Dread gripped my chest tightly. I didn't want to return to the palace. It wasn't a new feeling, I reluctantly admitted. There had been worse days where I contemplated staying out all night for the sole reason of avoiding Sonjay or my family. Today, however, was a mix. I wanted to avoid Sonjay, the Arranged themselves, and especially my family. I was aware of the fact that they missed me when I didn't attend palace events, but to that I said: Why? Why do they care if I'm present? What purpose do I serve other than to be their son and brother? I've never been important to any royal gathering, and especially not this one.

Sighing, I continued my trek up the hill I was about to ascend. The Colton Palace was placed on a gentle hill overlooking the rest of the capital, an expansive city surrounded by a moderate wall. I could barely make out a distant lake and farm fields beyond the confines of the city. At the base of the hill was a well-guarded gate where all palace bound traffic entered through. Foot traffic was also welcome, but it wasn't nearly as common as carriages.

Looking at the palace, to the left of the hill started a dense forest that crept up well into the hills behind the palace, securing the palace from behind with some walls separating the grounds from the forest. The road climbed the gentle hill and curved away from the forest into the cleared and developed land. The clearing at the base of the palace was well kept with intricate gardens during the seasons and in full bloom at this time in the late spring. Less extravagant gardens lined the edges of the road up to the roundabout at the base of the palace stairs. A fountain with the family crest and flowers filled the center with more gardens around the edges. The palace driveway kept traffic flowing during palace events where carriages could pull up, empty or load, and descend the hill in an orderly manner.

The palace itself was constructed in the shape of large square U. The main doors were centered at the base of the U, with the arms being the left and right wings of the palace. Tall arched windows lined the beige walls to left and right of the main door. I knew walking those front halls was a grand sight, as the sun frequently casted long glowing shadows across the hardwood floors. The palace consisted of two main floors, as well as a small attic and basement. It contained a few hundred rooms of varying purposes, whether it be a bedroom, study, library, lounge, or my personal favorite, the music room, the palace had a room for it somewhere.

I took a moment to stand at the base of the palace stairs. White, but graying with age and use, only a small landing separated the upper and lower staircase, making a slow dramatic ascend. Guards dressed in armor (who typically wore uniforms inside) stood on either side at the base and top. They were likely taking note of my pause and my sigh when I groaned and looked at my feet.

"Are the guests gone yet?" I asked, almost muttering to myself and hoping one of them might answer me.

I sensed they glanced at each other, likely confused for my reaction.

"Not that I'm aware." One responded. "Festivities end around three but knowing the king with these kind of more personal events, it could be longer until guests begin to leave. Is something wrong, Eli?"

I grimaced. "No, I just wanted to avoid them."

"Good luck." He chuckled, glancing at his buddy with an amused smirk. I heard the two chuckle to themselves as I climbed the stairs.

I paused at the landing again. Looking to my left there was the paved walking paths leading to the back of the palace. They were meant for palace staff, specifically the groundskeepers, gardeners, guards, and even small vehicles and horses. I seriously considered taking the back way into the palace. Going in through the literal back of the palace, up the deck and through the doors, meant I would directly pass the main dining room where the guests were currently. I meant the barracks; Where the guards of the palace resided and trained. I was familiar with the area due to my training with Cronin. It would be a lengthy, and complicated, route to my room upstairs though, especially considering I was halfway there by simply continuing straight into the foyer and up the stairs. It was a stupid idea, I concluded, and looked to my right, continuing my procrastination. The hill sloped down, revealing the gardens I had seen from the road, but had a clearer view of the city below. It was mostly made of winding paved streets, sidewalks, and buildings of one, two, sometimes three stories.

Wanting to avoid the festivities today, I left a little bit before the guests arrived to walk around the city. It wasn't the first time I had left the palace unattended but considering hardly anyone recognized me (or didn't care), Cronin wasn't worried about my security anymore. I may have been Dacian's son, but I wasn't nearly as relevant nor as important as his other son. The first few times he had a guard walk with me, but he quickly realized it was drawing more attention than if I were by myself. I hopped from store to store, looking for anything to keep my mind off my troubles. I even dared to visit my favorite music store, the frequents, employees, and owner of which knew who I was as a regular customer.

I also visited a bookstore, despite the redundant nature of it. I lived at the palace: I had access to what was likely the most complete and vast expansion of books in the country. Going to a library was pointless given I could find most anything at the palace. Even so, I could find more current books at libraries and bookstores, something the palace didn't have. But most importantly, I went and bought flowers. Books and music aside, I held the flowers most carefully and closest to me. Literally and figuratively.

My walk continued up the remainder of the stairs, avoiding the cautious gaze of the guards, and into the foyer. The foyer was grand for a reason, as it was the first room guests would see of the palace. It had tall ceilings, wooden walls, hardwood floors that reflected they were so clean, and a grand chandelier hanging in the center of the room that shone so brightly it appeared to be made of gold. The foyer also marked the main areas of the palace: The left, right, and center wings of the first floor, as well as the upstairs. The wings were to my left and right of the foyer, accordingly, with tall arched ceilings and windows lining the front wall of the palace as I had observed upon my approach. Two curved staircases sat in the center of the foyer leading upstairs and guiding the eye to a simple loft that overlooked the center wing. The entrance of the wing was between the stairs and it was crucial in the flow of the palace. The wing housed the major party rooms, such as the dining hall, dining room, the ballroom/throne room, and it was the main path to the back of the palace, exiting to the deck and gardens behind the palace. During the events that hundreds of guests could visit, the flow was simple: Arrival at the roundabout, climb the stairs, and walk straight down the hall. But I was no guest.

Despite the grandeur of the palace and the distance between rooms, it was also quiet. I could hear the distant conversation of the guests in the dining room halfway down the center wing. Wanting to avoid them at all costs, I climbed the stairs quickly, afraid they might be leaving as I arrived. I walked the rest of the way to my room a bit more calmly. It was a bit of a walk through rather straight hallways and rooms, of which I would pass the music room just before I'd reach my room. I skipped it for today and briefly set my shopping items on my bed, not interested in putting things away at the moment. I kept the flowers with me and left back to the foyer.

There were two options. Head down the left wing into the barracks and escape to the back of the palace that way, or a quick walk down the center wing passing one room the guests (and my family) were seated in. While unlikely I would be seen in the short moment I passed the dining room, it was still possible. The center wing was by far the shorter and most direct path, and despite the short window of being seen, it was just enough to make me worry.

I sighed and stepped down the stairs, flowers in hand. Worst case scenario, I had to talk for a few minutes. If I kept the flowers close, it would be obvious I was in the middle of something. The guests and my family would let me go if I made an excuse with them. That being said, it wasn't really an excuse, as I was busy and in the middle of something. I had flowers to deliver to someone!

I hesitated one last time at the base of the stairs, hovering in a step towards the center wing. My eyes rolled at how ridiculous I was being and got on with it. I was sure to walk on the red carpets in the center of most of the halls, as to not ruin the cleaning work of the staff to make the floors so pristine. Tall, arched doorways opened into the major party rooms. My family would use the dining room (which was smaller than the dining hall with one long table rather than many) for dinner. I had never seen its doors closed considering the frequency it was used. Today was no exception and as I approached, I paused for a brief moment to listen.

It was impossible to tell the number of people in the room through overlapping voices alone, but I could tell there had to be at least ten or more, being too loud and overlapping for a cluster of people, but not enough to be a ballroom full. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath, and with a hurried step I crossed by the room, dearly hoping no one had seen me. The short two second window passed, and I found myself on the other side of the door. Quickly glancing over my shoulder as I continued to walk, relief washed over me to avoid being caught.

Or so I had thought.

"Ohh, Eli!" I heard my brother's voice behind me. I flinched and tensed so hard he made a comment about it when he appeared beside me, a firm but supportive hand clapping me on the shoulder. I unintentionally glared at him when he stepped to stand in front of me. He made a face, furrowing his brow. "Don't look at me like that. I'm just saying hi. Why did you flinch?"

"Because I was trying not to be noticed." I said, defeated and bitter. He smirked, amused by his introverted brother with a look in his eyes that almost appeared to be confused, like the concept of avoiding people was foreign to him. "Do you need something? I was in the middle of something." I said, using my flower excuse by presenting them to him with a tight, awkward smile.

He knew immediately what I was up to and made a similar expression. "Ah, yes, that's what you were doing in town. Flowers. Though you were out all morning: What else did you do?"

Clearly, he didn't want to let me go. For what reason, I wasn't sure, but I had to humor him as escape from my brother was nearly impossible, both physically and in conversation.

"Books, music, I looked around some new stores. Just..." He raised an eyebrow, knowing what I was going to say. I sighed. "Avoiding this."

"You can't avoid the Arranged forever. They'll be staying at the palace starting today. Dare I say you may make friends with them, hm? Would that be so bad?"

I grimaced. "Sonjay is the only friend I need." I said plainly, though it wasn't true. I had my queer friends in town that I saw once or twice a month when I could find the excuse to be in town late at night for an extended period. Although now that I had Blake, I didn't need to visit them as much, as I didn't need new experiences. "And Blake, I suppose."

"Give it a shot, Eli." Cronin said, shaking me by the shoulder gently to look at his face. I met his eyes, unamused. He simply smiled.

But it was no Sonjay smile.

I nodded, barely considering it. "Alright," I said, hoping to end the topic faster. "Why are you out here anyway? Shouldn't you be having lunch, networking, or whatever it is that you do?"

He shrugged. "I got up to stretch my legs. I was on my way to the hall when you walked by." I cursed under my breath, knowing it was just my luck. He laughed. "Don't act too upset for talking with your brother! You sure you don't want lunch? There's a place set for you." He started to turn me in the direction of the hall. "I doubt you ate anything in town, and I highly doubt you had breakfast; You didn't join us."

I shrugged my shoulder from his hand, turning around to look at him, our positions now swapped with his back to the dining room rather than mine. He looked me over, confused why I was dodging so much.

"I appreciate what you're trying to do, Cronin," I told him bluntly, "but I don't want to. I know you want me to open up a bit and socialize with the guests or even Sonjay, but I just don't want to. I'd rather be alone right... Now..." I slowed, coming to a realization. I looked down at the flowers in my hand, contemplating what I was about to ask. Could it really hurt...? I met Cronin's eyes. "How much longer do you think the lunch will be?"

He rocked his head. "Uh... It could go on for another hour if we let it. It is three..." He checked his watch. "So, guests may wrap up. But..." He drew out the word, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes. He knew me too well. "I can ask Sonjay to come meet you if you'd like? If he has a reason to be elsewhere, such as with you, he can leave given that the event should be wrapping up right now anyway."

I clenched my jaw much to my brother's amusement. He stepped towards me, our chests inches from each other, his six-foot towering over my measly five seven. He had his hands behind his back, and I knew he was looking down at me with a smug smirk across his face. I rolled my eyes again and looked up at him, hoping to convey to him I wasn't appreciative of what he was going to brag about in a minute.

"Could you..." I hesitated, thinking again if this was what I wanted. I took a breath. "Could you tell Sonjay to meet me on the deck? Tell him I'll wait at most ten minutes, maybe less. And..." His eyes sparked with eagerness. "Thank you, Cronin... For checking in on me. And for asking Sonjay for me. That way I don't have to face the guests..." He was about to take a breath to mock me, I knew it, but I beat him to it when I shoved him in the chest, much to his surprise. I scoffed at him and couldn't help but crack a small smile. "Enough with the mockery, I know you want to do it! Move along before you try my patience too far, alright?"

He smiled and brushed off his uniform. He gave me a firm nod, respecting what I had done. He knew I was going to invite Sonjay to tag along to see my mother's grave, something I didn't typically do. I always went alone. He was also impressed I had thanked him, despite my frustration with him. Thankfully, he didn't say anymore after his nod, turning on his heel and stepping back into the dining room. I breathed a sigh of relief, a weight off my chest. Hopefully this wouldn't be a mistake...