A jolt of bitter morning coffee coats my mouth,

The words resurface like a vinyl stuck on its tune- not hers nor Julia’s, but the ones written on that note. Hours have passed since Julia stormed out of the room. The coffee shop's sign reflects in a puddle outside. Its clarity is deteriorating with each ripple. Julia’s room remains empty, no signs of her in her safe space. The irony of life: for once, my grasp on it had felt strong. Something I haven’t felt in what seems like an eternity.

But the shadow within me still lurks in the darkness. I thought silence would help, and there she was, far off in the distance. Her light now dimmed by the wrong shepherd's hands. A truth tainted by deceit and malice. Control ripped from my hands, the tide too powerful to swim in. “She’s gonna come around.” 

Nathan reflexively leans on the metal bar, a supportive tone leaving its trail. “I know, just hate seeing her like this.” Nathan reflects on the metal bar, pausing as he studies his words. “Lies fade faster than love.” I scoff, struck by the irony of it all. “Love-Cate destroyed that.” His fist playfully lands against my right shoulder.” Oh come on, Mr Melancholic,” his lips turn pink once the water hits his lips.”Cate’s a different case, complex. But she’s trying to atone.” His subtle finger points towards Julia. “Julia’s different; she’ll come around.” With sudden realization, she’s gone.

 The street’s peaceful silence was left behind.

The lockscreen turns bright, each time a grim reminder of the vacant feeling left behind. “I’m such an idiot,” before my words can fall, his cut through mine. “Someone wants to drag you down, don’t play into their hands.”  People remain in contact with me. The man's doors to my mind, still asking why. “Ethan,” his sincere gaze leaves me unfazed. “Go.”  My legs remain anchored, the damage already done. Why bother mending it? The air remains fresh, a sudden silence overcoming us. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” The sliding door behind me is shut, as I shuffle towards the restroom. The mirror offers me solace, the grim reminder of the person I am. People always tend to lie; it’s getting difficult to see the line.

  Everything, tainted by my guilt. Julia would be shining if she never met me. Cate wouldn’t have ruined my life if I hadn’t drunk the night we met. My parents wouldn’t be dead if the altercation in school never happened. Water splashes against my face, hoping that it could wash away the guilt I bear. “Pathetic,” I mumble, the words dancing off my tongue in ease. My thumb hovers over Cate's text, not wanting to witness what happened. Curiosity reels me in as the app opens. Shock courses through my veins; the photo she sent holds a disturbing “truth.” The parcel was loaded with photos of herself. One of the deepest infringements of privacy.

 My gaze flows over the indecent photos of her, not wanting to see them. There she was, brushing her hair, coming out of the shower, or changing clothes. The text after read” Ethan, I know about our past, but this is pushing lines. Lines even I didn’t push.” Someone’s stalking her like prey. This wasn’t a fun joke; it’s a small cogwheel of a great plan. Life spirals out of its lane once Nexus enters mine. Someone’s dirt-covered shovel is burying me 10 feet in the land of the deceased. Like a river, the adrenaline flows through me. Each limb tingling with the wrecking sensation of panic. “You think I’m that keen on revenge to stalk you?” My thumbs flow across the keyboard,” Cate, whatever you think. That wasn’t me.”

Someone’s out there, ruining my life. My steps pace around the room. The sent status of my text, sending distress through me. I leave the restroom shut. Nathan is sitting at the kitchen table. “What are you still doing here?” I swing the jacket around my body, “Not right now, Nate.” The door swings open as I walk down the stairs. My feet remain anchored to the ground, fresh air flowing into my nostrils. Breathe. Darkness surrounds me as my eyes shut. Nathan is right, I have to set the record straight. It’s the least I can do for her. The usual brief walk of 5 minutes now feels like an endless elevator ride. 

My intentions keep me walking. All the things, I’ll tell her. I can’t turn back; this has to be done. When I stand before her house, my jittery fingers hover above the ring button. The sound, only feeding into my rising anxiety. My body remains restless,  blood flowing through my body. Fingers tingling. Then my fingers pull back as I’m turning to walk away. Leave’s scrunch beneath me, the sidewalk wet from the rain. “Fuck just do it!” With a change of heart, the button sinks into its circular form. A simple ringtone plays afterwards. The second, Julia opens the door, shutting it instantly the moment we lock eyes. “Julia!” I knock, no answer. “Julia, please!” Her steps never retreated. My back slides down the wall, staring at the street. “I promise, Julia.” I pick at my skin, fighting my brain from going blank. “You really think I’d hurt you?” Silence drags its feet.

 “Someone’s trying to ruin my wreck of a life.”

 My head sinks into my knees. Thoughts rumbling like a storm. “Someone?” a single word, emanating from the other side. “Ethan, you sound delusional.” A faint shifting is heard on the other side. “There’s no one trying to ruin your life.” She believes a note left by a stranger more than me? “Seriously Jules?,” my next words, I choose them wisely. “You’re just gonna trust some random stranger's words over mine.” The lethal silence remains. “Whatever, at least I tried.” With the agonizing frustration of myself, my feet remain frozen. I dial Cate’s number. “Cate, fuck.” The leaves scrunch continuously beneath my racing feet.

 “What do you want?” Her voice leaves a harsh trail of hurt behind. “Cate, please, you gotta believe me.” The world around me fades into a blur. “Someone’s trying to ruin my life.” She scoffs in disbelief. “Ruin your life? You sound crazy.”Prove it.” The world's blur vanishes, as the world now turns sharp. “I can’t,” I exhale, a small cloud forming in the air. “Someones out there. Please, I need someone.” My voice sounds frail, weak from the exhaustion. Her breath hitches as she seems to study the situation.”Fine, meet me at my place.” The same girl responsible for shattering my dignity and self-worth is now the only person willing to hear my part of the story.