Harriet and I eventually found somewhere to live. Our new apartment complex is a few minutes away from where Mateo lives. I brought in all the paperwork required for leasing a new place in Los Angeles. It was quite extensive. I used my driver's license as my required Identification. I needed proof of employment. And they did something called a credit check. Harriet assured me that all of these things were typical of renting somewhere to live, but I was completely out of my element. I again was grateful for all her help. Another thing to add to the list of things that I wouldn’t have been able to do without her help. After all these forms were accepted, the next step was for Harriet and me to sign a multiple-page document. I tried my best to read through all the information, but I didn’t want to delay the process for Harriet.

I signed my name as Olivia Smith. I had a pang of regret. I wish that I could have signed as myself, Anaphalia, but my identification for this world is someone else. I began to think about what would happen if Olivia managed to return. Would she be upset about the fact that I signed a lease for a year with someone she didn’t know? I stayed up all night after signing the lease, worried about the long-term implications of what I was doing with Olivia’s life. But I ultimately decided that there was not much of an alternative. I can’t be expected to live in the ambiguity forever. After tossing and turning all night with these worries, I ended up realizing that Olivia might be living my life in a similar manner, and I would not be upset with whatever she had done with my life while I was gone. It’s not like my life had been anything special anyway. Nor had Olivia’s. It was strange how similar we actually were. Neither of us had any real connections to people who had given our lives purpose. Now, I am trying to change that. Perhaps she will think of these decisions as an improvement.

Around a week after finally signing the lease of the new apartment, Harriet and I were allowed to move into the apartment. The week leading up to the move seemed to pass at a glacial pace. It felt like every day had more hours than normal in it. When the day finally arrived, I had both Mateo and Alicia offer to help me move. I told them I didn’t have much to move, but they both insisted on helping me. I looked around my room at the shelter. It was a simple bedroom with white walls. This place was supposed to be my temporary home. But I ended up living here for months. I looked at the things I had accumulated since moving in, and they fit in one box. Despite the humble things inside, this had become my own place. the first place that had truly been mine. I had thought that at some point, this place had turned from a temporary living situation to my own personal space. I had survived the transition from living as a princess to an independent person. This small room had provided more comfort than my castle. I had grown up assuming that an abundance of wealth had provided me with everything imaginable. But in reality, I felt that inside this tiny room, at least everything here was chosen by me and had truly been mine. It was a strange feeling.

Mateo showed up first. He had borrowed a truck from his father. He smiled when he first saw me. He apologized for the state of the truck. His dad uses it for his landscaping job, and the car was not clean. I didn’t care. I just laughed because my own box didn’t need this giant truck. But Mateo was sure that we would need it. So we got into it with my things and drove to my new home. I walked Mateo to my new place and shakily got out the keys for the apartment. I went to open the door, and it was already unlocked. Harriet and her family were inside, working on various things. A couch and a TV had already been plopped into the front room. Harriet’s brother was doing something with her computer and the internet. He was the first to notice us. He smiled and greeted us as we walked in. He and Mateo exchanged their typical, “What’s good!” and the following hand motions. Harriet’s mom was in the kitchen, scrubbing things. She turned around and also said hello to us. Harriet came out from her room, where she and her dad were arranging her things.

Mateo and I put my box of clothes and toiletries into the second bedroom. Looking around in the giant room that was now completely mine, I began to realise how much I still needed. I definitely needed a bed, a dresser, and a table. I sighed. I was starting from scratch. But I had to realise that this is always the case when you first move somewhere. I had planned on starting over in my old life. I can only imagine how much I would have needed to make a nice home. I remember that I do have money saved up in my bank account. But I don’t want to use all of that up today. I want to make sure I have some money for an emergency. Mateo looks around my room and folds his arms. He says, “You need a bed today.” I nod my head, “Any ideas?” A giant smile breaks across Mateo’s face. He looks at me with this look and says, “I have an idea. The Hernandez way. Let’s go?” My heart starts beating faster. I have been used to getting these smiles from Mateo since I met him. But lately, they make me feel differently. I follow him outside the door. Not knowing where we are headed.

We load up into the truck. Mateo puts on music from his playlist. It’s hip hop. It makes the truck vibrate a bit as the sound fills up the space. Mateo puts on some sunglasses. He also grabs some gloves out of the glovebox. They are covered in dirt. He starts driving. I’m growing anxious as we drive for a while. After a few songs, I finally ask, “What are we doing?” Mateo explains his master plan, “It’s Saturday. In Los Angeles. Later in the afternoon. Meaning some people have had garage sales. But not everything gets sold. Or others are moving out. Sometimes people leave furniture out on the side of the road for others to take. Or to throw away. And we are looking for that. Maybe not for your bed. But definitely for other furniture.” I’m mystified by this information. After a few more minutes, we drove by a sofa that had the sign, “Free” on it. Mateo pointed to the couch and shook his head no. Apparently, it had been out for a while. I didn’t know how he could tell just as we drove past it. But after a few more minutes, we saw a square cubby dresser. It was just the cubes, but Mateo pulled up next to it. It was right next to the dumpster of another apartment complex. He grabbed the dresser and threw it into the truck bed.  He had the most satisfied look on his face.

After about an hour of what Mateo called “dumpster diving,” we found it. The thing that I couldn’t believe someone would throw out. It was a table and four chairs. Just sitting on the side of the road. How much money does someone have that they throw away a functional piece of furniture? Mateo got so excited. He looked at me and said, “I’m going to need your help with this one.” I nodded in approval. He reached over to my side of the car and opened up the glove compartment to fish out another pair of work gloves. He gave them to me. We pulled up to the table and chairs. I got out of the truck. We worked together and loaded the table into the bed of the truck. Then we each took our first chairs. Just as we grabbed the second set of chairs, a security guard came out and yelled at us. Mateo and I ran back into the car and sped off. Mateo was cracking up the whole time. He looked over at me and said, “Just don’t say anything to Harriet about this. She will have words about it.” My heart was still pounding from us running away from the security man. I agreed to the secret. In the end. We had found a dresser, two lamps, and the table and chairs.

Finally, Mateo pulled into a Goodwill. We got out and went inside. He told me that this place sold used bed frames, but the beds were new. We walked to the back of the store and found the beds. I picked out the smallest one, and Mateo shook his head no. He put it back and pulled out the medium-sized bed. We started to walk up to pay, and on our way, Mateo saw a coffee maker. We took our things up to pay. I paid for my bed. It’s the first thing that I have bought for my apartment. I felt so much pride. This was mine. I didn’t get this because of anyone else. I worked for this money, and now I have a bed all my own. We arrived a few minutes later back to the apartment. Harriet gets excited when we bring in the dining table. She asks where we got it from, and Mateo, without missing a beat, said, Goodwill! It was the first secret between Mateo and me. I chuckled to myself. We then unloaded the rest of the things into the apartment. Mateo tells me that he got me the coffee maker as a housewarming present. Which is apparently a tradition of this place. People give you something for your new place. I’m overwhelmed at everything he did for me today. He is an amazing human being.

Alicia showed up later, after her shift at work. But she didn’t show up empty-handed. She arrived with a giant box of dishes and utensils. She put the box in front of the table and started unapck it and washing everything inside. I ran to a closer store and picked out my first sheets, pillow, and blankets for my bed. I ended up overwhelmed by all the color choices. I chose something purple because it reminded me of my favorite flowers growing up. I got my room ready. After a couple of hours, it was finally done. Things had been moved into the apartment. Now it was time to eat. Harriet’s brother Martin, Mateo, Alicia, Harriet, and I decided to order some pizza. Harriet said that christening the apartment with pizza was a good start. I ate so much food. I had worked up an appetite by working hard all day. Mateo also ate an obscene amount of pizza. Martin left and came back with some beers, Modelos. After a long day, I was grateful to have people with me when I moved into a new place.

After drinking for a few hours, Martin and Harriet went into Harriet’s room to pass out. Alicia ordered an Uber to take her home. Martin had spent the whole night goading Mateo to drink more. They have such a different vibe when they are together. It’s almost like Mateo is a kid again when he is around Martin. They ended up drinking more than the rest of us. Martin was able to sleep in his sister’s room, but Mateo had planned on walking home. After Alicia’s car left with her in it, I found Mateo crashed on the couch. I woke him up so that he could go home, but he was intoxicated. I decided to let him continue to crash on the couch. But right as I was about to leave, he leaned forward and gently grabbed me around my waist. He put his head on my hip. He pulled me closer and said, “Smith. I’m so glad that you finally got out of that place.” I was curious, “The shelter?” Mateo nods. He says, “Every time I walked you home to that shelter, I felt terrible. Why was someone like you staying there? I was worried that some crazy guy was going to attack you while you were there.” I paused. I had never considered that, but seeing how many people transferred in and out, it makes sense that Mateo would be worried. I pat him on his back, “I’m fine now.” Mateo’s face gets redder, “Mi amor. I’m just happy you are closer to me. Now we can hang out like this even more.” At this point, Mateo lets go of me and lies back down on the couch. I lean forward and hug him. I can’t help myself. I feel so grateful for this man. He is always so thoughtful. Anticipating spending more time with Mateo makes a smile break out on my face. This has been a good day.