I jolted awake, my scream tearing through the Seraphiel house. Images of the flames and blood surrounded my vision. My father’s slit throat. The memory of Kako’s voice echoing as the house burned down around me. The smell of smoke burning into my nostrils. My hands flew to my face, expecting it to be melting, but there was only a cool sweat. I gasped, chest heaving.

The gown that was lent to me from Cy’s deceased mother fell loosely off my shoulder, the rest of the fabric twisted and clinging to my skin from thrashing in my sleep.

Cyrus was there in an instant, his hands grabbing my face gently, blue eyes filled with worry. “Nemmi, it’s okay, you’re safe,” he shushed me. “Breathe.”

I stared into the darkness of the room, the nightmare slowly leaving me. “I killed him,” I whispered.

Suddenly, Sir Seraphiel appeared at the door, disheveled from jumping out of bed and running to me. “Another dream?” he asked, slightly panting.

“It’s the third one tonight,” Cy said, rubbing my back. “Everything is fine. You’re here– with us.”

“I killed him,” I repeated. I couldn’t stop my body from shaking. “I’m a murderer.”

Sir Seraphiel came to me then, sitting at my feet on the bed. He looked at me, concern etched into the lines of his forehead, his brows knit together. “Noemi,” he said softly, “you didn’t kill him. Kako did.”

My gaze dropped to my hands. “It’s all my fault,” I whimpered.

Murder…

“Justice,” Kako hissed in my mind.

I started hyperventilating, my breathing turning into short gasps of air, my arms desperately feeling around– my body, the blanket– anything to grip onto and steady myself. I had to stay in control. I had to keep Kako from taking over again.

My fists began to pound at my temples.

“GET OUT!” I screamed. “GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!’

Immediately, Cy and Sir Seraphiel jumped into action, grasping at my arms as I flung them around.

“Noemi!” Cy shouted, “Please! Stop–”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!”

I was pushed onto my back, Sir Seraphiel holding my arms down and Cy’s hands suddenly on my temples, light beaming from them. 

“GET OUT! GET…. get out,” My movement slowed, peace flooding me. “Get…”

Images of the stream and my mother– happy moments replacing the darkness. My fears subsided.

Their grip loosened on me and Sir Seraphiel breathed relief.

I blinked slowly, the forced calm from Cy’s healing washing over me, I could feel the sweat slowly drying on my skin, the gown still twisted around me. As the light from his ability dimmed, the images of my mother and our old adventures faded, leaving me feeling hollow and heavy. I was once again reminded how out of control everything was. How out of control I was.

Cy pulled his hands away, his face pale and worn out. “My body is exhausted,” he said, his voice rough. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this,” 

Guilt settled in my chest. He was wasting his strength on me– on the mess that I made. I wanted to apologize, but the words caught in my throat. Instead, I just nodded weakly, flicking my gaze toward Sir Seraphiel.

“We will find another way,” his father replied. 

He stood, pacing to the dim moonlight coming from the window, where the faint sounds of the Kingsguards voices filtered in. My eyes followed him. 

“Noemi,” he called, looking at me. “We need to understand everything that happened in that room. You said your father found out you were a Lament, is that correct?”

I nodded. Lament. The word echoed in my head, reminding me of the stories Mother used to tell about the children who never survived. But I had. I was fourteen and I was alive. It felt unreal.

“Father said he was trying to cleanse me,” I whispered. 

The memory surged in me: the chamber, the dagger slicing into my arm, the smoke burning into my body and lungs. I hugged my knees to my chest, trying to hold myself together.

Cy leaned closer, his warm hand finding mine and interlocking our fingers. I could feel the tremble in them– fear, maybe, or anger on my behalf. “How is it even possible? She shouldn’t be alive if it’s true.” 

Sir Seraphiel sighed again, rubbing his forehead, ignoring his son’s question. He whispered something under his breath, then glanced at me, his eyes searching my face as though he could see my mother in it. 

“Nobody can know,” he said, seriously. “If the King were to find out about a Lament who lived–” He paused, his next words laced with fear, “It won’t be good, Noemi.”

I immediately felt Cy’s other hand cover our laced fingers, squeezing tightly. 

“We must keep it a secret,” he finished, “here in our home.”

Our home. The words should have comforted me. I was free from the burden of my father’s cruelty. But instead, it only tightened the knot in my stomach. They were responsible for me– and now I was the burden.

“What about the fire?” I asked. “Won’t the King come searching for my father?”

Seraphiel shook his head grimly. “The King doesn’t care when a Mongrel dies, Noemi. He will just chalk it up to some accident and find a replacement.”

Cy spoke up then, “But Noemi is the only other blood manipulator–”

“He doesn’t know,” his father interrupted, “and it must stay that way.”

“That’s a whole lot of secrets,” I muttered under my breath.

Sir Seraphiel nodded, the wheels in his head clearly turning. 

“Add the demon to the list.”

“How did he even get there in the first place?” Cyrus asked, the question on both our minds tumbling out of him.

His father leaned against the wall, his tangled blonde hair catching the moonlight from the window. “What did you say your father used in the ritual, Noemi?”

I swallowed hard, the memories resurfacing once again. “S-Some sort of necklace, with a black stone in the center. Something was carved along the side of it.” The events replayed, threatening to make me relive them. “It was… whispering.”

“What did it say?” he urged.

“I don’t–I didn’t understand it.”

He nodded, his finger picking at his bottom lip. “I don’t know what kind of ritual your father intended to perform, Noemi, but it definitely wasn’t what he thought. Whatever that necklace was, it was meant to hold a demon.”

“How do you know, Father?” Cy jumped in.

“Because demons don’t just possess someone out of nowhere.” Sir Seraphiel walked over to me, his eyes meeting mine. 

“I don’t know how that man came across that necklace, Noemi– but whatever he did, he let the demon out… and for reasons unknown to me, Kako latched on to you.”

“We are the same,” Kako’s old words came back to me.

The room began to spin.

“How do I get him to leave me?” I asked, my voice pleading. 

Sir Seraphiel inhaled deeply, his eyes closing as he landed the blow. “I don’t know that it’s possible.”

My ears suddenly rang. If it wasn’t possible… I was stuck like this forever. I was a danger to everyone around me.

My thoughts broke when Sir Seraphiel put his hand on my shoulder, staring into my eyes.

“I think we can figure out how to control him, though.”