Sir Raven was an important man at The Fourth Prince’s side. He was strong, knowledgeable, and had a way of sparking fear with just his presence.

It was not that he looked very frightening, but more so that he had the ability to make you feel like you were standing in front of a wild animal that could kill you in one move.

This was especially useful to extract information from enemies, and make ‘allies’ obey.

As with everything, The Fourth Prince made sure of absolute loyalty, and for the poor idiots that tried to go against him… Sir Raven was who they would meet.

Until I was tasked to kill him.

After that, dealing with traitors became my job.

“...am I clear?” Sir Raven said. I had not heard what he had told me, too lost in the past and my regrets, and yet, there was only ever one answer I could give.

“Yes, Sir.”

Sir Raven had brought me into his ‘training’ room after he had picked me up from breakfast, and while he hadn’t done anything to me yet, the past kept sneaking up from the depths of my mind, memories trying to choke me. 

Despite my resolve, the fear installed in me so many years ago wasn’t easily lost. My body remembered all too well what it had been put through, standing in the same room, knowing what was to come.

“Good. The Fourth Prince has made it clear. I am to train you from the ground up, and while I have been told clearly to not let you die, you might wish to. Just know that I am as adept in the art of healing as I am in the art of killing, so trying to die will just be even more painful. Am I clear?” Sir Raven spoke slowly and clearly, dragging out his sentences in a pace that demanded you to listen.

Again, there was only one response I could give…

“Yes, Sir.”

I had personal experience with his ‘healing’ and knew I wanted to avoid it at all costs.

“Good. We will start tomorrow. Today, I merely wanted to introduce myself. I look forward to training you.” Sir Raven waved his hand towards the door, but did not tell me to leave.

I saw it for what it was this time.

Another test.

In my previous life, I had been so scared that I ran for the door the moment I was told we were done and punished severely.

It was not up to me to think I was allowed to leave before I had explicit permission to do so.

Sir Raven had chosen his words carefully, I could tell now. It was one of the things I had been trained in. 

He was not saying We will start tomorrow, so you’re free to leave now.

He was not saying Today I merely wanted to introduce myself, so we’re done for the day.

He was not saying I look forward to training you in the future.

His training had already begun, and I would not fail this time.

I did not move towards the door, but merely kept standing where I had been standing since I had been led into the room.

Sir Raven looked at me, his eyes twinkling with something I hadn’t seen before. A smile crept over his face, but it had no warmth, no kindness. It looked cruel and calculated.

He put down his hand, no longer pointing towards the door, and we stood in silence.

He had not asked me anything, so I did not talk.

He had not told me to leave or given me permission to move, so I stood still.

It was a long creeping silence, going by so slowly that I started to be aware of my breathing. It was more ragged than I had expected.

I was scared. The fear started welling up in me despite my best efforts, but I would not let him break me in a way I didn’t want to be broken.

Not this time.

His gaze rested on me, heavy and strangling.

Finally, after what had felt like an eternity, he gave a tiny nod, not to me but himself, and started speaking.

“I am truly looking forward to training you in the future. You’re allowed to leave,” he said, voice deeper and lower than before.

I did not know if me obeying orders had awakened something in him, or if he was disappointed that he could not give me his usual “welcome” because I didn’t leave when I wasn’t allowed to, but either way, I did not like the smile that was still on his face, and I did not like the way he dragged out truly, as if he had found a new favorite toy he couldn’t wait to rip apart.

No matter how eager I was to leave, I could not rush it.

First I gave a “Yes, Sir.” 

Then I bowed to him, slowly, carefully, held it for a few moments, and then left, walking carefully and slowly, out the door.

I did not look forward to tomorrow, nor did I look forward to the training, but as I was now, I would be of no use to anyone.

My mind being trapped in the past was one thing, but my fear trapping me in the present was much more overwhelming than I had anticipated.

And having the mind and body of a child did not help me reign in those emotions.

Children were far too emotional, too impulsive.

I closed the door behind me, and just as I had thought…

Children were far too emotional and impulsive.

Right as the door closed entirely, out from behind a corner came a crying Song and a worried Ballad.

“Are you okay?” Ballad whispered as he ran up to me, looking me over. Song looked like she wanted to say something, too, but couldn’t get any words out from trying to hold in tears, leaving only her mouth opening and closing and more tears streaming down her face.

I gave a curt nod, not wanting to talk. Sir Raven might overhear despite the closed door. It was not safe for them, nor me, to talk so casually here.

However, I could not send them away. I did need to talk to them about what they talked about at breakfast, and now was as good a time as any.

I jerked my head sharply to one side, and started walking in that direction, indicating for them to follow me.

Ballad nodded, and took Song’s hand, following behind me.

We walked for a while, only for me to realize I didn’t know anywhere ‘safe’ we could talk, so I simply just stopped when we had gotten a proper distance away from Sir Raven. Being out in the open was sometimes the easiest way to show you had nothing to hide, rather than going out of your way to find a safe place and look suspicious doing so.

“I’m okay.” I said, not feeling the need to tell them anything else. I did not want to give them information, I needed them to give me information.

“He’s so scary…” Song finally managed to get out, tightening her grip on Ballad’s hand.

“You’re great, Mallis. I peed my pants the first time he talked to me, and was punished with spanking until my pants were dry,” Ballad said, his tone light. He smiled despite the horrible story, but then again, I wasn’t surprised. It sounded like Sir Raven, indeed.

“I cried…” Song confessed, crying, trying to say more, but gave up.

“Song cried the first time she saw him, but he didn’t punish her for it, for some reason…” Ballad explained instead. It was clear on his face that he shortly wondered why, and I couldn’t help but do the same. It was unlike Sir Raven to not punish people for reacting in any way other than with respect.

I shook my head. This wasn’t what I needed to think about.

How could I bring up the subject I so dearly wanted answers to, without making them wary of me?

“So, earlier—” I tried.

“We have a person we—” Ballad said at the same time.

I shut up, indicating for Ballad to go first, but he shut up immediately, seemingly regretting having said anything at all. He looked down at his shoes for a moment. Then he squared his shoulders and looked up at me again with resolve.

“We have a way to help you, maybe… If you want. But it’s dangerous,” Ballad finally said. 

I looked at him, trying to determine where this was going. While I had an inkling, I was afraid I was wrong, but if… if… they really did have a link to Lyric… To The Sixth Prince, then some other things would make sense as well…

Like, how they died in my previous life. If they were his spies, and had been caught trying to recruit people from The Fourth Prince’s camp like they were trying to do with me now, then…

Then it only took one wrong move for them to get killed.

I shortly wondered if The Sixth Prince really would put children in that sort of danger, or if I had misunderstood everything, but thinking back, I had killed a lot of traitors of all ages and backgrounds in my past life.

Maybe I simply wanted to believe that The Sixth Prince wouldn’t do things the same way The Fourth Prince would, but then again…

Who was I to judge?

I had sworn my loyalty to him, come what may.

It was not my job to think.

It was my job to follow orders.

And with that in mind, I told Ballad to tell me everything.