Isabella

On Saturday morning, I find myself on my father’s private jet with my brother, Katy, Collin, Zack, Brandon, and Julie, heading to the Hamptons. Katy is sitting next to me, chatting about the puppies she rescued from the street yesterday.

“Do you want a beer, Bella?” Collin approaches our seats, offering me a bottle.

“No, thank you. You know I don’t drink beer, Collin.” I give him a small smile.

“Get out of here. Bella and I are chatting,” Katy snaps, shooing him away with her hands.

My best friend’s hostile attitude toward Collin doesn’t surprise me anymore, as she has been behaving like this for the past few weeks, even though I still don’t know why.

“What are you talking about? Are you talking about me?” Collin laughs, ignoring Katy’s glare as he brings the bottle to his lips.

“Leave us alone, Collin,” Katy hisses.

Collin narrows his eyes at her, then leans in and kisses me quickly on the lips before walking away.

“Why are you so rude to Collin, Katy?” I ask for what feels like the thousandth time.

Furrowing her eyebrows, she scoffs, “Because he’s annoying and clingy. Moreover, there is something about him that really bothers me. I mean, he’s polite and all, but there’s something off in his eyes.”

“What are you talking about? It’s Collin. He is one of our best friends, and we’ve known him for forever,” I retort, gaping at her, confused.

“Collin is one of your best friends, not mine. I don’t like him, and I never did. I don’t know why you’re even kissing him,” she snorts, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I’m not dating him.” I roll my eyes. “And how come you’ve never told me you don’t like him?”

“Because I never felt the need to—until now.” She lets out a sarcastic laugh. “I didn’t think you would actually start kissing him.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m attracted to him, and he is attracted to me. We’ve been friends for years. Not to mention, he is sweet, polite, and hot as hell.” I giggle.

“Still, I don’t believe you would rather kiss him than ask Daniel out, especially since you’re into Daniel, not Collin.” 

“Daniel would never go out with me, Katy. I went to his party, and it was a disaster—he spent the entire afternoon with a girl named Lucy.” I cringe. “He said they’re not dating, but he still let her stay glued to him the whole time.”

“Lucy was probably jealous of you and your looks, like all the other girls,” Katy remarks. “You’re gorgeous and smoking hot.”

“I gave Daniel a ride home last night,” I blurt out, my cheeks blushing.

“Really? How did that happen?” she pries, excited.

“I was leaving the school parking lot when I saw him standing alone at the bus stop, and before I could even think about it, I pulled over and offered him a ride,” I reply, smiling shyly.

“What did you talk about?” she presses eagerly. “Did he try to kiss you?”

“Not at all. I mean, Daniel hardly spoke to me. To be honest, I think he doesn’t feel comfortable around me.” I let out a frustrated sigh.

“Daniel isn’t the only one, Bella. You can be pretty intimidating—especially when you’re driving.” She laughs.

“What do you mean by that?” I huff, narrowing my eyes.

“I wouldn’t feel comfortable around you either if I didn’t know you,” she says, brushing off my question.

“I’m so frustrated because Daniel is the first boy I’ve actually been interested in, and he doesn’t even seem to notice me.” I take a sip from the glass of water in my hands. “Can you believe I think about Daniel’s eyes every time Collin kisses me?” I confess, blushing scarlet.

Staring at me suspiciously, Katy asks, “So that’s the real reason you finally kissed Collin? Because you want to be with Dan, but he doesn’t flirt with you or ask you out?”

“Dan?” I arch an eyebrow, silently questioning the nickname.

“Don’t give me that look, Bella.” She laughs, waving a dismissive hand. “And don’t change the subject.”

I turn to the window, watching the clouds drift by as I consider her words.

Am I going out with Collin because I’m frustrated about Daniel? I like Collin; I really do. Then why do Daniel’s blue eyes keep creeping into my thoughts every time Collin leans close? Why can’t I stop imagining what it would feel like to be held by him instead?

“Wow, Bella. Why are you blushing? What kind of thoughts are you having about Daniel?” Katy teases, her lips curling into a mischievous smile.

“What?” I gasp, my eyes widening. “It’s nothing like that,” I lie, even though my face gives me away.

“You’re such a bad liar. I can’t believe you finally met someone who makes you feel this way.” She winks playfully, laughing.

“Shhh, lower your voice,” I whisper, glancing around to make sure no one is listening.

She flashes me a crooked grin in return, nodding. “What about Collin? Have you ever talked to him about where your relationship stands?”

I shake my head. “I couldn’t bring myself to, because he has already made it clear that I’m his girlfriend and only his, even though I’m not ready to see him as my boyfriend yet. I mean, I’m not ready to take things any further with him.” I flinch at the mere thought of it.

“I still don’t get how you managed to keep things so uncomplicated with Zack for two whole years,” she comments, laughing, briefly glancing in Zack’s direction before looking back at me.

“I cared about Zack, and I still do, in a way.” I pause, choosing my words carefully. “But I never felt ready to give him all of myself because I didn’t trust him with that part of me.” I sigh. “Maybe there is something wrong with me, because I don’t feel ready with Collin either.” 

Saying it out loud makes my chest feel lighter, as if a weight has finally lifted.

“There is nothing wrong with you, Bella. You just don’t want to lose your innocence with someone you don’t trust enough,” Katy reassures me in a soothing tone. “Now tell me, girl, what are you even doing with Collin if you feel that way? Dump him already, just like you did with Zack.”

“I’m not going to dump Collin, Katy. I like him,” I retort, taking a sip of my cold water.

“Are you sure?” She gives me a pointed look. “Do you really like him enough to waste your precious time fooling around with someone you don’t fully trust?” She pauses, then sighs. “Sorry for prying, but didn’t Zack complain about you not being ready to take things further for two whole years?”

“Not really. Zack always respected me and never pressured me into anything I didn’t want to do—until he tried to kiss me when we broke up.” My jaw tightens at the memory.

“Zack is mad at Collin because the former still likes you,” Katy states, bringing her coffee to her lips.

I turn my gaze back to the window, choosing to stay silent. 

I feel bad for my ex, and I never wanted to hurt him… Though it might be too late for that, as he and Collin argued a few days ago and haven’t spoken since.

“You’re falling in love with Dan, aren’t you?” Katy rests a hand on my arm.

I turn to her, frowning. “Why would you say that?” 

“Come on, Bella. It’s obvious. You went to his birthday party without knowing his neighborhood, his family, or his friends, which is something you would never do if you weren’t falling for him.”

“That’s not true,” I pout, shaking my head vehemently.

She smirks, “You may be great at hiding your feelings, but I’m your best friend, and I know what’s going on in that head of yours. Besides, Justin told me you don’t stop talking about Dan.”

Instinctively, I glare at my brother, who is chatting with Brandon and Zack as he sips what I assume is coffee mixed with something alcoholic. “Freaking traitor,” I mutter under my breath, flipping him off.

“Talk to me, Bella, please,” Katy urges, her expression worried. “Don’t bottle up your feelings. Tell me the truth about Daniel. And don’t you dare lie because I can read you like an open book.”

“Daniel is different,” I finally admit after a moment. 

Talking about my deepest feelings has never been easy for me. Justin even calls me a robot sometimes, because I’ve learned how to lock everything away—something my father taught me when I was eight, after I fell off my bike, scraped my knees, and wailed like I was going to die.

“What do you mean by different?” Katy insists, one of her eyebrows shooting up. “You mean tall, blue-eyed, dark-haired, and underprivileged?”

I chuckle. “I know plenty of tall boys with dark hair and blue eyes, and I don’t care about Daniel’s social status.” I take a deep breath before continuing, “The way he looks at me is different, like he doesn’t see me as something to be claimed. When his gaze settles on me, it feels like he is trying to understand me, like he is reading between the lines. He doesn’t flirt with or push me. He just… sees me.” A soft smile forms on my lips as I finish.

Katy stares at me, 4speechless and stunned

“What?” I ask. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You are so in love with Dan,” she squeals, grabbing my hands. “You’re in love for the first time in your life.”

“Katy,” I cry as she squeezes too hard, causing me to spill water all over my lap. I jump up the moment the cold seeps through my jeans.

“Oops! Sorry.” She laughs. “But I’m way too excited to care about your jeans right now.” She pauses, her lips curving into a dazzling smile . “You’re in love, Bella.”

“Who’s in love? My sister?” Justin pops up out of nowhere, taking in my wet jeans and my scowl. “What happened? Didn’t make it to the bathroom in time?” he jokes, bursting into laughter.

Katy immediately follows suit, laughing right along with him. “Bella is in love for the first time in her life, Jus,” she manages to say seconds later.

“So we’re talking about Daniel, huh?” he smirks, wiping a tear from laughing too hard. “Yeah. My sister is completely in love with that guy,” he confirms, nodding.

“I am not in love with Daniel. Stop teasing me,” I hiss, narrowing my eyes at the people who are supposed to be on my side. “And my jeans are ruined thanks to you, Katy.” I point an accusatory finger.

“Does Collin know you’re in love with Daniel?” Justin asks casually, taking another sip from his drink.

“I told you—I’m not in love with Daniel,” I huff, rolling my eyes.

“Daniel did invite you over to his place again,” my brother adds.

“Wait a minute. How come I didn’t know about that?” Katy jumps up from her seat, glaring daggers at me. “Tell me everything, Bella.”

“Daniel didn’t invite me,” I reply flatly. “His mother did.”

“Oh my gosh,” she gasps, covering her mouth with her hands dramatically. “Your future mother-in-law is already inviting you over. So when is the wedding?” She then bursts into laughter along with my brother.

“I’m done with this conversation,” I groan, “I’m going to change into a skirt because you ruined my jeans, Katy.”

I grab a skirt from my bag and stomp toward the bathroom, desperate to escape their teasing. By the time I finish changing and head back to my seat, Justin and Katy are still deep in conversation, causing me to hesitate, and then decide to sit next to Collin instead. I don’t want to talk about Daniel anymore—I don’t want to spend the entire weekend thinking about his eyes and that breathtaking smile.

“Are you ready to celebrate my birthday with me?” Collin asks, pulling me closer until I’m practically forced to sit on his lap.

Something in his tone—or maybe the smile on his face—makes my stomach tighten. To make matters worse, Daniel’s face flashes through my mind, betraying my denial about my growing feelings for him.

“Bella?” Collin presses, his gaze lingering in a way that makes me uncomfortable, as if he is expecting something from me.

“I’m ready to enjoy your party with our friends and my brother,” I reply carefully, offering him a small smile.

“Oh, we’re going to have a lot of fun,” he says huskily before leaning in and kissing me. “I’m really glad we’re finally together,” he adds, winking. “I can’t wait to spend some time alone with you.”

Suddenly, Katy’s words echo in my mind—“there’s something off in his eyes”.

“You’re the best birthday present I could ask for,” he murmurs, his breath warm against my neck as his closeness makes my stomach twist, panic flaring in my chest.

I jerk away and take a steadying breath. “Stop it, Collin. There is something I need to tell you—”

“What is it?” he asks, leaning in again, clearly not listening.

Fear prickles under my skin as I jump out of his lap and head toward Katy and Jus without looking back. “I’m going to sit with Katy.”

As I walk past Katy and Justin, who are still chatting about something trivial, I cannot help wishing I were at Daniel’s house right now, playing princess with Rose and eating his mom’s cake.

Who am I kidding? Daniel is probably spending the weekend with Lucy.

I end up sitting alone at the back of the jet, spending the rest of the trip lost in my thoughts, trying—and failing—to forget the boy who wasn’t supposed to catch my attention and my heart.

* * *