---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA - DAY

FIRESLAYER: (whispering) Corn Flakes Boy, can you um, quiet down? Something weird's going on.

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: (quietly) Okay. (loud) Where's my cereal?!

(Fireslayer facepalms. Cheesy slams the door open.)

CHEESY: (shouting) Oh for the love of-- Oh yes, Corn Flakes Boy. You can come in.

INT. HOTEL PIZZA KITCHEN ROOM - DAY

 MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: Oh, Cheesy. You'll never understand the power of making pizza drugs. It's a very dangerous business. Filled with hassling, tassling, and all sorts of confusing things. But you came at the right time, and choose the wrong guy.

CHEESY: What do you mean?

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: I may be a dumbass, But I'm also George Smartypants.

(George Smartypants enters dramatically.)

GEORGE SMARTPANTS: I'm George Smartypants, And I become intelligent at situations I'm forced to. For example, I worked at the FCC and protested about the Youtube AI verification for teens, but I worked at a company protecting teens.

(Silence. Beat.)

CHEESY: (confused) You made a whole guy for that?

(A nod from the author's OC.)

CHEESY: Well, it's almost done. Let's show Cointropolis's best pizza drugs.

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: This is like Breaking Bad, but stupid.

(A large marshmallow with mismatched eyes grows from the pot.)

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Yes, and your pizza drug experiment has morphed into me..

(Corn Flakes Boy walks out and slams the door.)

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: It failed. Let's not do it again.

CHEESEBURGER: So, how did it go?

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: I just said it! Alright, a large marshmallow formed and we failed to shoot it, it acted glitchy and-

VPN: It never morphed. It was a malicious file i downloaded that jumped out.

CHEESEBURGER: I guess that's why we use VPNs nowadays.

(They laugh smugly.)

CHEESEBURGER: Ah, crap I don't have.

CHEESY: (angry) What the- why did you ruin our experiment?!

CHEESEBURGER: Because you're obsessing over the pizza drugs business as if you know how to make them. Why do you do thing when you don't know how to do them?!

CHEESY: Cheeseburger, you bun-brother I hate you! I spent 1 week planning, taking notes, watching YouTube videos..

FIRESLAYER: About women's shampoo. You only searched about that. Only shampoo.

CHEESY: Shut up, you lanky sized vegetable!

FIRESLAYER: (muttering) He also searched about that.

SIR DRUNKALOT: (gasping) My brother! (dramatically) He only sold pit latrines as a source of income.

(serious)My mom never picked him up, he only picked a football with sausage eyes named...Bon Footballette.

CHEESY: Alright Cheeseburger, if you wanna play like this..fine. It's fine, don't come to me shouting ''our profits are low, make pizza drugs.''

CHEESEBURGER: And don't come to me, when you shout about the accidents.

CHEESY: Deal.

CHEESEBURGER: Deal.

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: Deal.

INT. HOTEL PIZZA - DAY

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Now where are those scientists who made me and ran away.

STATIC STAN: (whispering from a box) Psst, hey. Maybe we can-

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: (aiming gun) Intruder Alert. Who do you think you're talking to?!

STATIC STAN: Keep your rattle down! They are gonna hear us. Come, let me explain to you in the Static-Verse.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: The what now?

(Davis's eyes turn to static. They enter the Static-Verse.)

STATIC STAN: Now, my plan is we team up to find the chemistry room, and go inside those liquids-

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Name's General 'Marshmallow' Davis.

STATIC STAN: Um...Name's Static Stan. Now as i was saying.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: I was planted as a computer virus, Einstein.

STATIC STAN: Will you let me finish?! And who planted you.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: The VPN. He programmed me and i appeared, while Cheesy was doing his experiment.

STATIC STAN: That's it! The VPN! I can finally be loved again.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: By making drugs?! Why should i be in, ey?

STATIC STAN: Please..just, team up. You're the only buddy i need.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Go find another buddy, tv-head.

STATIC STAN: My buddy ran away! I made mistake- No he made mistakes, and he ruined our friendship! (looking down) Maybe i was too harsh on...Tick.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Alright, I'm in.

STATIC STAN: I shouldn't have betrya- Yes! Yes! Let's go!

---

EXT. HOTEL PIZZA - DAY

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK: I know what Stan did, Penta. And i'm going to end him. He can't continue his trick-star plans! He's dying, tonight.

---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA - SPA ROOM - DAY

CHEESY: (relaxing) This is the life. I never knew how worth my life is until now.

CHEESEBURGER: You always say that.

CHEESY: Shut up, Cheeseburger. You don't understand how i feel here. It's like Heaven, if only i had the Nintendo Switch 2.

CHEESEBURGER: Cheesy, i get it. You dislike that i refused the 'pizza drug' business. I did it for your own safety, you wanted to be a drug kingpin of the hotel?!

CHEESY: Kingpin is a small word, ''Handsome'' is a great one.

CHEESEBURGER: It doesn't make sense. Drug handsome of the hotel?

CHEESY: Then what makes sense?! Drug+ TV of the hotel?

CHEESEBURGER: Drug TV of the hotel?

CHEESY: Okay, now we are arguing over Apple TV+'s name. If apple wants to turn it into Apple TV, then consider cable. I'm fine with paying $100 to watch Ted Lasso.

CHEESEBURGER: Streaming is cheap, Cheesy.

CHEESY: But hey, this spa thing is making me feel better.

CHEESEBURGER: Yeah, after this. (puts a grape in his mouth) We will try to go slow.

(Crash! Stan and Davis fall through the roof into the spa.)

CHEESY: Oh, Oh, Oh my. Did you not recognize i was recording?! Corn Flakes Boy, why are you like this?!

CHEESEBURGER: Cheesy, i don't think it was Corn Flakes Boy. It appears that there is a..Marshmallow tha- It's the virus!

CHEESY: Sorry Corn Flakes Boy, i'll pay you $3,000 for saying your name, my apologies. (to cheeseburger) Time to kick the marshmallow's ass.

(Cheesy and Cheeseburger attack and defeat Davis.)

CHEESEBURGER: (laughs smugly) Looks like i killed my own creation.

(They high five. Davis teleports away, leaving a BSOD.)

CHEESEBURGER: What just happened?

---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA - CHEMISTRY ROOM - DAY

(Static Stan mixes chemicals and sings the ''We Stan'' theme song.)

(The room tilts. Stan falls through the floor and lands in the spa room, then quickly teleports away.)

CHEESY: Is that....

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: (shouting, glitched) You get back here! St-aaaa-ooo.

CHEESEBURGER: Burn him down, Cheesy!

(Davis teleports away.)

CHEESEBURGER: What just happened?

---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA LOBBY - DAY

STATIC STAN: (sitting) Dammit. Mission Incomplete.

(Davis whacks Stan with a baseball bat.)

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: You bastard. You left me alone to get hurt in the spa room! What's wrong with you?! I thought you would take me with you to your stupid lab room!

STATIC STAN: I understand you're frustration, but i was in a hurry! And plus, you made a great distraction.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Distraction?! Stan, are you using me?

STATIC STAN: (scoffs) No, why would i use you? I never even went to the lab room, i went to the um, toilet.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Toilet?! So what plan were we even doing?! And where are the pizza drugs?!

STATIC STAN: (scoffs) Which pizza drugs? I thought we said the plan is taking place tonight.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Stan, you're acting kinda shady.

STATIC STAN: Geniuses always act shady. Besides, let's just forget about that and maybe get something to eat, 'kay?

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: (sigh) I can't refuse to food. After all, i never ate breakfast. So, what should we eat?

STATIC STAN: We are literally in a pizza hotel place, we just need to disguise.

(Later, they eat pizza in disguise.)

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Y'know Stan, this pizza's great. But the beef sounds re-textured sort of.

STATIC STAN: I'm eating chicken pizza, i'm allergic to Pork. My whole leg becomes filled with these red circles sort of. Also a peanut allergy, I look like some slepless man.

(Watch beeps.)

STATIC STAN: Man, 5 pm already? Guess we should be ready at 7.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: We only have 1 hour of preparations! (finishing the pizza) Stan, let's get to work.

(They teleport away. Rita comes to clean.)

RITA: Money was eating here?

MONEY: I'm talking to you, garl.

RITA: What the- You speak?

MONEY: I said i'm talking to you, garl.

RITA: How are you speaking?!

MONEY: I drank a whole bag of petroleum.

EXT. HOTEL PIZZA - EVENING

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK: Ah, the plan to kill Stan is finally in order.

PENTA: Boss, what about friendship?

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK: Oh, Petty-Pen. I tried that a lot of times, it just doesn't work out.

PENTA: Yeah, sorry about asking that. I just hope we finally kill Stan.

(Penta morphs into a machine gun.)

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK: No more lies, no more tricks, no more mercy. Just death, sweet smell of death.

---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA - NIGHT

(Stan and Davis sneak through the dark hotel.)

STATIC STAN: (whispering) So Davis, it's the time huh? The time to make the pizza drugs and I'll finally be loved again.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: 'I'? I thought we were doing this together.

STATIC STAN: (whispering) Yes i said 'we' you freak. Perhaps you weren't listening.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: (whispering) I don't have a magazine this time, Stan. You're acting suspicious and shady!

STATIC STAN: (whispering) Just keep quiet, it's a long night. We are tired, we will sleep soon. Capeesh?

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: (sigh) Fine.

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK (O.S.): Oh, yeah. Nice rerun of episode 2 huh?

(Stan turns to find Tick-a-clock revving his time chainsaw.)

STATIC STAN: T-T-T-Tick? W-W-W-What are you doing here? (laughs nervously) We still friends, r-right?

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: What is going on here?!

STATIC STAN: Oh, yeah. I forgot about you.

(Stan throws Davis at Tick and runs away.)

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK: You can run, Stan. But you can't hide.

---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA - LOBBY - NIGHT

(Stan hides in the attic. Davis teleports in.)

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: Yeah, aren't we a team?

STATIC STAN: (laughs bitterly) Oh, Davis. The plan has failed. I'm leaving this hotel.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: What. But, i thought we were-

STATIC STAN: (shouting) We were never a team! They say two heads is better than one. Well, the second head is always slayed! So, get slayed.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: What the- we were a team, we bonded. We planned, we made drugs.

STATIC STAN: Oh, Davis. So delusional, but we need to make sacrifices. Tick's gonna kill me.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: I will save you.

STATIC STAN: Yeah, thank you. Die.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: No, i mean. I will just-

STATIC STAN: (shouting) I said die and leave me alone!

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: (angry) Stan, you betrayed me. That's why Tick is after you, you were friends, but you betrayed him. You TV-head! You wanna mess with me, you-

STATIC STAN: The only friend is my fame, my ratings, my audience and my Static Verse.

GENERAL 'MARSHMALLOW' DAVIS: (shouting) You fool! Stop the stupid bullcrap! (tearing up) We were a team, i thought we had a bond.

STATIC STAN: (bursts out laughing) Oh, God! Can you just leave and die already! I betray ever person i met. I use them to advance my plans, at the end they are nothing but a depressed chap, and the cycle continues. Until i reach my goal, until i reach my fame. My goal right now is totally ruined. I have lots of plans to make people love me, and you're not one of them.

(Davis aims his gun at Stan. The attic crashes. Tick and Penta are there.)

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK: You have gone on far too long, Stan. The season finale ends today.

STATIC STAN: (coughing) Oh, then let's make this one hell of a finale.

(A massive three-way shootout erupts, destroying the hotel lobby. An explosion sends Stan, Tick, and Davis flying out of the hotel.)

CHEESEBURGER: What's going on here now?!

CHEESY: I don't know, but we should- MY TV! (hugs his broken TV) My sweet TV is broken!

CHEESEBURGER: (sigh) How do we pay for damages?

ADAM DIAGONAL: Oooh, damages.

CHEESEBURGER: No, not those damages. Get out.

CHEESY: Those are harder to pay by the way.

---

EXT. HOTEL PIZZA - NIGHT

(Stan, Tick, and Davis land in different places. A car hits Davis. Stan and Tick face off in the street.)

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK: You are a disgrace to society, Stan! You can't let go of the past, you're stuck on ratings, fame, audience. It's modern now, there's streaming, viral videos. But you just wanna cause more problems and betray people! Move away from those dark 90s tropes!

STATIC STAN: I can't. It was my whole personality!

(They fight. Stan gains the upper hand and beats Tick severely.)

STATIC STAN: (panicked) Wait, Tick! Are you okay? You alive?!

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK: (struggling) S-S-Stan. Before i go-... Stan, i wanted to kill you. But you killed me, you were one hell of a narcassist. But at least you learnt something, you should be alive, Stan. Find something, find your fame, find who you are, Let go of the past. And that's what you will remember me for. My leaving might be bad, but it's a season finale. And it has been a banger. Bye, Stan. We Stan.

STATIC STAN: (smiling bittersweet) Bye, Tick. So long, my rootin'tootin' partner.

MR. TICK-A-CLOCK: So long, my daffodil. (laughs weak) I loved that show, I love you too.

(Tick dies. Stan cries over his body. The gang watches from a distance.)

TIFFANY: He killed him! He's gonna be arrested, right?

CHEESY: I loved that season finale.

CHEESEBURGER: Talk about police.

(Sirens are heard.)