Chapter IX

MILO

1938

Lukas did warm up to me that day. Once he saw my interest in his records, he set his hostility aside and was eager to share more of his collection. With a keen twinkle in his eye, he scoured the bookshelf until he found what he was looking for and slid the record out.  

“There,” he said as he set the record on the turntable and placed the needle down. “Let’s see how you like this one.”

Static crackled, and then the music began—a jaunty tune by Cab Calloway—and I tapped my foot to the beat. Lukas sat back with Salomé, as the cat jumped up on the couch, begging for pets which she obliged to. Thor’s pleasant moment was short-lived, though, for he scrambled away the instant there was a knock from the foyer. It was the same secret knock Leah rapped out earlier. 

Lukas stood from his seat. “That’s probably Hans and Heinrich,” he said.

And that was when I formally met the rest of the “Swing Guys”. When Lukas returned from the foyer  with the two boys, I recognized them as the  ones who ate lunch with him every day, and of course, from Hitlerjugend. Over the past few weeks, I’d seen that they were bullied by the troop as much as Lukas was bullied at school. If Anton thought I was a Weichei, those two were considered the bottom of the barrel.

Hans, the tall boy, was too nice for his own good, and Heinrich was quiet and over-weight, which meant he was a constant target during any type of physical activity. I tried to stay out of the bullying, but standing there and watching was awful enough. And as much as I hated to admit it, part of me was relieved I wasn’t the one being picked on anymore. 

Shame filled me as Hans and Heinrich took a seat next to Leah. I hoped neither of them would notice me, but of course that wasn’t how it happened. Heinrich pointed me out immediately. 

“Hey, who’s this?” he asked.

Hans smiled nervously. “You’re the new kid from Reutlingen, aren't you?”

At this, recognition came over Heinrich’s face, and he twiddled his fingers. “Ah, yes…you’re friends with Anton…” 

“Anton’s not really my friend,” I said. “He just made me eat lunch with him when I didn’t have anywhere else to go…” 

Everyone fell silent, and the Cab Calloway song filled the room. The moment allowed my guilt to overtake me, and I began to sweat.

“Lukas,” I blurted when I could no longer take it, “I’m sorry I did nothing while Anton and the others said all those awful things about you.”

He glanced up from Thor, who was now curled up in his lap, and shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. It was wrong, I knew it, and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m…just a coward.” I let the words fall off my tongue and felt relief in admitting it. 

His expression softened, but he said nothing as he continued to pet the cat. 

“In fact,” I went on, “I’ll stop hanging out with Anton altogether.” 

“Yeah,” Hans said, his friendly smile growing, “you could join us at lunch. We’re more fun than them anyways.” 

“Now, hold on just a minute.” Lukas frowned in thought. “Let’s not make any rash decisions.”

“What are you talking about?” Salomé asked, stealing the words from my mouth. Everyone else stared at him, too. 

“Having someone on the inside of Anton’s clique could be a good thing,” Lukas explained. “Then we might know ahead of time if he has any dirt on us.”

“Dirt?” I parroted curiously. 

Heinrich continued to fidget. “Anton and the others are always trying to find ways to get us in trouble.” 

“So…” Finally I understood what Lukas was getting at. “You want me to pretend to be friends with Anton so I can…spy on him?”

“It’s alright, Milo,” Leah interjected. “You don’t have to do that. Especially if Anton makes you uncomfortable.”

Lukas gave her an annoyed look and she returned it. I glanced between them, pondering what I should do. On the one hand, Anton did make me uncomfortable. He was domineering and superficial, being around him made me physically exhausted, and every time I saw him and Arnold I recalled how they treated me when we first met. Their threats, taunts, and the white hot anger I felt over what they’d said about my art.

On the other hand though, I could see how remaining Anton’s “friend” might help the people he targeted. So far, I’d done nothing, despite how I felt, and that was no better than if I’d joined in the harassment myself. Now I had the opportunity to do the right thing. It was time for me to step up and overcome my cowardice. 

“I’ll do it,” I said.

Leah was taken aback. “What?” 

“Well, Anton is only pretending to be my friend for the time being…” I shrugged “…probably because he thinks I’m a boot-licker and he needs an army of those to follow him around. Why shouldn’t I turn the tables around a little bit?”

“See, Milo gets it,” Lukas said, grinning slyly. “That’s just Anton’s way. He tried the same thing with me when I first started at the school last year.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Until he found out I was half Jewish and then got me kicked out of Hitlerjugend and tried to get me kicked out of the school.” Lukas paused to laugh and light a new cigarette. “Anton didn’t know who my father was then, though…sometimes it does pay off that he’s an Oberführer in the SS.”

“Then Lukas was lucky to find us,” Hans said, “the rest of the delinquents.”

Heinrich uttered an exasperated grunt and folded his arms. “Speak for yourself. I’m not a delinquent.” 

Hans and the others laughed at him—except for Leah. She was too busy giving me a worried look.

“Milo, are you sure about this?” she asked. “I wanted you to join our group out of love for the music.” She glared pointedly at Lukas. “Not to get you caught up in some drama with Anton.” 

“It’s alright. I promise.”

“Welcome to the group then,” Lukas announced as he stood up from the couch. He stepped over to me and clapped his hand onto my shoulder. “Now you’re a delinquent too!”