If I let go you could hold me 

Suspended 

Between sky and sea 

Silence stretched out between the four of them until a manager started signaling for Nox and Kaspar to get the line moving again. Nox looked genuinely hurt at Dae’s confusion, which only served to worsen said confusion. 

Kaspar was the first to act. He reached over to flip Dae’s poster and scribble something on the back. As Nox stared at Dae sadly, Kaspar shoved the poster into Dae’s hand and held a finger up in a shushing motion. 

Tessa led a shell-shocked Dae out of the venue and into the parking lot. As they approached her car she whirled to face Dae. Dae, head still spinning, crashed into her and nearly knocked his glasses off. Tessa grabbed his shoulders and shook him. 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU KNEW NOX!” 

“I DIDN’T KNOW!” 

Tessa chewed on her thumbnail and furrowed her eyebrows, “How could you forget someone that hot?” 

“Trust me,” Dae sighed, “I’m asking myself the same thing.” 

Suddenly remembering the poster, Dae pulled it out of his bag and unrolled it to read what Kaspar wrote. It was a phone number, Nox’s if Dae had to guess, as well as a message reading “Share this and ur dead.” 

Tessa peeked over the top of the poster and gasped in shock. Dae shared her sentiment. 

Clear thoughts shaped like a dream 

Never a restful night 

It hurts to know you’ll never really need me 

Both the line and the kite 

“Ok, Explain!” Kaspar flopped onto his and Nox’s shared hotel bed wearing nothing but a robe. Nox pressed against Kaspar’s warm skin and twined his fingers through Kaspar’s. It was becoming clear that Kaspar’s insistence on Nox showering first was less altruism and more a preventative measure to keep him from falling asleep before Nox was done. 

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Nox sighed and rolled over, looping his arm over Kaspar’s waist, “He was like a mentor to my sister. We hung out during her competitions. I guess I just didn’t make a lasting impression.” 

Nox knew how mopey he sounded. Had he been with anyone but Kaspar he would have refused to divulge even this much. It stung that the man who triggered Nox’s gay awakening was attentive enough to compile his dance highlights. While simultaneously being so unaffected by their time together that he never made the connection. 

“Ok, like no offense, but how could he not remember you. You’re like,” Kaspar lifted his head and gestured to Nox’s face. A face filled with piercings framed by stark white hair, “You’re pretty hard to mis- WAIT!”

Kaspar shot up, forcing Nox up with him, “Was this before you went alt?” 

“Fuuuuuuuuuck,” Nox buried his face in his hands as understanding washed over him. 

The alternative style was much more his sister Nell’s thing than his. The whole group was her idea in the first place. People could say he had a sister complex all they wanted. When your little sister battling childhood cancer asks for a boyband, you make the damn boyband. 

Dae’s presence in Nell’s-- and by association Nox’s --life fell solidly in the beginning of Nell’s treatment. Back then Nox dressed like any other reserved bookworm. His closet was filled with plain clothes and oversized cardigans. His hair was long to match Nell’s and cover his face. He even wore glasses to further separate himself from the public's gaze. 

All that went out the window when he started Sanguine. He adopted Nell’s second favorite style and perfected his fake confidence. Dae had only ever known him as who he’d been before, or at least he would have until Nox forced the connection at the signing. Nox hoped his words helped draw the line connecting the Nox of back then with the Nox of today. Especially since he seemed more quite interested in Nox’s persona. A fact that only stung a little. 

“I think he only ever called me by my last name.” Nox sighed as he fiddled with his hands resting in his lap. 

“I bet he thought you were a girl,” Kaspar nodded sagely, “I know I did.” 

Not helping! Nox’s eyes expressed wordlessly as he glared at Kaspar. 

Kaspar lifted his hands up defensively, “Look at it this way, he finally came back to you!” 

Nox hummed in half hearted agreement. Kaspar fell back on the bed and Nox joined him again. Nox pressed himself against Kaspar, seeking his comforting warmth. Kaspar’s arm instantly circled around Nox’s shoulders comfortingly. 

Dae was a college mentor for aspiring engineering students. When he was paired with Nell Nox was prepared for him to shirk his duties. What college student wanted to spend time with a kid who might not be well enough to leave the hospital let alone compete? Instead, Dae showed up at Nell’s hospital room with the entire robotics kit in his backpack. 

The backpack evolved to a small wagon that he dutifully packed and unpacked to make sure she could work on her robot anywhere. He also fought with event organizers ensuring Nell could participate digitally in a competition scheduled two days after a major surgery. 

Daedalus Kane was an easy man to fall for. Nox hadn’t realized his affection grew stronger in their time apart. The moment he spied Dae trying to hide behind Tessa he recognized him. Attraction and fondness crashed over him like a tsunami. 

“I wrote that song about him.” 

A pregnant silence stretched between them as Kaspar processed the bomb Nox dropped into the conversation. 

There was only one song in their discography that Nox wrote by himself. He’d pitched in on the others. But only one was solely his. 

“That’s why you were so insistent that everyone got credited for writing it.” Nox nodded against Kaspar’s side, “It wasn’t that you were worried about rumors, you were worried about those rumors being true.” 

“If you tell a single soul I swear I’ll tell people you like wax play but start crying and wimp out the moment it’s more than soy wax.” 

Nox shifted his head to glare at Kaspar who looked genuinely hurt. After realizing Nox was being honest he sighed and pulled away from Nox. 

“I guess this is over then?” Kaspar gestured between Nox and himself with resigned finality. He didn’t seem upset, just slightly inconvenienced. 

“Maybe you can finally shoot your shot with Ellis,” Kaspar glared at Nox who sighed before continuing, “There’s no promise he’ll even call, let alone date me.” 

“Yeah who would want a slut like-” Nox leapt up to straddle Kaspar and pressed a pillow down over his head like he was trying to kill him. After five seconds of muffled struggling he pulled the pillow away, “Ok! Since when did you take issue with being called a slut?” 

Nox clicked his tongue in annoyance and dismounted, “I don’t give a shit what you call me. Just drop the whole Dae thing, kay?” 

Kaspar clearly had more he wanted to say but he chose to remain silent.