“So… I have a girlfriend,” Harlow smiled, his face a bit red, “I mean… Well, I’m planning to? I’m going to ask her to the homecoming, and if she says yes, then I’ll ask her if she wants to be my girlfriend.”

“Aw,” Kieran laughed, “That’s sweet that you think any girl would put up with you, Harlow.”

“Pai,” he grumbled, “Why are you teasing me?”

“Because you were mean to your sibling today, and while Dad dealt with it, I have to get a few jabs in here and there. What’s her name?”

“Gracie. She’s in half of my classes, President of the chemistry club, and plays softball. She’s really nice.”

“How sweet. Does she like you back?”

“She does,” I snorted, “We talk a lot, she’s my friend. She keeps asking me to see if Harlow has a girlfriend, and I keep telling her no. She’s kind of waiting for him to ask at this point. You gotta ask her before someone else does.”

“Yeah, I’m going to ask tomorrow. Anyway, that’s all I was hiding. I want her to come meet you, though. You let Fern bring her boyfriend over all the time.”

“They’ve been together forever, and I think he’s planning to move in with her and Becki to keep the rent low,” Ren shrugged.

“Your turn,” Harlow kicked my leg, making me fidget nervously, “Tell them the truth, Aster.”

“I didn’t fall at practice,” I whispered, and Ren held his hand out to me, squeezing when I took it, “There’s this girl on the team. She’s new to the school. Kind of one of those pick-me types. She’s really touchy with all of the football players, and since a lot of them have girlfriends on our squad, the girls all got pissed off but kept it to themselves, just talking shit about Amanda behind her back. She does it too. I try to stay out of it, but I really don’t like it. Anyway, there’s a guy on the team. He’s a year ahead of us, a junior now. Stupidest name ever. Caleb Steele. You know, we’ve had issues since second grade. We really don’t like each other, but Harlow protects me from him. He’s just a dick. I also think there’s some internal homophobia going on, but I don’t want to make assumptions. Anyway, I was in the middle of an argument with him as we usually do, he stole my water bottle and threw it clear across the field just to watch me run for it. Typical asshole star quarterback. I was pretty much just going to leave it there when Caleb scoffed at me and pinched my cheek. I smacked his arm away and went to hit him again because he winked at me, when Amanda tripped me and started fawning all over him. I hit the benches, and that tore my uniform and hurt me. He freaking hates her, keeps telling her to leave him alone, and she just doesn’t listen. I was bleeding pretty badly, and Caleb surprisingly helped me up off the ground before getting another of his stupid remarks off about how it wouldn’t happen if I just stuck to baseball. Coach Grey and Coach Equa saw all of it. Coach Grey dragged Caleb off the field and made him run laps, thinking we were actually fighting. I don’t think we were,” I shrugged, “We do this every day, all day. As much as we don’t get along, Caleb isn’t a bad person. He just messes with me until I lose my temper because he thinks it’s funny. I told him I was sorry after practice and thanked him for helping me up off the ground. He had actually grabbed my water when he was running laps and returned it before pulling a stack of bandages out of his backpack and giving them to me at the end of the day. He carries them everywhere. I’ve noticed all the little injuries he gets. Football is rough, I guess. But these were… really cute ones. Covered in flowers in pastel colors. Don’t tell anyone, Harlow. They aren’t the same ones he wears.”

“I won’t. Have you noticed he always wears long sleeves?” Harlow picked a piece of grass and blew on it, making it whistle.

“I don’t question what people wear. I get to wear uniform skirts when I want. Anyway, Coach Equa listened to what we had to say, and we all agreed that Amanda should be kicked off our squad. She’s brought nothing but hostility since she started, and thinks she’s better than all of us. I’ll be cheer captain starting next year. We held an election and everyone voted for me since Heather graduates this year and has been teaching me everything. Amanda is about to make my life a living hell, and I know I can handle it, but… It just…”

“Aster, you did the right thing,” Ren whispered, hugging me tightly, “But you need to start taking note and reporting everything she does to you and anyone else. Give it to your coach, a counselor, or the headmaster. Whoever you need to. Don’t let her ruin your last few years of high school because she wants to be a bitch. People like her aren’t worth your time or energy. Don’t let her rent space in your head.”

“Yeah. You’re right. Thanks,” I nodded, “Sorry for hiding it. I guess I’ve just been feeling down since she joined the squad. I just want people to get along. I’ve never once felt unwelcome at our school, especially since I came out. Everyone has been super accepting of me, even Caleb. He just makes stupid jokes, but never anything that would actually hurt my feelings. Amanda, though… She calls me awful things behind my back, and the girls on the squad tell me. He/She is her favorite. But she’s called me a fag, loser, dick rider. It uh… It really hurt. I’ve never even kissed someone, and she tried to spread rumors throughout the football team that I only joined the cheer squad to try and get with the girls. Luckily, no one believed her since they’ve all known me forever and trust me to take care of their girlfriends. I don’t let anything or anyone get too close to them. They’re my best friends. We take care of each other. She wants Caleb, and since he’s the only one who’s single on the team, she gets in the way of anyone trying to talk to him, but he can’t stand it. I’ve intervened so many times.”

“Me too,” Harlow nodded, “Like Aster said, Caleb is a good guy, he just likes to mess with Aster the way I do. I’m hoping that with her gone, the morale will go back up again. Things have been tense on the football team because of her, too.”

“Jesus,” Kieran sighed, “She sounds like a menace.”

“Bitch more like,” I muttered, making Ren laugh.

“Language, bug. I’ve let you cuss enough for one day.”

“Fine. I’ll be okay. I won’t let her get to me. Oh, Harlow?”

“Mhm?”

“Did you pull another prank on me?”

“No? I realized after I ruined your uniform that it was way too much. Even when I did it, I knew how badly I had messed up.”

“Huh. Someone slipped a note in my locker asking me to meet them after the next football game to talk. Well, it’s probably Amanda fucking with me. I just won’t go.”

“Language,” Ren groaned again, and I giggled, a wide smile finally on my face, “There it is. I agree with Harlow. I hadn’t seen you truly smile in a long time, but I didn’t want to push you into telling me. Do you have homework?”

“Yep,” I nodded.

“No,” Harlow shook his head, but we all knew he was lying.

“Harlow,” Ren poked his stomach, and he grumbled.

“Fine! I’m already freaking grounded, why do I have to study for my biology test?"

“Because you can’t afford to fail your classes or they’ll kick you off the football team and you’re supposed to start the next game,” I rolled on my stomach before jumping up, fixing the orange oversized sweater I was wearing over white tights.

“You look like a pushpop,” Harlow laughed, and I kicked him in the side, “Ow!”

“It’s payback for ruining my uniform.”

“Ugh, fine.”

We headed to our room, and I grabbed my books, taking them to my desk until Harlow’s off-key singing drove me insane, and I went to the dining room. My parents were puttering around cleaning for a while before I once again asked for Kieran’s help. He spent the rest of the evening walking me through equations, and when we finished, I realized that Harlow and Ren were quietly talking in the laundry room.

“Um, hey Pai?” I pulled my legs up, resting my chin on my knees.

“What’s up?” Kieran smiled, ruffling my hair.

“How do I… understand how I feel about someone? I mean, truly, not just what I say.”

“Hm, that’s a super difficult question for me to answer. We all feel things differently. You could try looking into your heart, pulling the emotions apart piece by piece. Frankie always wrote out her feelings, and that seemed to help. Ren is fond of pros and cons lists. It’s just finding what will work for you and doing that. Do you have a crush?”

“No!” I gasped, “God no!”

“Liar,” he muttered, making me laugh.

“Pai, I don’t. I’m just confused.”

“We can always talk it out, bug.”

“I don’t think I can do that right now. Maybe someday, but even I don’t know why I asked that.”

“Alright. But come to me when you need it, and we can figure it out. No matter how long that might take.”

“Thanks, Pai,” I leaned against his arm, and Kieran gently kissed the top of my head.