The walk felt much faster since the atmosphere between us had become more relaxed. The nerves of speaking to our mothers had been dealt with and I had gotten what I needed to off my chest. Now the only nerves I had would be sitting alone with Sonjay. I had no doubt there would be frequent awkward pauses and long silences between us. I hadn't even considered what we'd talk about. Another pang of guilt struck me when I realized there had never been awkward pauses between us before. Another changed thing between us at my hand, I sighed to myself.

The bench was hanging from one of the larger trees within the palace grounds. It was large enough to seat us both but with little extra space. The cushions along the back and arms made it quite the cozy reading spot. I would frequently bring a book here and read if I needed some time to quiet my thoughts. The ground was dirt and well matted from use, although lumpy from tree roots. Sonjay took the seat that would be to my left. He plopped down resting his hands on his dangling knees with an encouraging smile on his face. I playfully rolled my eyes at him, taking the seat to his right.

I nervously crossed my ankles and hoped my nerves weren't too obvious when I began to wipe my sweaty palms on my thighs. That was, until I noticed grass stuck to my nice dress pants. I frowned softly, much to his amusement. He lifted his legs out straight to better see his knees, grimacing but chuckling at the similar stains on his nice pants.

"We were never quite the aristocrat type, were we?" He joked, lowering his knees. He looked at me, smirking. "Didn't we use to go out and play in the mud when we were way younger?"

"I remember you played in the mud. I hate mud, I never joined you in that activity. But I do remember us getting colds being in the rain that created said mud. Our parents were so pissed." I laughed.

He laughed with me. "My father was so angry, but also so amused. His son, the prince, the heir to the country, playing in the dirt? Ohh, he must have been so proud of me for defying the system, but just as angry for the same reason." He snickered.

"I can imagine our father's had quite the laugh once they realized their sons were out doing such stupid things. My mother, on the other hand, was equally pissed and concerned since I got sick because of it."

"Heh, yeah... I'm sure my mother would have reacted the same way."

Sonjay's tone took a slightly darker tone with the statement. It made me frown some. I hated seeing my best friend upset, but I also knew how rarely he was upset and what it meant to his mental state if he was talking about it. I knew Sonjay to be extremely hidden about any emotion or thought he deemed negative. In fact, if his own feelings caused someone else anything but joy, he would frequently keep it to himself, even if it hurt him. He didn't talk about his negative feelings because they would upset someone if he did. Especially me. So when he talked about them, he wasn't feeling like himself and was buried deep in his emotions, finally reaching a breaking point where they needed to be said.

I knew Sonjay would keep a lot of his true emotions from me for the sole reason that he didn't want to upset me. He knew I already had so much negativity on my shoulders he didn't want to be another source. What he failed to realize was that his negativity was healthy. Sharing it, especially with me, was good for both of us. That way I knew how he felt, and he would know I would always be there for him.

He needed to know his feelings, all of them, were important to me too. I hadn't been there for him during my teenage years. It was something I needed to make up for so I could eventually forgive myself. I regretted it so deeply not only because I hurt him, but because he had so few people he could talk on a deeper level with. Dacian and Cronin were like an uncle and cousin to him, but neither of them were very good with emotions. He always had his father to talk to, and I knew the two were extremely close, but there were some things you wanted to talk to a friend about, not a parent. Regardless, their bond ran deep considering they were the only two Colton's currently alive. They had only ever had each other.

I didn't know the specifics of the story, but Simon's father was King Edgar who married Queen Mabel. Edgar was a decent king, but he was by no means as beloved as Simon would become. Edgar fell very ill and died at an age that left Simon to be coronated a bit too young. His responsibilities as king were thrust upon him when he was only twenty-two, making him the youngest king in Whitebridge history. Sonjay was currently twenty-two and would be twenty-three next month. As an example, the thought that Sonjay, at his age, would have the responsibilities that Simon currently had, was mind-boggling.

After Edgar's death, Mabel shunned her responsibilities as queen, claiming she was only royalty because of Edgar. She would have taken over her husband's responsibilities until Simon was of age if she had stuck around. With Edgar gone, she had no reason to. Not even for her son. It should have been a shock she abandoned Simon like that, but according to him he had very little reason to grieve either of them, as neither of them had been present in his life. He had a strictly business relationship with his parents and was raised by the palace staff. When he was coronated, he relied heavily on his advisors and wife, Sonjay's mother, Rachel, for emotional support. Nearly a year later he met my father, and soon he had a best friend to console in as well.

The loss of Simon's wife, Whitebridge's queen, and Sonjay's mother, was devastating to say the least. Almost twenty-three years ago Simon and Rachel had their son. It had been a momentous day, as the birth day of the next heir to the throne always was. Unfortunately, it also marked the day the kingdom lost it's queen. Birth complications claimed the life of Rachel hours after she had given birth to Sonjay. Therefore because of Simon's history, Sonjay was all Simon had, and vise versa. Their bond ran deep because to each other, they were the only biological family they had left.

Much like Mabel, Rachel's family didn't stick around much either. In fact, from what little I knew from Sonjay and Simon, Rachel's family hadn't wanted Rachel to date Simon and be the future queen in the first place. For her to die serving the kingdom by birthing its heir... Well, no wonder they wanted nothing to do with Sonjay.

I was no wonder Sonjay's relationship with his mother was so complicated. He never had the chance to meet her. In his eyes, he killed her. He was the reason his father was forced to grieve her. The most heartbreaking detail I knew was that, deep down, he felt his father resented him for it, but he knew as well as I did that none of it was true. Sonjay knew better than anyone else Simon loved him deeply as the only family he ever had. Simon swore to be the best father he could to Sonjay considering his own hadn't been. Although the Ancestors forced him to choose Sonjay over his wife, he would never change the outcome. While having the two together would be his deepest wish, he had Sonjay, a future that he looked forward to every day.

Unfortunately, emotions were complicated, and feelings ran deep. Simon could tell Sonjay a million times he wouldn't change a thing, and Sonjay would still feel guilty. It was the hardest for him to accept when he was younger and learned the truth about why his mother was absent. As he grew up, he began to accept it, but he would always harbor guilt. I knew I would too in his shoes.

"Listen, Sonjay..." I started softly. He looked to my curiously. We had been silent for several minutes and with my thoughts running rampant, my own guilt had become too much. "I'm sorry I made you come to the graveyard on a day like today. Today was already stressful for you with the Arranged and I forced you to visit feelings I know you don't enjoy. I should have done more with you on Saturday and Sunday..."

I was taken aback slightly when I felt his hand rest on top of mine. I looked at our hands on the bench and felt blood filling my cheeks. When he spoke, I met his eyes. There was nothing but care in them.

"Please don't apologize." He said. "While visiting the grave a loved one isn't always the sunniest of ideas, it still made me happy to talk with my mother. Yes, the Arranged is very stressful on me right now, but you know what makes it less stressful? Taking it one step at a time with breaks in between. Being with you, and even talking about it with her, is exactly the type of break I needed right now."

"You always know just what to say to cheer me up." I laughed breathlessly. He gave a sympathetic smile when I wiped a few tears with the heel of my hand. "Thank you for your kind words, Sonjay, and I know they're the truth too. Thank you for being so... You."

"Anytime. Things may be a bit busier for me now, but I always have time for you."

"If that's the case," he looked alarmed when I stood up and faced him, jostling him in the bench as I did so. I grinned at him. "I am feeling better today than this weekend; 'Waddya say about another go at painting? Last I remember you were teaching me how to paint water."

His eyes sparked with excitement. Clearly, he hadn't been expecting me to ask such a request of him. His smile was bright, brighter than I had seen in a long while.