I open my eyes, staring at the ceiling. Daylight streams into the room, making my newly painted clothes glow crimson. Thoughts of my actions still ring in my head, announcing the shame. The ceiling is white, staring into my soulless eyes, and I stare into its emptiness. The sound of doors echoes. I don’t even care why.

“Look at this mess, Barney.”

“Lo-Lo-looks like we have a murder here, boss.”

I stand up, looking at two men standing in the doorway, one in a uniform with a full golden circle, and one in rags. What is going on here? Who are they? They must be here to arrest me for my crime. Was it for nothing?

“And I thought Kyle was late,” the boss said.

“What should we do with him, boss?”

“Take him to the headquarters.”

“Su-su-sure… sure thing, boss.”

Barney approaches slowly and hesitantly, trying to grab me. Why protest? I deserve this.

“Let’s go, fi-fi-filth. You won’t get away with this,” Barney snarls.

I am a murderer. Let them take me, it's over. I go into their car, and we drive through the streets of forgotten memories. Memories of how we played games on the lively streets full of people, full of dreams, full of energy. It's been so long that I've forgotten how. The world is darker, duller, more pale. Colours were brighter, shinier, alive. The sun used to dance across the sky, and its joy rained down on us. Now only despair shines on us. A world without love and compassion. I don’t even recall when I felt one of them. How could I? As we enter the government zone, the streets look more alive and brighter. A few kids playing in rich streets, nice houses, and even parked new cars. Soldiers patrol, making sure no unwanted souls disturb their peace. People in fancy suits pretending they live a normal life. Maybe they do, I'm not sure, maybe only we must crave. I always wonder if they use it too or only us. Maybe it is a privilege to have a clear head. Something that used to be normal. They park the car. I just stare at the front seat. Barney drags me out. My legs walk without my consent, leading me into the giant grey building. No windows, just a giant cube. Inside dull grey walls and mazes of empty corridors leading in each direction. We go up into a room with only a table and a couple of chairs. They lock the room as they leave. Time speeds up or slows down, I'm not sure, everything seems so fake. Fabrics of my mind. Maybe it is just a lack of it. After a while, they return with a file.

“Why did you kill him?” the boss said

“What will you do with me?”

Barney hunches behind the boss and says, “The boss asked a question.”

“Kyle, at least, was talkative.  Answered me, Craver.”

Looking at my legs, still with red paint, I say, “I... I... wanted relief.”

The boss glances at Barney and nods.

“And we thought you killed him because he cooperated with us.”

“What are you talking about?”

“We need a new Kyle.”

“No”

“This was not a question, Kyle.”

“Please send me to camp or just end me.”

“I see... You will change your mind soon enough, Kyle.”

“Yeah, boss, they always do.”

“Let's go, Barney.”

“Su-su-sure thing, boss.”

They turn around, leaving me alone with my thoughts. No, I cannot join them. I could never help them after what they did to us. How they came out of nowhere, poisoned our water overnight, and slowly got us all addicted. When we noticed that our water was pure poison, it was too late. They just stopped doing that for a while, and in a couple of days, we begged them to save us. Selling ourselves willingly, we gave them full control. I don’t want to be like them. I could never be like them. There must be a way to get out of this. Someone help, please.

Hours pass by. I know what their plan is: to starve me to crave for it. Hours pass by, at least I think so, and my brain is eating itself out, my heart outrunning the fastest runners. Body washing me with its liquid. I know the voice is coming. Body signals his arrival. I can hear my breath echoing. The room temperature is dropping. He is here. “Comply” No... No please. “It´s Kyle's fault.” That´s not true. My hands are covering my ears. My body swaying back and forth. leave me alone. “You know what to do.” My brain is still not full, so it starts to eat faster. I scream. I'm watching the door. Hoping for them to return. “Please, I will comply.” Nothing. A couple of minutes or hours pass. I’m not sure anymore. Every second seems endless. My clothes are completely soaked now—half red, half grey. “I will do anything... Please.” After a while, the door opens, and they walk in.

“Heh... hee... heh... he... I told you, boss, see, I told you, boss.” Barney hunches, hiding behind the boss.

“Are you ready to cooperate?”

“Ye... Yes”

“Speak up.”

“Yea sp-sp-speak up”

The boss glances at Barney with an angry look.

Barney steps back a little.

“Yes,”

“So, Kyle, just do what you did until now.”

“I don´t know what Kyle did.”

“I told you to do your job, not ask stupid questions.”

“Yes. Can... can I have a shot, please?”

“We are not done.”

“What do you want from me?”

The boss grabs me by the hair and slams my head onto the table.

“I want you to sign it.”

I open it, looking at the army of letters and a bunch of papers. Reading it. Some contract. Personal information about Kyle Smith. The boss grabs me by the hair and slams my head onto the table.

“I told you to sign in, not read it.”

“Yes”

The boss drops a pen on the table. No words, just stare. I pick it up with my shaky hands. Selling myself like this. Did Kyle have a choice, too? How do I even sign it? Do they want my real name or his? Is this a trick? Staring at the paper for a while and then writing Kyle Smack on it with a heavy pen.

The boss smiles, “I knew you were smart, boy.”

The boss takes an ampule and tosses it to me. My shaky hands are struggling to catch it. Bouncing a couple of times before I secure it. Open it and chug it. Sweat and sour gold stop my body's inner chaos. With that, it hits me. I guess we are not so different, Kyle. I chuckle.

“Something funny here.”

“No”

“good”