There is a waving blue light ahead. It flickers like fire. Swaying.

I can't reach it. I try so hard to reach it but no matter how fast or far I run it is always just out of reach. I need to reach it, but why? It calls to me but won't let me go near.

Will it burn? Will it be cold? The desire to know is so overwhelming.

Oh? I think I can reach it this time. I'm so close...I'm almost there...

"Oomph!" Something heavy and warm lands on my stomach and I blearily blink my eyes open. Mabel is making herself cozy on my stomach. She flicks her tail casually and licks a paw all the while staring like a creep. I glare at her and then push her off.

I sit up and move my legs to the side of the bed. Some light filters in through the heavy curtains. It must be morning then. That dream though, I've had it for the second night in a row. I feel soft fur brush against me and peer down at Mabel trying to make amends. I sigh and smile a little. I scoop her back up and bury my face into her fur a moment.

"It's my birthday today, Mabel, but...I honestly don't feel like celebrating all that much."

I've been in kind of a zombie daze since Thursday. I have also avoided the third floor, which unfortunately means I haven't seen Jo at all. She's sent me a few texts but she hasn't stopped by either. I think she felt I needed space, which is true but I mostly wanted to distance myself from Felix. Thinking about him and the death of Mrs. Cunningham, I am so conflicted.

I feel tears prick my eyes involuntarily and I squeeze Mabel maybe a bit too tightly as she begins to wiggle in annoyance. I choke out a halfhearted laugh and let her go. "Sorry..." I mumble before I fall back on my bed. I watch the fan spin in slow gyrations for I don't know how long. I must have fell asleep because my door being banged open sends a jolt through my spine and I fall out of bed.

"Christ! What the heck?" I rub my bleary, hazel eyes and see a tall woman standing over me. At first I think it is my mother, but the pink mixed with blonde makes me reconsider that conclusion. "Joanna?"

"Get up, you lazy bum! It's nearly eleven on the glorious day of your birth." She places her fists on her hips like a superhero.

"Ugh..." My comforter went along with me so I use it to curl up in on the floor. I really don't feel like dealing with this. "Go away, let me wallow and sulk." Just let me be a blob on the floor for the whole day.

"Nope! Not going to happen, kid. I am not going to let you become an angst-y teenager on your birthday." I feel her grip one edge of my comforter and start to tug. I grip it myself and try to keep her from doing it. Unfortunately, I realize she is stronger than me. It takes her but a minute to remove it and leave me bare on the floor. I shiver and curl up, with my arms wrapped around my middle.

I peer up at her with my most pathetic kicked-puppy face. I see her falter a moment, but she does have a strong will. "That's not going to work on me this time, bub. Let's go." She starts to lift me up to my feet and I kind of let her, though I don't make it easy.

"Where even?" I mumble out as I stand there like a wobbly tree trunk. She rummages about my room. I think she is actually picking out clothes for me. What the hell? "What are you doing?"

"What do you think? You can not go out in the world in those." She motions to my pajamas. I frown and look down at myself. They are a matching set I got last Christmas with chonky pugs all over them. I like them and they are very comfortable. Normally I'd wear random shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in, but I kind of need to do laundry and truthfully, these PJs are just perfect for wallowing in despair. Look at those adorably round pugs and you feel a whole lot better.

"Wait, why are we going out in the world? I don't really..."

"It is not up for discussion, birthday boy. We are going to have a little fun today and you can't complain." She pulls out a pair of jeans and hands them to me.

"Okay." I kind of hold them as she continues to rummage about. She's looking at some shirts when she notices me just standing there.

"What are you doing? Put those on," she says in a very authoritative tone leaving no room for discussion. I feel my cheeks grow just an tiny bit warm while I remove my PJ bottoms and begin to stuff my scrawny butt into this pair of faded jeans. I am rather glad I already had on a pair of boxer briefs. I pause though before zipping and buttoning.

"Uh, Jo, I feel like maybe I should take a shower first, right?"

She pauses and wanders up real close to me. She sniffs me as I give her a look of utter confusion. Joanna stands back and shrugs. "You smell perfectly fine to me. Besides, no time to waste!"

"Right, weirdo," I say with a bit of an awkward chuckle and shake my head. Eventually I get dress in a simple olive green and white-striped shirt followed by my old Converse. A quick brush of both hair and teeth then Jo is practically pushing me out my apartment door. I don't even see my mom and wonder if she's still sleeping. But then who let Joanna in?

We are on the subway when I panic and pat my pockets rather frantically. "Shit, Jo, I think I left my inhaler!"

Joanna blinks then laughs. "Not to worry!" She suddenly reaches into her purse and whips out the very thing. She hands it to me and I take it rather suspiciously before tucking it into my front pocket.

"Thanks, I guess...Where are we going anyway? You haven't said."

"It's a secret!" She says with a grin and swings around a pole like a giddy stripper. She pauses when she sees the annoyed look I am giving her. "Alright, alright. We are headed downtown to have some fun is all. Get some coffee, maybe do a little shopping, see a movie or something. Whatever you like, short-stop"

I still feel strangely suspicious of her but I'm not sure why or what she could be hiding. Getting me out of the apartment to do whatever I like? I really hope this isn't to distract me long enough for some kind of surprise party. Oh god, it probably is. I sigh but smile and nod my agreement.

---

It's a little pass 5pm when we step out of the subway entrance and begin the trek back to the Avalon. The day was actually really nice despite what ulterior motives there might be. I feel a little lighter. At least it let me forget for a while all the horrible things that have happened recently. We did relatively do all the things she said plus we got lunch before the movie, some new Melissa McKathy comedy. It was entertaining. Though someone behind us kept speaking rudely almost through the whole thing. It wasn't very loud but it had been distracting.

Weird thing though, I mentioned it to Joanna afterwards and she said she didn't remember that. Maybe she has selective hearing?

I only had to use my inhaler once and though I will seriously need to bathe in sanitizer after using that last horrific restroom, I overall had a good time. We discuss the movie again and other topics of our little outing as we take the elevator to my floor.

"Thank you, Joanna," I say as we round the hallway corner and my apartment door comes into view. "I think I really needed that."

She smiles warmly and throws her arm around my shoulder. "No problem, Collie. I think it was good for both of us. Happy birthday!" She says the last bit quite loudly like she's announcing it.

"Uh, okay...Thanks." I glance at her with a questioning and concerned eyebrow raise just as we come to the door and I fish out the key. "Want some tea or something?"

"Sure!" She says far too enthusiastically.

Wait a minute.

I open the door and hear a whisper of something.

Got to be quiet. Got to be quiet. This is sort of thrilling.