"So we can have any kind of backstory?" Lucy asks, sitting to my right at the dining room table and filling out her character sheet.

"And any race? From this website?" Squid asks, sitting to my left.

"Yes and yes," I say, "What are you thinking Squid?"

"I'ma be a wizard. Obviously."

"And you, Lucy?" I ask.

"Haven't gotten to the class yet. But I'm thinking of being a tiefling. 'To be greeted with stares and whispers, to suffer violence and insult on the street, to see mistrust and fear in every eye: This is the lot of the tiefling.' Sound familiar?"

I show her my middle finger and she just cocks her head to the side and smirks.

"What about you?" Squid asks.

"Me? Oh—I always play cleric. And I am going to be a goblin for my race."

We just nearly finish our character sheets when Squid gets a text from Delilah telling us to head upstairs.

One by one, we take our characters and head upstairs. Lucy enters first, swearing like a sailor. Then Squid, whistling. And finally me. I was expecting something amazing. But this far exceeds that. Laying in the center of my room is a large piece of paper with two islands drawn on it. I knew Delilah could draw, but I had no idea she was such a savant at it. The north and south islands are both near the same size. However, the top island is shaped more like the side view of a brain while the one on the bottom is shaped like a U. She's drawn the roads, mountains, names of different lands, and sea monsters swimming in the oceans surrounding the islands. Delilah is sitting cross-legged at the top right of the map with a cassette in hand. Behind her are bags filled with figurines and dice. Several sketchbooks lay to her right with pencils and erasers lying on top of them.

"Welcome to my campaign," Delilah says, "Please have a seat."

Lucy sits on the left side of the islands, I sit in the middle, and Squid sits on the right.

"Okay, let's introduce our adventurers," Delilah says, "Let's start with Squid."

Squid grabs their character sheet and begins to speak:

"I'm Octopus or Oc for short, the most beloved human wizard of all the realms! I seek to spread positivity and love through all of my adventures and hopefully, one day end all wars."

Noble. Short. A wizard I'd like to have in my party.

"Next is Judas," Delilah says.

Everyone averts their attention to me and I clear my throat.

"I am Ziggs, the goblin cleric. I used to serve under Maglubiyet, a very... angry God. When I saw the opportunity, I ran away, and now I'm seeking the truth and meaning behind life and if a goblin like me can serve a greater purpose."

"That was beautiful," Delilah says, "Lucy."

Lucy wastes no time by screaming, "YO BABY MY LIFE'S ABOUT THREE THINGS BABY! THREE SIMPLE THINGS! GETTIN' MONEY! GETTIN' PUSSY! AND SERVING THE GODS!"

All of us are staring at her. I don't want to laugh because I fear Delilah will scold me so I bite my lower lip.

"Oh, yeah, and I'm a tiefling rogue," Lucy says with casual bliss. And this is where I can't hold it anymore and start laughing. Squid joins me and even though Delilah tries to hide it she smiles a little.

"Okay," Delilah starts, "A tiefling rogue. A goblin cleric. And a human wizard. All seeking something. Some fame and a to make the world a better place. Some a greater purpose and deeper, spiritual, connection with the world around them. And some seeking plain old vanity."

"Fuck yeah!" Lucy says, sticking out her tongue and throwing up the Devil horns with her left hand

"Lucy," Delilah says, shifting her body towards her "What do you, a tiefling rogue, do on the daily?"

"Well let's see. First I'd find a city. Of course, I'd hide in plain site, and I'd listen for whose the richest in town. Once I get that info, I'd rob em' blind and make away with their money and go to the local brothel and get me some pussy."

"So Lucy the tiefling jumps from rooftop to rooftop, until she's onto the house she's going to rob. She examines her options and sees a sleeping guard at the doorway of the house and an open window on the top balcony."

Delilah reaches into a pouch behind her and pulls out an eight-sided die. She hands it to Lucy.

"What do I do with this?" Lucy asks.

"Skill check," I say.

"Since you're a rogue," Delilah explains "Your main skills are dexterity and intelligence. You're gonna roll to evaluate the situation."

"Oh okay," Lucy says, rolling a perfect eight.

"Okay," Delilah says, "You examine your options and see that you can easily climb down into the window or go past the guard. Which way do you wish to proceed?"

"I climb down and kill the guard," Lucy asserts.

I want to say something but stop myself.

"With the nimbleness of a cat," Delilah describes, "You climb down from the roof and land with complete silence beside the sleeping guard. You pull out your dagger and prepare to strike..."

Delilah points at Lucy and she rolls—another perfect eight.

"You cover his mouth to muffle his scream as your dagger enters her chest. Blood jolts out of her heart and coats you and your dagger. Soon her body becomes motionless."

"I search his pockets and make sure no one's looking," Lucy says.

I'm unsure how I feel about this, but I'm glad Lucy's enjoying herself.

"You ease her lifeless body to the ground and check in every direction. No one saw you. You begin to search her pockets and find a sack filled with coins—"

"Yesssss," Lucy hisses.

"And a piece of paper. There's writing on it."

Delilah opens up one of her sketchbooks to a page with a strange symbol drawn in the center of it and words on the bottom of it.

Delilah begins to read the page: "For all who seek what they most desire, come to the Nook Islands to have your hunger quenched."

We continue to how I find the notice for the Crimson Mountains. I end up praying about what's my next step in the wilderness when Lucy stumbles upon me. Since I'm a cleric and charisma is one of my skills, I talk her into telling me what she's up to. She tells me she's going to the Crimson Mountains and I decide to join her. We're about to have Squid join the story when—

Then there's a knock at my door.

"Judas?" My mom's voice says, "The police are here for you."

Everyone's looking at me. Then the door opens and a police officer walks into the room.

"Judas Korver?" The officer asks.

"That's me," I say.

"You're under arrest for making a false bomb threat at Hawkin's High," the officer tells me.

She tells me to stand up and I have no choice but to obey. I put my hands behind my back and she begins to recite me my Miranda Rights. Delilah, Lucy, and Squid all watch in shock and I don't know what to say or do. And when the officer's done cuffing me, she escorts me down the stairs and out of my house. My mom is watching from the living room, her hand over her mouth.

School being canceled today is being pinned on me? I know for sure I didn't call in a bomb threat, so who's responsible for this?

When we get to the police car parked in the driveway, the officer puts me in the back seat and closes the door behind me. I watch as Delilah, Lucy, and Squid pour out of the house and observe me in the back seat of the cruiser.

I then look down at my right pocket and realize my phone is missing. When could that have happened?

Maybe I don't know my friends like I thought I did.