He walked forward without wanting to His boots echoed on the bay floor He saw his locker open Helmet hanging Turnout coat half folded Gloves in the pocket He reached out with one hand He could feel the grit on the fabric He could feel every small stain dark with old smoke and sweat He heard doors at the front of the bay open and radios crackle and voices shouting and he turned fast because he knew this call He knew it was the one they did not all come back from

It hit him with no warning Just open pain This is where you failed the voice said You think you are a hero You think you are a protector You could not even keep all of them alive You think you will save anyone in this world You cannot even save your own crew

It hit like a punch to the ribs He dropped to one knee in the vision His breath caught His throat closed He could hear screaming and metal tearing He could smell diesel and burned plastic and blood He saw Ross in the crush of twisted steel His hand reaching out toward Evan Help me Brooks Help me and Evan remembered being pinned by debris unable to move unable to reach shouting I am here I am here Hold on

Corren’s voice cut through from far away Speak truth flameborn How many did you lose

Evan shut his eyes His hands were shaking His chest felt split He wanted to lie He wanted to spit out None Everyone made it He wanted to say what would keep him safe He wanted to protect himself He wanted to hold the pain in and lock it where no one here could touch it

But that was not how he worked That was not how he had ever worked He had never lied on a scene He had never lied on a report He had stood in front of next of kin and said the words straight even when it broke his own throat

His voice came out rough Two He said Two did not make it Ross and Carter Ross went down inside Carter got hit after We tried to pull We tried everything We did not leave them We never leave our own

The pain in his chest sharpened for a second then broke like a wave The bay around him faded The smell of diesel and burned plastic drained out The sound of screaming cut off He was back in the stone room standing in cold water up to his boots His whole body shaking His breath ragged Sweat on his face He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and found them wet

Corren watched him for a long slow moment Then said This pain You carry it

Evan looked up straight at him Of course I carry it They were my people

Corren tilted his head Why do you say my Why not just people

Evan stared at him Because that is what it means to do the job Because you are supposed to come back together You are supposed to cover each other You are supposed to be there You are supposed to pull each other out You do not just let someone go because it is easier You do not get to quit just because it hurts

His voice was too loud now His vision blurred again and cleared He felt anger rise Hot Pure Not wild Just clean like a line No one in this room knew what that felt like No one here knew his people No one here got to talk about them like they were numbers on some report

The pool reacted The surface rippled fast for the first time since he had walked in The whole room hummed low Mara shifted her weight in the shadows Eyes wide The older woman sucked in a breath through her teeth

Corren lifted his other hand Easy he said to the pool Calm

The water stilled again

Corren looked back at Evan He was not smiling His face was serious His voice had dropped from cold to something heavier This is good he said You feel pain You do not run from it You feel guilt You do not drown in it You hold both in your hands and you are still standing This is control

Evan swallowed hard His heart was still racing He felt like he had run a ladder drill with full gear on repeat He said through his teeth Is it over

Almost Corren said One more

Evan braced He clenched his jaw and locked his knees ready for more fire more loss more guilt He expected another memory He expected another pull

This time the pool did not hit him with the past It hit him with future

He saw the academy walls broken He saw banners torn and burning He saw water boiled to steam He saw bodies on the stone Ground trainees Guards Teachers He saw Mara with blood on her face trying to drag someone by the collar He saw Lira on her knees hands out eyes wide and scared surrounded by men in red armor with marks that flickered like flame He saw fire not normal fire something darker black edged tearing through water like a knife He saw the sky above the academy split with red light

The voice came back in his head but this time it was not guilt It was choice You cannot stop this it said You are only one man You cannot be everywhere You cannot carry everyone You cannot save them all You will lose more You will always lose more You can walk away now Before this happens You can refuse to fight This is not your world This is not your problem Let it burn

His stomach twisted He felt sick His legs gave a small shake Not because the voice was wrong but because it was almost right He had thought this He had thought something like this while walking into this place He had thought I do not owe them I did not ask to be here I just want to go home Let them fight their own fights

He could say that He could say I am leaving He could say I am not yours He could say Open whatever gate you have and send me back and I will never speak of you again He could walk away and never see this place fall He could save himself He could stop feeling this endless pull

He could

No

The answer rose in him fast and quiet and firm It surprised even him No He said again louder this time His jaw clenched I am not built that way

The pool pulsed Are you theirs it asked in that no voice Are you ours Are you tide

He shook his head slow Not yet But I will not watch people die if I can stop it I am not walking away Not now Not like that Not while they trust me to stand

The pool went silent The future vision cracked and dropped away like glass falling and shattering He was back again The room The cool air The round walls Mara in the corner arms still crossed but her mouth slightly open The pale haired woman whispering something he could not catch The young man with ink on his arms staring like he had just seen lightning hit ground six feet away

Corren dropped his hand from Evan’s chest The pressure around Evan’s shoulders and throat vanished The cold in his ribs eased His whole body felt weak and buzzing He had to lock his knees to stay up He realized his hands were shaking so hard he could not feel his fingers

Corren stepped back ankle deep in the pool again He looked at Evan not like a weapon now Not like a risk He looked at him like a problem he had not seen before A problem that might become an answer

Corren spoke loud enough for everyone in the room to hear Flameborn he said but not broken Tide touched but not obedient Carries guilt Holds control Holds rage Holds compassion Will not abandon a call Will not abandon wounded Will not abandon strangers

Corren nodded once to himself then turned his head Mara He is placed She straightened Where Hall Master

Corren faced Evan again You will not be caged today He said You will not be drowned today You will be trained

Mara let out a slow breath like she had been holding it Corren continued You will live in lower quarter under watch You will report to Lira for healing drills and to Mara for combat drills You will not leave the inner ring without escort You will not speak to the wellguard You will not approach the royal messengers You will not speak of flame gate crossing to anyone You will answer to me alone Do you accept my terms

Evan was still shaking But he stood up straight and said Yes Hall Master

Corren’s gaze hardened Good Because if you break them I will put you back in Still Water and I will not pull you out again Are we clear

Clear Hall Master