.

The bed was big enough for three bodies. Exotic black animal furs warmed the floors. Wild plants grew from the window throughout the various walls, like paintings made of vines and orchids. Sitting up, I questioned how I had arrived in this peculiar place until my answer entered from another room.

The elf was lightly dressed. He went to look out the window while I stood from the bed and realized I was nude.

“What have you done to me?” I snarled.

“I think it’s what you’ve done to me,” the elf laughed while turning to address my hostility.

I searched the room for my garments, armor, and weapons, but they were littered without order.

“No one knows you’re here, and I don’t have a reason to tell them you stayed in my sheets,” he added while walking over to hand me my pants.

“You lie,” I said, but with doubt.

Might I have barked had I not known? As I took the last bit of my clothes, I knew what I’d done. No amount of drinking was enough to make me forget entirely, but I couldn’t believe I had allowed myself.

“Was I your first?” he calmly questioned while watching me dress in a hurry.

I missed loops, improperly tied knots, and forgot to fasten straps.

“I’ll kill you if this ever,” I spoke words I felt I had to, until he walked away.

Returning to the window, he said, “I know you will, but I would never. You have my word.”

“Your word means nothing,” I said, but he repeated softly, “You have my word.”

Might I have drawn my sword? Yes. The shame was enough. Tempted were my hands, but the elf was not responsible. His involvement was only possible through my allowance.

In his eyes, he understood what I had only found. I should have been grateful, but there was only venom. No. After a while, I couldn’t say I had rage either. My throat was full of guilt and shame.

I left the room and came to realize the elf’s quarters were above the tavern. Walking down wooden steps, I feared the barmen might have seen me. Lucky for my pride, the establishment was empty. I escaped the bar to walk home through the morning rain.

Sodomy was never penalized through written laws. Regardless, it was disruptive to live life as a Fig. Yet, for a woman to love a woman was never obscene.

It was believed that most of the gods were female. “Only a woman could give birth to a man,” they would say. Mortal women were seen as sacred blessings from the gods, to be desired, protected, and, above all, loved. To choose a man over the holy figure of a woman was a violation.

I never worshipped a God, male or female, but I understood common order. I had committed acts that could have put eyes on me. Worse, it could have set sights on Michael, Loreal, and my adopted siblings.

Eager by guilt, I was ready to finish the leather merchant’s assignment. It was time I left Sous.