Got No Ticket To Ride (Part 2)
Oct 12, 2025
Creator
Forge is interrogated and we meet new characters!!!
What will become of our Man in the Jacket?
"Yes Virginia, now Forge's doing time..."
Top comment
Heya! Coming from the forum~
Since you explicitly requested feedback on items 7 & 8, I'll include them here. As for my overall feelings, maybe I'll include them in the forum!
I really love Forge's voice here; he sounds like a pirate in my mind. The whole sequence of being booked into prison flows well. I think what this episode needs is proofreading and editing to polish it up.
For example, "There could be seen multiple lines of pipes..." is grammatically incorrect, and you could eliminate "There could be seen" to tighten up the sentence. My edit would be: "Multiple lines of pipes ran across the ceiling and the riveted walls."
Plus, if the officers are of a certain species or nationality, you can capitalise them eg Nikean officers.
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