Chapter VIII

MILO - 1938

Lukas did eventually warm up to me. Once he saw my interest in his records, he set aside his initial hostility and was eager to share more of his collection. With a keen twinkle in his eye, he scoured the book shelf until he found what he was looking for and slid the record out.  

“There,” Lukas said, as he put the gramophone’s needle down after he’d set the record on it. “Let’s see how you like this one.”

The music began — a jaunty tune by Cab Calloway — and I tapped my foot to the beat. Lukas sat back down with Salomé, as the cat jumped up on the couch too, begging for pets which Salomé obliged to. Thor’s pleasant moment was short-lived though, for he scrambled away instantly at the sound of a knock coming from the foyer. It was the same secret knock that Leah had rapped out earlier. 

Lukas stood from his seat. “That’s probably Hans and Heinrich,” he said.

And that was when I formally met the rest of the “Swing Guys”. When Lukas returned from the foyer with the two boys, I recognized them as the two who ate lunch with him  every day, and of course, from Hitlerjugend. Over the past few weeks, I had seen that they were bullied by the troop just about as much as Lukas was bullied at school. If Anton thought I was a weichei, those two were considered the very bottom of the barrel.

Hans, the tall boy, was too nice for his own good, and Heinrich was quiet and overweight, which meant he was mocked incessantly during any type of physical activity. I tried to stay out of the bullying, but I figure standing there and watching is just as bad. And as much as I hate to admit it, part of me was relieved that I wasn’t the one being picked on anymore. Needless to say, I felt ashamed of myself, thinking about my inaction as I watched Hans and Heinrich take a seat next to Leah.

I hoped that neither of them would notice me, but of course that wasn’t how it happened. Heinrich pointed me out almost immediately. 

“Hey, who’s this?” he asked.

Hans smiled. It was genuine, but there was a bit of nervousness behind it. “You’re the new kid from Reutlingen, aren't you?”

At this, a flash of recognition came over Heinrich’s face, and he twiddled his fingers. “Ah, yes … you’re friends with Anton …” 

I cringed and shook my head a bit. “Anton’s not really my friend,” I said. “He just made me eat lunch with him when I didn’t have anywhere else to go…” 

Everyone fell silent as the song we listened to filled the room. The moment allowed for my guilt to overtake me, and I began to sweat.

“Lukas,” I uttered when I could no longer take it, “I’m sorry I just sat there and did nothing while Anton and the others said all those awful things about you.”

He glanced up from Thor, who was now sitting curled up in his lap, and shrugged. “It’s fine.”

I shook my head. “No, it isn’t. It was wrong, I knew it, and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m just … a coward.” I let the words fall off my tongue, and for some reason, I felt relief in admitting it. 

The look on Lukas’s face softened, but he didn’t say anything. He only continued to pet the cat. 

“In fact,” I blurted to fill the silence, “I’ll stop hanging out with Anton altogether.” 

“Yeah,” Hans said, his friendly smile widening, “ you could join us at lunch instead. We’re more fun anyways.” 

“Now, hold on just a minute.” Lukas frowned in thought. “Let’s not make any rash decisions.”

Salomé turned to him. “What do you mean?” she asked, stealing the words out of my mouth. Everyone else stared at him, too, seemingly wondering the same thing. 

“Having someone on the inside of Anton’s clique might be a good thing,” Lukas explained. “Then we could know ahead of time if he has any dirt on us.”

“Dirt?” I parroted curiously. 

Heinrich continued to fidget. “Anton and the others are always trying to find ways to get us in trouble.” 

“So…” I said, finally understanding what Lukas had been trying to get at, “you want me to pretend to be friends with Anton so I can … spy on him?”

Leah scoffed and rolled her eyes. “It’s alright, Milo,” she said. “You don’t have to do that. Especially if being around Anton makes you uncomfortable.”

Lukas gave her an annoyed look and she returned it. I glanced back and forth between the two of them, pondering on what I should do. On the one hand, Anton did make me uncomfortable. He was domineering and superficial, being around him made me physically exhausted, and every time I saw him and Arnold I always thought about how they’d treated me when we first met. Their threats, taunts, and the white hot anger I began to feel about what they’d said about my art.

On the other hand though, I could see how pretending to remain  Anton’s “friend” might help out the people he targeted. So far, I had done nothing to help them, despite how I felt, and that really was no better than if I had joined in the harassment myself. Now I had the opportunity to do something. It was time for me to step up and learn how to not be cowardly. 

“I’ll do it,” I said.

Leah was taken aback. “What?”

I shrugged. “Well, Anton is only pretending to be my friend for the time being … probably because he thinks I’m a boot-licker and he needs an army of those to follow him around. Why shouldn’t I turn the tables around a little bit?”

“See,” Lukas said, sporting a sly grin, “Milo gets it. That’s just Anton’s  way. He tried the same thing with me when I first started at the school last year.”

“Really?”

Lukas nodded slowly. “Until he found out I was half Jewish and then got me kicked out of Hitlerjugend and tried to get me kicked out of the school.” He paused to laugh and light a new cigarette. “Anton didn’t know who my father was then, though … sometimes it does pay off that he’s an Oberführer in the SS.”

“Then Lukas was lucky to find us,” Hans said, “the rest of the delinquents.”

Heinrich uttered an exasperated grunt and folded his arms. “Speak for yourself. I’m not a delinquent.” 

Hans and the others just laughed at him — well, except for Leah. She was busy giving me a worried look.

“Milo, are you sure about this?” she asked. “I wanted you to join our group out of love for the music.” She glared pointedly at Lukas. “Not to get you caught up in some drama with Anton.” 

“It’s alright. I promise.”

“Welcome to the group then,” Lukas announced as he stood up from the couch. He walked over to me and clapped his hand onto my shoulder. “Now you’re a delinquent too!”