Although he speed-walked in front, Lane didn’t exactly know where the door to the garden was. He just kept on shuffling. As long as Kenny wasn’t able to pace up to him, he was fine. He didn’t want Kenny to see his face turn pink or express anything that came out as flirtatious involuntarily. He was mad at how fine Kenny looked that day: the crisp way the suit aligned with Kenny’s body, the arrangement of his hair slicked back loosely, leaving the ends fluffier than ever, the popped off collar. Lane was afraid he would swoon all the way to the floor. The black of the suit and the black of his hair together made his dark honey complexion pop-he looked like a love interest straight out of one of Lois’s romance animes. He finally understood why she enjoyed them so much. Where was Lois?? She had promised him that they would stick together having not really known anyone else very much. ‘Such betrayal’ Lane shook his head.

“Lane!” Kenny hollered from five doors behind, “This one’s open!”

The garden was other worldly. The mist that gathered on his cheeks as he stepped out turned out to be a perfect curtain, marking the gateway to what felt like another world. Lane’s utopia! The intoxicating smell of moonflowers, primroses and all other flowers warped into each other creating a perfume that can never be replicated by artificial scents. Statues and sculptures of weeping angels and Greek gods sat in between the canopies of square bushes, their hollow eyes illuminated by the warm night lamps placed beneath them. For a minute, Lane stood there wondering what made them cry. They seemed to look directly into Lane’s soul, warning him and weeping when he moved on.  But what was so special was the natural glow coming out of the flowers and leaves themselves- faint yet giving them the appearance of having come from a fae palace. A glow of nourishment and life. Distracted by the tranquility around him, he sat down on a small wall and took a deep breath of fresh air that didn’t smell like oily short eats.

“It’s cold” Lane mumbled as Kenny caught up, shivering with his hands in his pockets. He patted the spot on the wall next to him and waited peacefully as Kenny sat there. He felt himself lean into Kenny’s warm body just a little bit. He wasn’t sure about it, but he felt Kenny lean in as well. They didn’t have anything to say necessarily so they just sat there enjoying each other’s company. Lane drummed his fingers on his thigh, taking occasional glances at his friend. They frequently made eye contact, making both of them take a sharp breath and look away immediately.

“You look really pretty today” Kenny said. He was definitely admiring his thin stature- every sharp edge, mole and fold on Lane’s skin that showed clearly through his see-through voile shirt. He curled his shoulders in, tucking his arms close to his chest – still insecure of the scars on his chest. Sometimes part of him wondered whether he had done the right thing. Did it make sense for him to identify a male when he still enjoyed such feminine things? Removing them had seemed to lift a whole wight off Lane’s head. It made him more attuned to his soul…euphoric. That’s why he had chosen this shirt…he wanted to show everyone who he was and that he was happy. Lane noticed Kenny panic - he probably didn’t expect himself to actually say it. He checked himself over: a tight slim-fitting translucent magenta shirt tucked into skinny office trousers that ended an inch away from his ankles and a pair of black loafers with small gold heels slipped on with ankle socks. He had ‘borrowed’ some of his mother’s eyeliner and his sister’s glittery lip gloss for the final touch. Twirling his thick gold necklace around his fingers he thought about the perfect way to respond to that, then tilted his head.

“What did you say?” he asked, knowing completely well what Kenny had said.  He had to hold his smile between his teeth when a wave of relief washed over his friend.

“The garden” Kenny stuttered, fluttering his hand about the scene, “it’s really pretty”. Kenny did not know how to lie!

“It is.” Lane agreed, despite having the strong urge to interrogate Kenny whether that was exactly what he had said, “isn’t it?” Once again, they fell into their routinely silence, listening to the music that bopped inside. Whether he liked it or not, his sister had put the clues together and was now insisting him on multiple occasions to say something to Kenny…Lane wondered whether this was the moment. But then again, Kenny was probably already overstimulated by his brother’s event- it wouldn’t be right to use or abuse his vulnerability. However, that didn’t mean Lane couldn’t show a bit of affection without slapping it across Kenny’s face in big red poster letters that said ‘I’M MADLY OBSESSED WITH YOU’. A familiar song started playing inside and he got up.

“I love this song!” he exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips, “wanna dance?”

“Go on ahead!” Kenny encouraged, “I’ll catch up”

“No!” Lane exclaimed, “I wanna dance outside!”

“Dance then.” Kenny smiled, pulling his phone out to record the whole thing, “No one’s stopping you!” Lane rolled his eyes, wondering why Kenny wasn’t using his usually knowledgeable brain to understand what exactly he was talking about.“No, I-I can’t- I don’t know how-“Kenny backed away as Lane reached out for his hand. He didn’t let him refuse, yanking him up by the arms whether he liked it or not. “Lane!” Kenny whined. Ignoring the various yelps and complaints, Lane took Kenny’s hand and put it on his own hip. It felt like electrocuting himself, sending impulses all through him and his brain. He breathed. Maybe this was worse than telling him but at that point it, didn’t matter. He had the opportunity and he rolled with it. He held Kenny’s other hand: the wide palm and short fingers contradicting with his own long bony ones. Kenny’s palm was a bit rougher than he’d expected, like he had been doing some sort of heavy work and Lane found sanctuary in it.

“Now” he said poising himself up, “we dance.” At first Lane lead, with Kenny wobbling on his feet reluctantly here and there, glaring at Lane to let him go. But not long after, his friend took more control of his actions as he started letting his walls down and enjoying himself until Kenny started leading Lane entirely. Lane was dipped, twirled- even lifted off the floor once! Nothing to be surprised about - he didn’t weigh much. The stereotypical ‘falling in love at a ball’ trope - Lane didn’t mind but he was falling and that’s all he cared about. “Kenny!” Lane giggled as he was spun into his partner’s embrace, “You said you don’t know how!”

“I’m doing what I saw in the movies” Kenny confessed.

“Well,” Lane looked deep into Kenny’s eyes. The introverted side of him screamed for him to jerk away and run across all the way back to Slovakia, but he held it and so did Kenny, “You’re a fast learner”. The song unfortunately ended and as much as Lane wanted to dance more, he stepped away. Kenny bowed at him in a very princely manner.

“I…” Kenny exhaled, “hope I did you justice?” he phrased it a question so that Lane had the open to easily say yes or no. Lane couldn’t say yes, he couldn’t say no either. His heartbeat hammered in his vocal cords, getting in the way of the words that processed there. Instead, he lunged at Kenny with a hug-and it wasn’t one of those normal hugs. He dropped to his knees so he could bury his face in the crook of Kenny’s neck and dug his fingers into the tousles of Kenny’s hair. He pressed himself against Kenny, yearning for the warmth he might never have a chance to feel again. When Kenny tilted his head gently so that his cheek would touch Lane’s still lying on his shoulder, he nearly wept. He shuddered with excitement as Kenny wrapped both his arms easily around his narrow figure and pressed him tighter still. It was even more worth it when he felt Kenny’s finger absent-mindedly tracing the outline of his neck, then down each of his ribs. Their hearts hummed together as they held on. “I guess I don’t have to tell you anymore…” Kenny chuckled quietly

“I knew from the start” Lane hushed, putting his finger to Kenny’s lips, “cítim to rovnako*…” he lost his English.

“Lane?” Kenny whispered throatily as he stroked the back of Lane’s neck to and fro, “Would you mind if I kissed you just tonight?” Was this actually Kenny talking? He felt Kenny shift in waking consciousness and uncertainty loosening his grasp, “as a..slow dance…tradition... you know?” he mumbled trying to cover up.

“No” Lane exhaled shortly, swinging his arm over Kenny’s backside to close anymore gaps that remained between them, “not just tonight”. Kenny searched for a correct response to Lane’s reply, opening and closing his mouth like a guppy searching for air. Lane smiled when Kenny decided that there really was nothing he could possibly say and resorted to grinning coyly back. He allowed Kenny to lift his chin towards his mouth and his eyes to flutter closed.

“LANE!” Lois called and his heart stopped. Taking a shaky breath in, he turned to face his sister. The anger he felt was beyond incomprehensible, as his nostrils flared and his vision blurred more than it already was, red spots dancing across his pupils. As Kenny loosened his grip and backed away, Lane grabbed his elbow tightly, signalling for him to stay as he was. Using Kenny’s shoulder for support, he stood up, still glaring daggers at Lois.“I’m so sorry” she hiccupped, giving attention to her feet, “Mom told me to come get you. I thought you might be here…” She turned on her heel - ashamed and started fleeing back, her droopy black dress reflecting her emotion of guilt and self-loathing. Lane gave Kenny a pained smile and followed her into the hall.

*Translation:

Cítim to rovnako* - I feel the same way