Noel Faust

I couldn't stop crying. Sil held me as I did. "Sorry," I said. "I'm trying to... to stop."

"You always cry, Artie, it's okay. Or do you want to be called Noel now?"

I hadn't thought about it. Yet I still couldn't process anything she'd said to me. I knew of my birth in pieces. Mother was never terribly open about it. But the storm, that was something I knew well. I'd always had a feeling that I caused the storm that wiped out half of our tribe. Now I knew it to be true.

"I don't want to hurt anyone, Sil," I said, shaking. "So much blood is on my hands. I'm scared. I'm so scared."

"You have the audacity to be scared when I'm by your side, do you?" she said gently. When I looked over at her with tear-stained eyes, she smiled. It was so beautiful.

"You... are okay with me being in a woman's body?"

"The curse gives you two chances at life, and two different skill sets," she started. "That body was always a part of yours. And each body can die three times. Isn't it only natural for me to love and accept all of my life partner? You're fine with my arm, yes?"

"Of course!" I said quickly. "I run warm anyway, so it feels nice when you touch me!" I blurted out. Then I cocked my head. "Oh, but what about these memories? I've got a second layer. A family name, things like that. That doesn't make a lot of sense."

"Due to the benefactor. The creature is capable of much more than we think. So don't think for a second we've got it figured out. But for now, it tricked you, and I'm a Sinner, too. So let's complete our tasks together."

"Right. And, you feel that as well? Rebecca's... emotions."

Sil went quiet for a moment. "I do."

It was like a sensor, rising and falling in intensity, a dull pain mixed with that intense urge to hurt. Right now, it was going wild.

"They're close," Sil said.

"Aye."

Around the corner of the courtyard, the door opened. Eugene Trapper, our instructor, walked out.

"I was looking for you, Miss Noel," he said. "Would you like to chat in private? There was something a little concerning about your display earlier. Something that would surely bore a prodigy like Miss Silica."

"U-Uh." I looked to Sil.

"I'm joining her. We know each other, and she doesn't like being alone with strangers," Sil said, standing and taking my hand. I blushed.

"It's only going to be a moment, and we wouldn't want to bother you with such needless basic knowledge when you no doubt would enjoy time to mourn. I won't tally you if you'd like to go home, even."

"It would be within your best interest to stop speaking and take us where you were going to go," Sil responded in a snap.

He flinched. "Very well."

"S-Sil!" I whispered. Though I could understand one thing very well: she was furious.

We followed the instructor through corridors leading to his office. He cleared his throat as we approached it. "Ah, Harry might be in here, that foolish boy of mine. Let me check if he is."

"Why would you not check before inviting Noel to your office to discuss things?"

He flinched. "Well, I did, but..."

"Whatever, open the door." Sil sat next to the door, not entering. "Don't mention that I'm here."

"I should really a—"

She summoned her blade, holding it with her left hand and pointing it toward him. With her other hand, she put a finger to her lips.

Seemingly understanding, he simply opened the door, allowing me to enter.

I walked into the office to a startling silence. Was Harry in here? Did he make a run for it?

"The walls! Watch out!" a voice screamed in my head. As if from the wall, hands reached out to grab me.

"Harry, no!" Eugene screamed.

I was grabbed by my throat, pulled flush against a body.

"What? I grabbed the bitch just like you aske—"

He released me as Sil stood by the doorway. "Shit."

I gasped for air, but not before Rebecca's flames surged behind me, shooting toward Harry. They met a block of ice. "Not yet," Silica said. "Eugene, explain yourself."

I sat quietly. Sil came up to me, pulling me to her side.

"H-Harry was just playing with the girl. They know each other. You know, the Trappers and Fausts have always been close."

I felt something try to probe into my mind as he spoke, as if it was trying to alter my thoughts and memories. The flames from Rebecca seemed to die down at this.

"Is that so," Sil said.

Her ability to have the same tone no matter what was astounding. But more than that, I could sense what Eugene was trying to do. Yet I could easily place the false memories.

"I don't know Harry at all," I said. "You were planning on killing me. Why? Because I knew your secret?" I tried to speak clearly, despite the shakes ramming through my body. If not for Sil, I would have powerlessly died once again.

"You don't understand why we have to do this."

"Do you truly think there's a way to reason out of this?" Sil responded. She didn't dissipate her blade. After a moment, she pulled me behind her.

I felt a tinge of frustration. I felt so weak. Helpless. The chances of me doing this on my own were zero. Was Sil even okay with someone so powerless? She cut off her arm for me. Found me before I could even tell her who I was. Comforted me.

"We cleanse the royal families of their unwanted children," Harry said. Eugene gave him a look, but he pushed past him as he walked. "Don't blame us, blame her father! He offered us a ton of money and an arranged marriage with her older sister for taking her out! Said her Eldyr was weak, and all sorts of other stuff!" he rambled.

"Artie, what does she think about their answer? I can't feel her thoughts like you can," Sil said.

"Uh, let me try to check." I responded, trying to pick up on Rebecca's presence within me.

It almost felt like nothing. Like the fury she had felt had dissipated into nothingness. Yet a small, single flame was preserved. I felt it deep inside of me.

"Father... did this," the words came out of my mouth, though they weren't mine. "I loved him so much, yet all of those moments I thought were special... he saw me as a burden. As collateral. Enough to kill me."

Sil stayed silent. Her gaze didn't seem to change much. She kept her eyes on me, as my own filled with tears.

"Kill them," Rebecca said. "Please."

"Understood."

Even if they tried to fight back, it was pointless. They knew as much as well.

Sil didn't move yet.

Eugene was first. He dropped to his knees. "So this is how it ends... years of doing dirty work for the royal families..."

"I knew we shouldn't have touched someone that was in the academy. But you couldn't wait to get your hands on her," Harry said. "Silica... we've attended all of the same classes for years. Couldn't y—"

He was cut off. Silica slashed his head from his body. It rolled on the ground, eyes wide, as his body went limp.

Eugene looked at her in horror. "I-I know what happened to Artie!"

She looked at him. The air felt colder immediately as she crossed the distance to the other edge of the office almost quicker than I could perceive.

"I believe I told you not to mention his name. It's unbefitting to hear the name of someone so important come out of the mouth of a disgusting pig like yourself."

She kicked him to the ground, grinding her foot into his head. "Speak," she commanded.

"Sil..." I said. She didn't respond. She looked pained. It's typically hard to tell, but her brow was slightly furrowed as she looked down at him.

I wanted to reach out. Yet I felt frozen. I'd never have been so readily able to kill. I probably never would be.

"T-The king was talking about giving you some sort of challenge, to properly welcome the Faeryns and Frostmoore into the grand council... I heard whispers of the other instructors wondering if he'd cull the baggage you carried."

I blinked. That couldn't be true. The killer was clearly near the Frostmoore estate. I shook my head, but said nothing.

Sil caught it. "So your plea to life after doing who knows what to a girl your son's age is a rumor."

She didn't give him another chance. He was dispatched as quickly as Harry.

"Art... Noel, are you all right?" She walked toward me, gently cupping my cheeks.

"I... I don't know."

"Don't listen to him. To anyone that's ever said wrong about you. You're my lifeline." She looked into my eyes. It was so pure that I had to force myself to look away.

My heart raced. "I..."

I couldn't stop the anxiety coursing through me. "I'll only hold you back, Sil," I said softly.

Then I ran.