The little clock on the wall went past 5am. The world outside was quiet and the air inside June's apartment was very chilly.

Keighley had already made herself a cup of tea to warm up and was now preparing a sandwich to go with. 

June on the other hand stayed sitted on the floor, still holding Ryan's painting. Keighley then joined her, she didn't look at June and didn't say anything either.

The room was dead silent for a while till June finally broke it.

"Ryan started to change after we got closer." June started, her fingers brushing against the painting. "Then Dexter, then fights, then rumors... everything happened so fast." She added her voice breaking.

June placed the painting down and walked over to the TV turning it off. 

Her gaze softened as she spotted Keighley blinking fast, her eyes red from exhaustion. Her heart sank to her stomach, she felt selfish for keeping Keighley awake for something she couldn't move on from.

"June," Keighley's voice broke through June's thoughts. "I know what you are thinking... you are not keeping me awake okay...I came here to listen to you." She added, as she rubbed her eyes.

"You need to sleep... Am sorry for keeping you up this late." June apologized.

"June...I can sleep later." Keighley said as she got up and walked to June and took her hands.“It breaks me to see you holding everything by yourself.”

Keighley was now close enough for June to see her eyebags, teary red eyes that still kept blinking as if that would keep her awake. Then she glanced down at her hands in Keighley's, paint from the canvas was still stuck on her fingers.

“I don’t even know where to start,” she whispered. “Everything just happened at once.”

She clutched her chest tightly. 

“It started with Dexter,” she whispered. “ Something happened between them first.”

June exhaled heavily as her mind drifted back to that time, a memory she had almost forgotten.

Days after June and Ryan had started officially dating, Dexter stopped hanging out with them and kept to himself. When he did look their way or Join them for a bit, his eyes always found June, and lingered longer than he was supposed to. June had noticed it one too many times. Like the sight of them together changed something in him.

When June asked Ryan about it, he would assure her that Dexter was fine, that he preferred to be on his own.

But guilt crept at her, she had taken his only friend from him. She tried so much to include him but he always wandered away leaving June helpless.

To her relief he found new friends and June didn't have to worry about him anymore or could she. 

One afternoon she spotted the two under a tree. Her heart leapt for joy at the sight of them finally together. But as she got closer, she realized it wasn't a friendly chat they were having. 

She saw Ryan tighten fist and raise it at Dexter who leaned forward and smirked. 

The mower behind her was so loud that she couldn't figure out what they were talking about. What had got Ryan so agitated?

The mower cut off and she finally heard Dexter's voice. Sharp and clear. “Does June know about Molly? If you’re so close, why haven't you told her yet?”

June's heart sank, Molly again. Then she saw Ryan’s fist rise again as if to strike Dexter, but he stopped himself mid-way. 

She realized Dexter had seen her, and smirked. Something in his smile wasn’t relief. It was provocation. His eyes then shifted to Ryan's fist then face.

“Go ahead,” Dexter yelled. “Hit me... Ryan hit me, That’s how you solve everything.”

Ryan turned away, his back facing Dexter Then, at a distance, he saw her.

She covered her mouth in shock.

When their eyes met, she quickly forced on a smile and waved as she walked towards them.

Ryan’s shoulders instantly relaxed. His frown replaced with a smile, but his eyes said otherwise. He murmured something to Dexter still keeping the smile. Then forced cheerful steps forward, like as if nothing has happened.

Dexter stayed frozen still, a storm clearly raging in his mind. Even from where she stood, June could see the storm building behind the calm smile he forced.

June felt chills down her spine, her lips trembled. she was so fixed on Dexter that she didn't notice Ryan In front of her.

When he took her hand, she jolted back, her heart beat rising. 

"Am sorry," she quickly apologized placing her hand back in his. 

He chuckled softly and patted her head again like always. He gripped her hand tighter. "Let's go," he said.

June waved at Dexter as they left. He forced a smile and waved back but June couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to happen and Molly, this name was only the tip of the iceberg.

Their path out of the university was quieter than before. Ryan had let go of June's hand and walked ahead of June. He had never done this before.

June stopped in her tracks and called out to him many times but he didn't even flinch, he  treaded along the path, the wind rustling through his hair and he did not turn back. 

She swallowed heavily, her pulse throbbed painfully in her throat.

However, she didn’t follow him.

She instead turned the other way and walked home alone.

That was where everything began to fall apart.

"Do you still blame him...you know, Dexter for what happened?" Keighley's voice pulled June back to the kitchen.

“I do...but I blame myself too if only I paid attention to the signs... I would have stopped whatever followed, I would have saved him.” June replied.

“It must have been hard for you... all these months.” Kayleigh said placing down her sandwich.

Dear diary,

I've been stuck in this loop for so long 

I almost don't even remember how I got into it

Am exhausted, 

tired, 

hungry,

thirsty....

But I don't know how to break this loop

~June