He blinked.

In the darkness of his mind, the sound of his breathing woke him up.

A few pieces of dim light weakly interrupted the intimacy of that space protected by automatic curtains. His lips were dry.

His mind was on alert—once again he was waking up in the beast's den. He felt how upon opening his eyes, all his senses had gone on absolute guard. He wasn't going to lie; for a brief moment he toyed with the idea of staying there lying down, waiting for Jared to wake up beside him and simply watch the world burn before his eyes.

He smiled, and sudden anguish immediately erased it. His mind quickly created an imaginary scenario with a possible argument, the consequent explanation, the irremediable end of their friendship, and even the possibility of having to change universities if Jared's family took it out on him.

No, he couldn't. He couldn't lose everything for "this."

Slowly and carefully he tried to move his limbs—they felt heavy and several lashes of pain made him stifle a moan. He turned his head slowly to confirm he was still there, though he already knew it. Unlike the first time, this time he wasn't nervous, he was incredibly tired. He turned his gaze toward his own body, observing it with concern—it was disgusting. He sat up slowly. He would have loved to be able to move with greater agility, but it was impossible for him. Luckily Jared was immersed in deep sleep.

He remembered the knotting and wanted to kick his head. With fear he inspected the inside of his legs, but there was no bleeding or anything similar—at least something good. However, it was too early to celebrate; he didn't know if he had any internal injuries, and it was impossible to ignore the doctor's warning. He took a gulp of air before moving again. With horror he had to confirm that practically every inch of his body hurt—he didn't know how he would manage to get back home. He needed some strong painkillers. He tried to organize his thoughts; he didn't even know how much time had passed since he had arrived at Jared's house. He remembered the alpha's phone, and the call he had made the night before—he had to resolve that. He looked for the phone but it didn't seem to be in the room. With superhuman effort he sat up, and slowly went to the living room, closing the bedroom door behind him. With eyes moist from the stabs of pain he felt with each step, he took the opportunity to pick up his clothes and get dressed on the go.

Something caught his attention—on the entrance table, next to a packet of pills, was the phone. Curiously he looked at the blister and saw that 4 pills were missing. He recognized the name—it was medicine for migraines. When had he taken them? He took his phone from inside his pants to check the time. More than 12 hours had passed, which was little for an alpha's rut, however the migraine drug could act as an inhibitor in certain cases. He clung to that belief, and his mind tempted him with the idea of showering before leaving. He still felt different types of dried fluids on his skin and it disgusted him, but taking a shower would take too much time, and right now "watching the world burn" seemed like an extremely heavy task. 

He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

He grabbed Jared's phone, unlocked it and deleted the call history. Then he turned off the phone directly. Already dressed, he grabbed his shoes and carried them in his hand. He smiled amused at his own ideas—he was refining his fugitive strategies. He left the apartment, although this time, part of his new plan, he left the door ajar, and with his head down went toward the exit that led to the emergency stairs. He quickened his pace as much as he could, mainly because he didn't want anyone to see him in that state. He needed a painkiller immediately. Halfway down the stairs, he remembered he still hadn't put on his shoes, so he put them on. He used the same exit as the previous time and went to the metro station. He walked with his head down and his jacket closed. Some people looked at him sideways, but he didn't care—he probably looked like a drunk waking up on the streets. While crossing the metro station to exit on the opposite side, he opened the taxi app and requested one. He knew the stop was on the other side, but he took advantage of using the app since it would avoid unnecessary waits, plus he could already put in the destination, which would save him annoying interactions. When he came out, he looked for the car he booked, located it and hurried to get in. The driver spent the entire trip looking at him through the rearview mirror. The man, about 60 years old, asked him on two occasions if he was okay or if he needed to be taken to a hospital. Did he look that bad? He tried to answer but could barely manage. He paid him and the man said goodbye with evident concern.

He arrived at his house, opened the door quickly, and upon closing the door let himself fall to the floor relieved—he felt like he couldn't move his legs anymore. He stayed there lying down for a good while. His intention was to take a slight breather, though when he opened his eyes it was already dark. He took out his phone and threw it away so he wouldn't look at it. He turned to look at the clock in the small dining room—he had slept about five hours. He was shivering with cold. He sat up as best he could and couldn't help laughing quietly. The treatment for genital pain had turned out expensive, since it was the only area that really didn't hurt.

Dragging his feet, he went to the bathroom, took off his clothes as best he could and got under the hot shower. Without knowing why, he started crying like a little child—suddenly he felt so empty.

He promised himself it was the last time he would respond to Jared's rut. He felt like shit, now that the euphoria and pleasure were behind him, and were just part of a memory. His skin was covered with hickeys, with marks, his entire body sticky from seminal fluids, his hair dirty from sweat and with pain that made it difficult to move. All of that was too high a price to pay for a night of sex. He rinsed away his tears, groped for soap and ran it all over his body until he saw himself covered in the comforting peach-scented foam. He rinsed off, and with a little more strength came out of the shower. He was freezing cold. He wrapped himself in the towel and went to look for warm pajamas. He couldn't walk around much, so he sat down again, rested a while before going to the medicine cabinet to look for something for the pain. Horrified, he confirmed he had nothing. He thought it would be best to sleep and forget the pain, however he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He went to pick up the phone from where he had thrown it before—it had little battery left. With fear he looked at the screen, saw nothing alarming, unlocked it and saw that luckily he had no messages from Jared. His silence was something positive.

One name, however, caught his attention.

Lenny had written to know if everything had gone well. Before he could think about it, he pressed the button to call.

Lenny answered immediately. He was grateful he didn't give him any strange greeting—it was as if he had been waiting for his call.

"Lenny, I know that..." Leo began, trying to apologize in advance.

"Tell me what you need, I already have your address."

"Something for the pain, something strong."

"Okay, should I bring you some food?"

"Please."

"Alright, see you in a bit."

Lenny had already hung up. Leo sighed with relief, and without realizing it, fell asleep. The doorbell woke him up. For a few seconds he opened his eyes scared, but remembered it had to be Lenny. He sat up with a groan and went to the door to open it. Lenny scanned him as he usually did—this time it seemed he wanted to see if he was in one piece.

"Go to bed."

He felt Lenny's fixed gaze on his back.

"Drop the pride. Do you need help?"

Leo shook his head furiously while resuming his pace, though more slowly. When he reached the room, he got into bed feeling a bit guilty. It was either call him or call his mom, and he couldn't face his mother's intensive questioning at that moment.

He dozed off again and opened his eyes when he felt a caress in his hair. He opened his eyes and met Lenny's worried gaze. He was a guy who expressed little, very little, but at that precise moment, he looked concerned. He had brought him some soup, gave him a few spoonfuls and then helped him take the painkiller.

"It's strong, it'll take away the pain but it'll also make you very sleepy." Leo nodded. "Can I examine you?"

Leo looked at him confused.

"I'm not going to ask questions, but spending a rut with an alpha while being alpha or beta can be extremely dangerous. Can I examine you? I'll have to touch some areas of your body but not your genitals, is that okay?"

Leo nodded.

Lenny smiled sweetly at him and Leo felt protected for a moment. The young man applied pressure throughout the central part of his torso, the upper part of his stomach, the side of his abdomen, in the center and in the lower abdominal area, which was still very sensitive. He sighed with relief.

"I'm still not a doctor, so if you don't feel better tomorrow, it's better to go to the emergency room."

"How do you know so much?"

"It's a very long story—I'd need to be pretty drunk to tell it"

Leo looked at him somewhat amused and scared at the same time.

"All that is part of the past now." Lenny looked at his watch. "I'm going to leave, but first I'm going to give you a fever reducer—you're burning up. Don't worry, it's probably from the same thing."

Leo looked at him surprised.

"Don't you want to be my new specialist?"

Lenny laughed quietly. For a second his gaze seemed loaded with sadness.

"I'm fascinated by medicine, though I couldn't practice it." Lenny diverted his gaze toward the closet. "By the way, what do I do with the clothes you left scattered in the bathroom? Burn them?"

Leo started laughing, though he regretted it the next second upon feeling the stabs of pain in his abdomen.

Leo looked at him strangely and without thinking said:

"Yes, throw them away please." He wanted to erase the night from his mind, though it was going to be quite difficult.

Leo had to acknowledge that the painkiller Lenny had given him was magical. It had made him sleep for about 18 hours, and every hour he had slept was worth it. He had woken up renewed. The pain had disappeared almost entirely, which, when he told Lenny, he said was a good sign. He reminded him again that he had to find a specialist no matter what.

The only thing that persisted was the headache, and when he measured his fever, he noticed it hadn't completely gone away. He looked for his phone and saw it was plugged in—he supposed Lenny had put it to charge the day before. He turned on the phone to check the study groups; he should have gone to university that day, but due to the discomfort he had had, he hadn't been able to attend. When he turned on the device, he saw several messages in one of the study groups. He thought something had happened, opened it somewhat worried, and to his pleasant surprise, Lenny had talked to two of his study companions so they would send him the material from the first two days. Then he saw the young man's private messages where he recommended staying one more day as well as washing particularly well—he could have alpha pheromones that could easily give him away. Leo realized he hadn't even thought about it, mainly because he had been left in a deplorable state. He remembered that last time he had used a neutralizer. He did a brief search to find out what was best in his case since he had gone through knotting. The results horrified him—knotting pheromones could resist up to 5 days on the receiver's skin. He wasn't willing to miss more lesson´s days. As recommended, he went to a pharmacy for advice, and ended up taking a kit with neutralizing soap, neutralizing spray, and perfume as a third step since the pheromones were from an ultra-dominant alpha.

The neutralizer was fine, but the perfume was disgusting to him, though it was that or the well-known cigarettes that masked pheromones, but he had never picked up the smoking habit, so he would have to endure the perfume.

On the third day he was back at university. He still had a fever and was already getting worried, but it was the only symptom that persisted. He also noticed that despite not having body pain, he was exhausted. He would have loved to talk to Lenny that day, but they were attending a conference with his class and wouldn't return until late. He knew absolutely nothing about Jared. 

That day, while resigned to eating lunch alone, he took out his sandwich and drink, and North appeared. The poor guy didn't look good either. He brought his tray—he had opted for rice with chicken.

- cont. part two-