I am not broken

Okay, in an overall sort of way, perhaps that's a lie. There's been a lot of things to break me. But I am not BROKEN because I don't approach any relationship with the asessment of whether I do or don't want to fuck them. I don't approach anything feeling that way!!!

(Let's forget trying to figure out whether I am a neutral, repelled, or positive type when it comes to you-know-what; I'll get to that self-reflective crap later)

Why does sexual drive and the desire to fuck need to dictate every single human reaction I ever have? Why can't I admit to some type of crush on a woman and that all of my blushing actually counts for something even if I don't have the inherent feel to smash with her? Or that platonic love with a guy friend can be so deep that I actually feel fulfilled for the first time in my life?

Why can't I want without inherently wanting in the same way?