I flinched when we stepped into the warehouse, the same dark, drafty building being the first place that felt safe since Nonna. Something felt off about it, though I wasn’t sure what.

Max pulled me into the med corner. Crates stacked with bandages, sterilizers, and expired pain medication that tasted like death.

He set me down onto the table and held out a lantern for me to flick some fire into. I rolled my eyes but let a spark fly from my fingertips to the wick inside.

It was always his first test when treating any of us, making us use a small amount of our abilities to make sure we hadn’t lost them. We didn’t know how, but it was possible. A safe guard for the Eternals. If we get hurt too bad or die, we loose our powers to prevent them getting taken by someone else.

Pretty stupid to have powers that can get taken away in the first place, if you ask me.

He washed his hands in the sink nearby and came over to me with a flashlight. He raised his hand but waited for me to nod before touching me.

I nodded, his hand went to my face, my face heating instantly. He shined the light in my eyes, checking for a concussion I guess. I never really understood why blinding someone with a light could help you tell if you got your brain turned into a smoothie, but he was the doctor.

“What’s the diagnosis, doc?” I teased him, watching carefully as he then pulled up my shredded hoodie to examine the damage.

“Concussion, a broken rib, and stupidity.” Max listed, rolling his eyes at the last one with a smirk.

Even with all his healer calm, he still knew how to make me not as uncomfortable by cracking a few jokes with his sass.

“I think you pronounced ‘genius who saved your ass’ wrong.”

Max rolled his eyes again before removing his gloves and pressed his warm hands against my chest. My heart raced in my chest, his power seeping inside of me, I could feel it mending the rib and taking the ebb off the headache.

I tried to keep my breath steady, his hands pressed firmly yet gently against me like this was nothing. Casual. Normal.

And maybe it was, I got hurt a lot and I mean a lot. But feeling his hands against me always made my heart beat way faster than normal and made my face heat up, it was weird.

When he finally stepped back, done with his work, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Your heart rate was really high.” Max noted, now digging through a drawer for something.

I laughed, way too loud, like if I said it loud enough it’d be true. “Yeah, I dunno why.”

Max hummed at that like he didn’t believe me, and pulled out a bottle of pills. He dropped one into my hand and I took it dry before Max could even blink.

“I could’ve just poisoned you.” He chuckled softly.

I raised an eyebrow, a smirk coming back on my face. “Why would you heal me then poison me?”

Max shrugged. “Maybe I wanted you to trust me so I could poison you without even knowing.”

“Then why would you have brought up poison?” I countered, leaning back on my elbows, relishing in the way his blue eyes went to my chest before quickly looking away.

“You got me there.” He chuckled shakily, running a hand through his hair. “Get some rest, the pain killer should wear off by the time you’re asleep.”

“Sleep is for the weak, my friend.” I quoted, but jumped off the table anyways and made my way to our room. I forgot my hoodie. Not that I cared. It wasn’t keeping me warm anyway.

Sleep never came easy. I’d toss, turn, drift for a second—then snap awake at the sound of dust falling. And when I actually did pass out? Nightmares. Past, future, and Fire’s little ‘prophecies’ she loves to shove in my head.

After hours of restlessness, I gave up on sleep.

I stood from my bed, slipped on a new hoodie, and slipped out of the room, hoping not to wake Max or anyone else in the other rooms.

The concrete bit into my bare feet. I kinda liked it. Pain made more sense than sleep.

I sifted through the crate of snacks till I finally found something that seemed appetizing. An apple.

I sighed, taking a chunk from the fruit and plopping into a chair at the table, papers of notes, maps, and other random stuff was spread across the wood. 

I stared at the map, all neat strings and arrows I couldn’t make sense of. Important stuff, probably. But all it did was remind me I’d never keep up unless someone read it to me.

The map seemed to mark our path that we’d take in a day or so to finish off Thornblade.

The whole thing still seemed bizarre to me. Take down the evil mastermind that is Thornblade and somehow not die in the process.

It’d been over half a year since Declan got me out of that hellhole I used to call home. I used to hate him for taking me, making me a rogue, putting a target on my back. 

But then I realized what Thornblade was really doing. What he was using my powers for. To gain total control of everyone who were already scared and starving form the apocalypse. 

Then I was glad I was out.

My brain couldn’t turn off, I became restless thinking about everything—my leg bouncing rapidly under the table, shaking the floor and the apple I abandoned on the table after two bites. The apple rattled across the table like it was trying to escape me too.

I shoved my chair back, the old metal scraping against the ground, and began pacing.

My bare feet barely making a sound in the empty warehouse, but my heart seemed to be louder than ever, rabid uneven thumps in my chest that echoed off the walls.

I ran a hand through my hair, tugging slightly just to feel something. Needing something to just shut up my head.

Words I never said.

Terrible things I’ve done.

Hugs I never gave.

Things I almost did.

I hated nights. That’s when all the shit comes back. And in the morning, everyone expects me to be funny again. Like none of it happened.

Or maybe I’m the only one that expects that of me. But I’m not gonna sit around and find out.

I paced for what felt like hours though was probably only minutes before reaching for my boots. 

We weren’t allowed to go out alone, especially at night. But since when did I ever listen to rules?

I shoved my bare feet into my boots and trudged out into the night. The warehouse sat at the very end of sector five, I ran my hand along the thick walls, metal and concrete, making it impenetrable for monsters unless they were really hungry.

But there were enough people in the poorer sectors to hate Thornblade so they made doors to easily get into the passages between sectors. We just so happened to be positioned right near one.

I slipped past the wood door, making sure it shut all the way behind me. Tall looming walls separated by about two feet of walking space. 

I slipped into these when I needed to breathe. When I needed to get out.

Which happened more often than I liked to admit.

Declan didn’t know I go out, or maybe he just trusts me enough to come back in the morning.

My boots crunched the gravel as I cut through the maze I knew by heart.

Most patrols weren’t out at night ‘cause most people weren’t stupid enough to be out past curfew.

I’m not most people.

I slipped into the Sector Nine border but going into the small sewer drain that was actually just a entrance to the train tunnels. I climbed down the ladder before jumping down onto the track, my feet slammed into the ground hard, my ankle tilting sideways with a crack.

“Shit.” I muttered, shaking out my foot like that’d help, pain shot through my leg and all the way up my back instantly, I had to bite back a scream.

I’ve had worse. I started walking, ignoring the dizziness that almost made me trip over air.

The pain became slightly more manageable by the time I’d made it out of the train tunnels and up onto the roof of a crumbing building in Sector Nine.

I sat down with my elbows on my knees, watching the silent streets, the stars twinkling faintly behind the dark clouds that seemed to never leave.

On my left was a city scape of the market, little tables and stands setup and ready for tomorrow, the looming Sector wall in the distance. If you turned just right, you could get Thornblade’s building out of your view. I liked it that way, I didn’t turn the other way. Where the rich Sectors sat with their new buildings and plush pillows for their big heads.

It didn’t make sense to me, the way we were treated. The fact that the rich thrived and the poor suffered—when the rich had plenty to give to the rest of us who are dying from starvation and disease like rats.

I guess that’s how they see us though. Poor rats who weren’t lucky enough to be born into a rich family or left with a fortune after the apocalypse.

I used to wish we had money, that we could live in a fancy house, the fridge loaded with food, constant electricity and hot running water. Now I just laugh at it. At them.

The cowards hiding behind cash because it’s all they have.

I sat there, the cool air against my skin—keeping me awake—until the sun started to peek over the horizon.

I’d have times where I didn’t think I’d ever see another sunrise, so I like to watch them when I can.

Such a simple thing, something too soft for anyone to know.

If anyone finds out that I slip out at night, I’ll just say I light fires or something believable, something chaotic or stupid.

‘Cause that’s just who I am.

Or that’s what I try to make everyone believe, anyway.

By the time I got back to the warehouse, the sky was pink fading into blue, my ankle throbbed, and my eyes could barely stay open.

“Yep, time for coffee.” I murmured, pushing the door open and locking it behind me.

That’s when I noticed the lanterns were already on, window already open.

Someone was awake.

“Where were you?” I heard Declan say, my gaze snapped to him, sitting ominously at the table, bags under his eyes like he hadn’t slept a second all night.

“Out.” I muttered, making my way to the coffee, forcing my steps to seem normal despite the pain.

“Where ‘out’?” He raised an eyebrow, his voice cutting through the silence of the warehouse.

I sighed, pouring myself a mug of day-old bean water (coffee) and sitting down in front of him like i was bored.

“Just out, started some fires, couldn’t sleep.” I’d rehearsed this moment a hundred times in my head, none of that prepared me for the worried look in Declan’s eyes.

“You can’t go out alone, Ronan.”

“I think I made it back alive?” I huffed out a sad excuse for a laugh.

Declan shook his head, taking a deep breath. “Don’t go out again. Thornblade’s patrol is only getting stronger. If they find you out by yourself, unsuspecting and unprepared, they’ll easily get ahold of you and I’m not letting that happen.”

The truth that sat in his words made my comeback dissipate in my throat. He really sounded like he cared about me not dying.

Weird.

I didn’t say anything else, I just stood, my coffee mug now empty as I walked over, tossed it into the sink, and made my way to the couch.

I figured I’d just sit down for half an hour while the coffee kicked in.

Except it wasn’t till then I realized how tired I was.

I didn’t even know I fell asleep until Tessa was poking me in the cheek telling me to wake up.

“The fuck?” I muttered, lifting up my head to see her brown eyes watching me.

“He’s not dead!” She announced, replies were a mix of tired groans and one weak ‘boo’ from River.

I sat up quicker than I meant to, making spots appear in my vision but I stood anyways.

That’s when pain happened.

It shot up from my right ankle, all the way up my spine. My right knee buckled and I barely caught myself before I landed on the seven-year-old.

“Nana got up too fast?” She giggled.

I laughed weakly, biting back a wince. “Yep.” Then made my way to the table and slumped down into a chair before anyone could notice.

I got mixed reactions from my state. To some, this was normal and they didn’t care. Max, Skylar, and Declan didn’t buy it, but it seemed like they had decided not to pry.

Good, there was nothing to pry anyways.

~

“We’ll advance in two hours.” Declan concluded, leaning over the map like it wasn’t already engrained in his memory. His decision instantly made the whole room tense. Sure, we’d been working our asses off all week for this job, but going in this quickly seemed like suicide.

“Isn’t that a bit soon?” River asked. “Don’t you think we’re rushing into things?”

Declan shook his head. “We don’t have a choice. The Eternals need him dead as soon as possible. If we catch Thornblade unprepared, we’ll have a better chance of killing him before his guards kill one of us.”

I rested my chin on my arms that were on the table, trying to keep my knee from bouncing as he spoke.

“Everyone gear up.” Declan said finally, then we all started moving.

I guess this was it, then. The time we’ve been waiting for, preparing for. Now it’s the inevitable.

I ran a hand through my hair as I trudged over to the armory crates. Snatched the first bullet-resident vest and handgun before going up the stairs and into my room.

Dressing was a challenge not because I had a lot of clothes—I didn’t—but because it was hard to look at myself without feeling like I needed to puke.

So I worked quickly, getting into the same black tshirt and cargo pants I always wore for missions. I didn’t need some bright spandex suit to be a superhero. 

After getting the vest on, I slipped the handgun into place on my hip, then pulled out the wooden  box stashed under my bed. It clanked as I opened it—filled to the top with knives, lighters, ammo, a few explosives.

I grabbed all that I could before shoving it back under my bed. If things went sideways, I could at least blow something up.

Some assassination isn’t going to take that long anyways.