It's dark. Im feeling nauseous. I want to throw up but I can't open my eyes. 

What happened? 

I remember I was with the king and we're doing something. I just can't remember what it is. 

"Ugh." I groaned and felt someone assist me to sit down. "'Gonna throw up." 

I heared the person who helped me rush to get something. A bucket hopefully. But I couldn't open my eyes just yet. I feel so nauseous that the moment he gave me the thing I immediately throw up. 

The taste is bearable. The sour and bitterness of it makes me think if I drink with the king and passed out. 

Wait, king?

Why would the guild have a king? The intel my family gave me about the members of every guild didn't have a so called king. 

So why would I think of someone as a king. 

And the weird thing is, I don't remember what he looks like. 

"Are you alright? How do you feel?"

I had a moment of silence before I had the strength to open my eyes and be grossed out by the wooden bucket of puke. 

"Here. Let me get that. Drink this." 

The man said as he gently get the bucket out of my sight and replace it with a wooden glass of water. 

I took a sip and closed my eyes. It feels like I'm breathing again. 

"Thanks." I said in a hoarse voice because of the aftermath of loosing all of inside my stomach. 

When I finally adjusted my sight, I saw what the man looked like. He has dark skin and yellow hair. He had a small beared that somehow suit him. 

"You are?" I tried to make a conversation because he's just looking at me while I'm sizing him.

"Forgive me. I am the leader of this tribe. You need not know my name as it is not for bypassers should know." I frown and he suddenly shifted just to explain more. "I deeply regret it. I do want to say my name but as the leader, I am bound to not say it. I too, want to know your name that's why I deeply regret not giving what you want. You are so lovely that I could give you anything... beside my name."

I saw how he deeply regret the fact that he cannot say his name.

I want to know too because he nursed me from being drunk but I'm not the kind of person that persuade someone who is not able to name themselves.

"Then, can I call you Bucky?" 

"Bucky?" He question but I cannot say that he gave me the bucket to puke on and that's where I get that name so I suddenly blurted a lie.

"That's a name of a great leader I know of."

And that's when he smiled.

He put his right hand in his chest and lean a little as he said, "Then for you, I am Bucky." 

Is it a curtesy? Is seems like it but I'm not sure. Well, its not a big deal so I shake it off.

I looked around as I saw where am I.

A wooden room big enough for a person to live in.

"Pardon, this is the cleanest room I could find. This is my room but it can be yours as of now. I want you to be comfortable until my cousin get you back."

"Get me back? From where?"

"To the capital. Back to the king and his retainers." He looked a bit suspicious of me and asked, "Don't you remember?"

"I..." I don't know if I need to explain it.

I mean I do have trust issues from the training I gained from my parent's family. Being a son of an assassin and mafia boss made me somewhat curious and cautious about everything and cannot trust others unless they did something that could benefit me.

A man of scheme if I am named of. But I'm not that good in that criteria either, yet I tried.

I am trained to calculate every posibilities, make everyone dance around my fingers, and lead them to something more profitable for me.

Yet I can't make the decision to scam this... Bucky. 

Something is bothering me about him. He is a puzzle that had a missing piece that I want to uncover and fix.

So I said, "I don't remember. Who am I in this life?"

Life.

Right. Life. For me, having a next milestone is a life. And those milestones are the missions that I get from my godfather. And for every mission, I have ways of ending it. Making it more like a life of rebirth than just a phase in my life.

"I don't know your name but they said you're a guide of the king and his retainers. I mean, the knight, the chancellor, and my merchant of a cousin. You just need to wait for him. I know he'll find you here and he will explain everything. A week maybe?"

He looked appologitic enough. It feels like he did something to me that he regret.

"Buck, what did you do to me?"

I saw him unsettled. A gesture that makes me question whether he is a trustworthy person or not.

"I... I'm sorry. I didn't do anything...yet." Before I could confront him he confess it all. "I imagine myself touching and having an intimate night with you. And I know that I shouldn't because you're not from our tribe and you know my cousin but," he finally looked at me after pausing. "for some reason, I'm drawn to you."

I don't know what to say. He was waiting for my response but I didn't say a word because the time I was here in Verbana, flashed back to me like a film of memory. 

I know my silence made him uncomfortable, but if I say anything it might cause something unplanned.

Like how I flirt and jumped from one male to another.

Yeah, that was planned.

Lyore, Yusei, Sylas, Eivan, Miraenor. All of them are planned but that idiot guy whom give the most impact isn't planned at all.

I do like Lyore. He fucking saved me from the self crisis I was facing that day. 

I remember where am I before I could know what this place is. This is Verbana. I knew this place yet, I can't control my emotions for seing and being here. I shouldn't be back here in Verbana. Not in this life. Not after I finished my mission in here.

And so, I used Lyore until I saw him as someone like that person from my previous mission. 

And Lyore was useful in living. The sex was good that night. Even though I don't remember most of it. We're at the house so I'm sure it was him. 

Yet I need to go. 

I need to end it. 

No room for mistakes.

So even though it hurts and the investment of feelings fail, I need to escape.

Luckily there was Eivan, the Knight who took me out of the house. I'm suspicious of how he were there back then but I just brush it off. He liked me. He wants my guiding and now I remember that I did guide the guy who had my first time. Could it be him and not Lyore?

No. It's imposible. I'm sure it was Lyore.

Yusei and Sylas is also a planned escape.

Both of them had a taste of my guiding. And having more information is the first thing I must do in this mission.

Though this is not my first time in this place, the time isn't the same.

One thing is certain, they are still drawned to me.

And there was the failed and doubtful king. Miraenor. I tried to seduce him. Hate him. Control him in every possible push and pull situation but none of it affects him. One time he has the power to kill me and the other is where he would love me tenderly.

It was confusing and doubtful.

I'm not doubting his love or action. Well, I think I do, but not that extent. I have some intel that some espers do have double personalities and maybe the king has one too.

So I could differenciate it as Miraenor who hates and wants to control and use me. And the king who loves and needs me.

I noticed how Yusei called the king and Miraenor in diffinition. He would address the Miraenor who wants to control me, His Majesty or Miraenor at some aspects. And if he was addressing the kind and loving Miraenor, he would adress him as Our King or simply Miraenor with gentle tone.

So maybe the kind king is Miraenor and the bastard king is someone else. 

Now I'm curious. 

"Leader. We need your help. The bastard of a king tried to enter our desert with his troops but Sylas cannot be seen in any of it. He was dammed mad!" Someone from the outside shouted out getting the attention of Bucky as I looked at him, I saw his hatered towards the king.

"I need to go. Please rest." Bucky stood up.

"I'll go. If it was because of me, I should face it. Right?" I tried to hide the fact that I know who the person they called bastard. And it was the hateful control freak king.

"I assure you. It isn't about you. So you must rest. I beg you." I would like to argue with him but that word struck me.

No one begs me for something.

No.

No Auren. Shut your fucking weak emotions. This is a mission. No matter that guy feels like the baker in your previous life, it isn't him.

It was long ago and he wouldn't look like this.

And yet, I want to wish that he was reincarnated in this world just to find me. And that is why the white gate leads me here.

Fuck! How could I even think that way? I'm an idiot. I'm hopeless.

I felt a tear run down my eye as I recall the long lost mission back in the past that my godfather made me do. And that is the biggest reason that I choose to made myself hard on my emotions.

I took a deep breathe and lay down.

I want to get away.

I want to leave this mission.

This life.

But I can't. This is not the one my godfather choose. I was alone in here without intel. And what could be my mission just to clear it. There is no extraction point and no escape. Maybe I'll live the rest of my life in here.

Without the system and the guidance of a partner, I'm blind. 

Defeated, I put an arm in my eyes as I reminisce the last mission in this place.