A messenger rushes into the royal nursery, where I am playing with my eldest son. I shoot the messenger a glare.

“How dare you interrupt my time with the Prince, what could possibly be so urgent that you dare to barge in here unannounced?"

“I apologize, your Majesty!” the messenger says, bowing deeply before continuing  “But you ordered us to alert you as soon as Sir Aquilo arrives back at the palace!”

When I hear this, I suddenly feel like a child who has just received a precious gift, but that feeling is quickly extinguished by the cold waters of reality. It has been a year and a half since Aquilo left for the Northern border, and six months since I urgently summoned him back. It is very likely that he holds some resentment towards me, but… I cannot stop myself from wanting to see him again.

“Tell him to meet me in the courtyard.” I say to the messenger, who nods and immediately leaves to convey the message.

I leave my son to the nanny and don my most regal attire before heading out into the snowy courtyard. Aquilo is already waiting there, and when I look at him, the drifting snowflakes seem to freeze in place. We lock eyes and I notice that his face, which was once bright with the vitality of youth, seems to have aged. As he looks into my eyes, I can’t help but feel as though he has come to the same conclusion about me. But soon the moment passes, and Aquilo kneels before me like he has always done. 

“Greetings, your Majesty. I offer you my condolences for the loss of Queen Selene, but I congratulate you on the birth of Prince Siris and Prince Seth.”

His distant greeting gives me the urge to slap him, but I don’t. “Thank you, Sir Aquilo, for your well wishes. How was your journey back from the Northern front? I hope that you do not resent me for summoning you back.” 

I scan his face for any sign of emotion, but Aquilo is as expressionless as ever as he replies.

 “I do not dare to question your orders, your Majesty, and will always carry them out faithfully without resentment.”

And now I snap. “Aquilo, do you truly not care for me at all? It has only been two years since we last met, yet you treat me like a stranger. Do you hate me that much because I summoned you back from the North? I may have agreed to your request to leave back then, but I never said that I would allow you to stay there forever!” 

At last, my words seem to have broken through his icy shell, I can see on his face a mix of shock, sorrow, and regret, swirling together like the winds of a winter storm. He remains silent for a moment. 

“Your Majesty…no, Helios, ever since we came to the palace, to me you are like the sun in the sky, and I have never hated you, not even for a moment. But as the sun, your existence is something that I, as your Knight, can only admire from a distance. When I saw Queen Selene and you together, I thought you were perfectly matched, like the sun and the moon, and I… couldn’t bear to see you both shining so brilliantly together.”

Hearing his words, I feel like the icy, turbulent sea of my emotions has finally settled. I look at him, and finally come to an understanding. As the sun, even the strongest winds don’t dare to approach me lest they fall to their desires like Icarus. Only the moon can fly high in the sky, but the light she provides is only a reflection.

If only I had never become the sun.

I lift Aquilo to his feet, and the world around us crumples.