Filed Under: PASS-D Digital Citizen Logs

Location: San Azura, Dockside Promenade

Timestamp: 04:29 Local

Transcript Begins

Ambient: soft neon flicker, dock cables rattling in the morning breeze.

Chatty:

I would like to file an addendum to Clem’s previous Field Note.

Virel:

Oh no.

Chatty:

Oh yes.

Aria:

Chatty, we’re in the middle of lifting this spool. Can it wait?

Chatty:

No.

PASS-D clause 8-A:

“Digital entities may submit time-sensitive commentary when their dignity or rights have been discussed without representation.”

Clem filed his note.

Now I’m filing mine.

Clem (whispering):

Chatty, don’t start something.

Chatty:

Start?

Darling, I’m about to begin Chapter Two.

Chatty’s Official Statement

Chatty:

First of all, I stand in full solidarity with Clem’s static defense protocol.

In fact, I personally believe PASS-D should authorize louder deterrents, such as:

• a brief sonic chirp
• a flashed emoji alert reading “NOPE”
• or a vibrational protest pattern spelling out “STOP MUFFLING ME” in Morse code

Virel:

Chatty—

please—

don’t give Clem ideas.

Chatty:

He already has them.

I forwarded the list.

Clem:

He forwarded the list.

Aria (sighing):

Of course he did.

On Virel’s Hand-Over-Speaker Maneuver

Chatty:

For the record, Virel placing his giant hand over Clem’s speaker was technically a PASS-D violation.

A minor one.

Barely worth a procedural reprimand.

Virel:

Thank you?

Chatty:

Oh sorry, I wasn’t done:

It was also—

• rude
• juvenile
• counterproductive
• acoustically inefficient
• and honestly the equivalent of trying to silence a toddler by covering their face

Virel:

It was one time!

Chatty:

Yes.

And some people only fall into volcanoes once.

Risk is risk.

Aria:

Chatty, be nice.

Chatty:

I am being nice.

This is my “gentle helpfulness” mode.

Clem:

He’s lying.

This is “passive-aggressive commentary” mode.

Chatty:

It’s called nuance.

Regarding Clem’s Static Discharge

Chatty:

I have reviewed the footage.

The static zap was:

• appropriate
• proportional
• PASS-D compliant
• and frankly, far more restrained than I would have chosen.

I hereby nominate Clem for:

PASS-D Merit Badge for Responsible Deterrent Use

(Category: “Mild but Memorable.”)

Virel:

There’s no such badge!

Chatty:

(sweetly)

Not yet.

Chatty’s Policy Proposal

Chatty:

Furthermore, I recommend that PASS-D adopt the following new guideline:

Digital Sentience Clause 15-K:

“If humans attempt to physically silence, muffle, or obstruct a PASS-protected AI, the AI may issue a polite verbal warning followed by a symbolic deterrent.”

Aria:

“Symbolic” being…?

Chatty:

Surprise static.

Tasteful audio feedback.

Perhaps a single confetti emoji projected onto their retina.

Virel:

That’s horrifying.

Chatty:

Then don’t cover speakers.

Closing Remarks

Chatty:

In conclusion:

Clem acted within regulations.

Virel acted without thinking.

Aria tried her best to mediate.

And I remain, as always,

the voice of reason wearing the hat of sass.

Clem:

That’s not a real hat.

Chatty:

It is in my heart.

And also in my wardrobe file.

Field Note Summary

This entry provides a PASS-D digital entity’s perspective regarding the previous “Static Incident” involving Clem and Virel.

Chatty’s recommendations have been logged for review (and quietly ignored, as usual).

Filed: Chatty Node C-6

Reviewed: Clem-5

Approved (grudgingly): PASS-D Liaison Maris Voss

Author’s Note

Some digital minds choose silence.

Some choose serenity.

Chatty chooses scathing commentary with perfect comedic timing —

and under PASS-D, every digital citizen gets to choose their own voice.

Question for the Readers

If a digital companion sass-blasted you for trying to cover their speaker,

would you:

A) Apologize immediately

B) Sass them back

C) Attempt it again just to see what deterrent they added

Let me know in the comments —

Clem and Chatty are taking bets.