“So, tell me what happened with you and Wren the other night.” Ezra casually commented as we worked on organizing some shelves in the library.

I had decided to bother him this fine afternoon to cure my boredom. But I was beginning to regret the decision as he roped me into working with him. When he wasn’t busy with his trainee duties, he could be found here, volunteering his time. Which honestly was lame, but he loved reading more than anyone I knew.

However, his straightforward question caught me off guard. Nearly dropping my stack of books, I turned to look at him. “I’m sorry, what?” 

Wren and me? The other night? 

Ezra had a dry humor; it wasn’t like him to pull my leg about something like that. So, whatever he was implying here, I already hated it. 

We looked at each other for a long moment, he wasn’t joking. Something happened that I had no knowledge of.

Ezra looked away with an awkward laugh. “Sorry maybe I shouldn’t have asked, it’s your business not mine. Odeya told me I had to ask, and it felt like a good time to bring it up.” He turned away, clearing his throat. 

I could only look at him incredulously.

“I told her that it would probably make you embarrassed and that she would have an easier time getting information from Wren if she got Wilder to ask instead.” Ezra placed another book from his stack onto the shelf.

“Why would Odeya think there was something between Wren and I in the first place? I am beyond confused where this is coming from.”

Ezra looked like he really didn’t want to tell me. My stare forced it out of him.

He looked like he was crumbling under the pressure. “Last night at the bonfire. You were all over him, he took you back to your room when you were too drunk to function. Everyone assumed that something had happened as Wilder put, and I quote, ‘Wren was as red as a tomato’ end quote.” Ezra looked at me from the side of his eye.

That night began to replay in my head. But the more I thought about it, the more blurred everything was. And the more I tried to think about how I got back to my bedroom, the more I realized I couldn’t remember. 

Then it started to hit me.

A haze of a memory from that night crossed my mind. It was Wren’s face. It was close to mine, his eyes wide and scared. I had joked with Ezra before about how much I wanted to be let into Wren’s little world, how rare it was to see past the shell he wore like armor.

But the thought he felt unsafe with me? Could be scared of me? It twisted my stomach.

No. No. No, not like that.

Wren had always seemed so untouchable. He was quiet, careful, and guarded himself like it was a sacred right. He was the kind of person you protected, not drunkenly stumble over. Oh, Gods what if I ruined the fragile trust he had in me.

Heat scorched up my neck. My eyes snapped up to Ezra, who had now stopped what he was doing to observe my reactions, a single brow up quizzically. “Clay?”

“Oh, my Gods Ezra. What did I do?”

Ezra looked genuinely taken aback, crossing his arms, leaning against the shelf and lowering his voice. “Oh? What did you do?”

I tried to wave the implications I’m sure was already running through his head. “Before you get any ideas, no I don’t think we slept together.” I smoothed my hair back, begging my heart to stop stammering in my chest. “I think I tried to seduce him.” 

The words felt disgusting in my mouth. Like I was confessing something unforgivable. Which it might have well been, I never wanted to pull Wren into my world if he didn’t want it. He had demons that I would never begin to understand.

Ezra hid a laugh behind a fake cough. “Well, at least you didn’t mess up too bad? Maybe you’ll never be able to look at him again, but there are worse things here.”

“Ezra, you don’t understand, the way he looked at me. What if he has the wrong idea of who I am?”

“I’m sure he has some ideas of you.” Ezra turned to begin working again, his voice quieter still, his face thoughtful. 

I sank to the floor and hugged my knees. I couldn’t believe I had done something so terrible to Wren. 

Ezra crouched next to me. “Hey, I only tease you because you can typically handle it. But from the interactions I’ve had with Wren he will probably just forget about this and move on. He’s awkward and shy, but not fragile. I’m sure he’s already forgotten it. Just apologize and I’m sure everything will be just fine.”

“This is going to haunt me forever.” Ezra reached out and ruffled my hair. In a way that shows he understands.

Wren had trusted me just enough that I saw that guard be let down the smallest fraction. I didn’t want him to avoid me. I didn’t want to be the reason he shut people out again. My crush on him was not an excuse to do what I did.

“You care about him a lot, I can see it.” Ezra quietly said. “And I can see you care about his opinion of you more than you care about anyone else’s. You and I have had this talk for at least a year. You are amazing Clay, if there is anyone I know that can make that boy smile, it will be you.”

I didn’t respond. 

That was the problem. 

There was too much power behind who I was in the space I found myself standing with Wren more often lately than before. There was also power behind what I might’ve taken from him without knowing. Which is why I felt incredibly guilty about it.

Maybe Wren did forget about it like Ezra suggested.