Accidentally running into Elias was impossible. Loitering before the arts faculty, pretending to be busy, was probably the most pathetic thing Ryan had ever done. 

In his attempt to meet Elias by pure chance, he’d probably circled around campus so often, it lifted his step count by thousands of endless steps, turning his legs and calves sore. 

But Elias was never there. Never, not once, did Ryan find him in front of the arts building. He had hoped to catch him smoking his strawberry-flavored vape, but Elias never did. 

He had hoped to find Elias in the cafeteria or dining hall, but then, he remembered how disgusted Elias had been by the sheer idea of eating on campus, and Ryan had quickly scrapped that idea. 

Since Ryan had no idea about Elias’ schedule, and wasn’t about to go full stalker mode to find out more about his day, the only option he had left was to wander around the arts faculty halls whenever he had free time, pretending to enjoy the exhibited paintings, pretending to be lost, or waiting, or whatever it was. 

But it never attracted Elias, who was either not on the premises, or holed up in a locked atelier, so focused on painting, nothing would ever distract him. Sometimes, Ryan found himself observing Elias from afar, through the tiny window at the door, only to duck in fear whenever Elias turned his head in a sigh. 

When he lingered around the arts faculty, it only ever attracted the confused gazes of college girls, and the giggles right after when they noticed his clueless stare at the art on the walls. 

And then, two girls he recognized. A curly brunette, and a redhead, walking down the hall together once more. But this time, it wasn’t Ryan that approached them, but instead, they did, only after exchanging a few whispers with one another. 

“It’s the cutie again,” they giggled, blushing atop their round cheeks. 

They greeted him, and Ryan greeted back with a silent, gentle smile, making the girls all the more giddy. 

“Were you able to find Elias that other time?” the brunette asked him, her curls bouncing over her face. She was incredibly pretty, but Ryan’s mind was set on Elias, hearing his name already ruining his thoughts.

“Uh … Yeah. It didn’t go that well, though,” Ryan chuckled, and the girls giggled right back. 

“That’s Elias for you,” the redhead said. “Are—Are you two friends?”

“Yeah, we are friends.” Ryan answered without hesitation. “But don’t tell him I said that.” 

The redhead giggled, hiding her lips behind her long sleeve and the hand she covered her mouth with. 

“I can’t really see him having friends, to be honest.” Then, she tilted her head to the side, observing Ryan from head to toe. “We tried befriending him, but it was a pain. It’s like he wants to be alone.” 

“Ah … well,” Ryan sighed. Whenever he observed Elias through the window, it did seem he enjoyed being a loner, and all by himself, left alone and separated from the world, but something about it felt off, too. Ryan couldn’t quite point his finger on it yet, though. 

And without Ryan even sparking this conversation, the two girls began to let out their frustrations about their classmate, Elias, with whom they had the misfortune of sharing multiple lectures with. 

Ryan gazed over at them in a perplexed expression as their heated gossip reached his ears.

“Ugh, he’s just so …  full of himself,” the brunette grumbled. “He thinks he’s the best, and doesn’t even bother showing up to class sometimes. And whenever he does, all he gets is praise from the professors, and all his exams and art are graded perfectly. The professors are totally favoring him over everyone else, and always tell us to make an example of his work, and try harder, and he just takes the compliments with such a smug face.” 

“And when we ask him for any advice, he never responds, and just leaves. Like he can’t even be bothered with it!” The redhead added in a roll of her eyes, and Ryan continued on staring at the both of them. 

“Any room he’s in feels way too tense!” At this point, Ryan wasn’t even part of the conversation any longer, and it had turned into a heated discussion between the two friends. 

“I’ve heard he’s failing core courses, though. He’s so good at arts, but so bad at anything else.”

“Oh, and have you heard that he gets around a lot?” Their voices turned to whispers, and Ryan grumbled.

“Gets around?” he repeated, and their focus flipped back to him. 

They blushed and nodded all the more. “Yeah!” 

“What do you mean?”

“Like, you—you know,” they giggled awkwardly, now feeling shy about the rumors they themselves had spread. “We’ve heard he picks up random guys at bars to get drunk with, and—you know …”

“I don’t know,” Ryan grumbled, his mood turning darker. 

“One of our friends mentioned they saw him like that, on a Friday night. And apparently, a student that graduated last year hooked up with Elias, but then, Elias never wanted to hear from him again, and completely embarrassed him in front of everyone. Elias is not only a jerk, but also a total slut—“

“What?” Ryan’s green eyes were darkened completely, now, making the girls jerk backwards. When he was the pure image of a ray of sunshine, with his bright smile lighting up any room and making them so giddy with how cute he was, it terrified them all the more how serious, and how deep his voice had become.

“Why are you talking about him like that?” Ryan grumbled. 

“We—Well, we just heard—“

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Maybe this is why he won’t be friends with you, and doesn’t bother talking to you. If all you’re doing is being nasty about things you’ve allegedly heard, I’d do the same thing.”

“But—“ 

“If you don’t know anything about Elias, you shouldn’t talk about him this way,” Ryan reprimanded them, turning them into speechless, bumbling messes. “His private life is none of your business. He can do whatever he wants.” 

In total embarrassment about having been scolded by the guy they found so adorable, hoping he’d agree with them, they rushed off, their intentions about asking for his number long forgotten. 

Ryan’s eyes followed them down the hall, only for him to sigh right after. 

But his thoughts betrayed him. 

Elias … fooling around? With his face always so serious, and so stoic, or an angry frown, Ryan almost couldn’t imagine it. But somehow, his mind managed to make up a fake reality of Elias’ body flushed in pink, and with tearful, glazed look in his eyes, his paint-tainted fingers clenching into bedsheets …

And Ryan found himself slapping his own face, so much so it left a red mark on his cheek, ridding himself of all these impure, impossible thoughts. “What are you thinking, Ryan? Get a grip!” 

Not only did his cheek stung, but they both burned in a deep red color all over his face, embarrassing him all the more. 

Two weeks, it had been, since the last time Ryan had spoken to Elias. And somehow, now, he craved hearing his voice more than the whole two weeks that had passed. 

In a gulp, he walked down the hall, coming to a stop right before the very atelier worked in, even now, even today. 

These past weeks, every time Ryan had visited the building, he’d found Elias working on this big canvas, a new painting. First, he’d sketched; then, he’d reached for colors and begun painting, and step by step, Ryan had witnessed a beautiful, cyberpunk-inspired city come to life, with rain reflecting all the neon colors of the futuristic nightlife, with rain drops so detailed, they may as well have been real. 

But that day, when Ryan returned, it was different. 

The color on Elias’ giant brush didn’t fit the dark, nightly mood he’d chosen for his painting. A little foam roller, Elias carried in his hands. His hair, once again, was bound up into a ponytail so it wouldn’t bother him. 

But the paint … was white. And the brush way too massive for it to be meant for some highlighting details. Elias lifted his arm, ready to paint over the canvas in one, heartless swipe.

Ryan’s heart thumped louder, and louder, as he stared with an opened mouth, and realized that Elias wasn’t just a talented, confident artist, but one drowning in his very own perfectionism.