To reach towards the veil and beyond it, you risk contamination an exposure. And that contamination spreads. Even if you were to stop immediately after successfully contacting something of that realm. It begins to eat away at you, but in a most insidous manner. It makes you stronger. It makes you calmer. You are bolstered and you don't really know how or why. But then... like a balloon that springs a leak, you deflate and fall into the depths of darkness. The very darkness and taint that has been progressing.

Why is this?

Imagine your mind, body, and soul as three interconnected pools. Each represents a potential entry point. Each represents a quantity of yourself which you stand to lose. Each represents a body of energy which can be converted. Burned, if you will. And when it is burnt, two things happen: a release of energy and the darkening and collapse of what was burned.

The energy that is released inflates the pool with a hot but less dense energy. It is like... any other emotion that is out of control... if triggers your mind to a higher level of activity and your body to react as if attacked and to prepare to defend itself. Temporarily, illness or pain will abate, strength and focus might improve, or goals and ideas flow freely. These changes are all real, but temporary. Temporary because you cannot actually sustain it. Once the reserves are burnt and there is no more, what was once given that extra power will have to make do without it. So all these things that were additive previously are not subtractive. The mind begins to slow and lock up, the emotions enter into a state of panic, and all hope and energy seems to dissapate. And when sinking down within one's self... one will find that there is no place to land, only greater depth and darkness left over from the burning that arose from the corruption and contamination.

What's The Problem?

The problem is what you think, feel, and do during the time you are bolstered and when you regress and fall below the level of energy you were at originally. Numbness, depression, loss of hope and joy, perceving the world in grays, and/or seeing risk and danger in all things around you. You may have setup schedules and tasks which rely on your elevated working potential, but when that returns to normal and below it, all of those schedules and tasks become burdens that weigh you down. Reinforces the internal idea of failure and hopelessness.  There is a risk of doing harm to yourself. There is a risk of doing harm to others. These darker places also breed resentment. Resentment towards yourself, the world, systems, or individuals. This resentment makes it difficult to get out of this internal depression and hole and back to where you were originally. Part of this being that you may not believe you can get back to where you were originally any more. This can be excasterbated by the actions you may have taken. 

Repair, Rebuild, and Restore

Is there a path to recovery? Yes. Can you be fully recovered? Yes, with caveats.

You can begin recovery, once you have allowed your entire being to restabilize. Allow perhaps isn't the right word. Commit yourself to recovering. To recultivate a mindset that does not default to falling to despair and darkness. This will take time. This will take tremendous effort. This will also require external help from others. There will be times when you cannot see which way is up or down and will wander down when you think you are climbing up. To counter this, you will need connections with other humans. Other people. Not in a energy exchange manner. No. But in a socializing and experiencing life without the crushing darkness. Or to learn that moving out from under the crushing darkness does not in fact result in additional pain and suffering. In many ways, it is like recovery from trauma.

Unfortunately, like trauma, recovery and restoration is an ongoing lifelong process. While you can eventually fully recover... don't expect that to happen completely in your lifetime.