Walls stare back at me, their daisy white colours portraying innocence. The sound of cooking water is audible from the kitchen. Cate would always hum, even when trying to focus. She would never get tired of our song. She strides into the room, two cups of fruit tea in her hands. “There you go, fruit tea with a sprinkle of sugar.” The teaspoon stirs, and the water spirals into a miniature tornado on the cup's surface.

 “Ethan, I appreciate this. You're approaching me.” The cup's warmth spreads through my body, my fingers wrapped around the cup's arm. A subtle scoff leaves me,” You think I’m lying. Again.” The scent of fruit leaves a trail in the air, “It’s not like you ever trusted my words anyway.” A colorful wave of fruit coats my tongue. “Ever tried the police station?”

 I pause, choosing certainty over recklessness. “And tell ‘em what?” I take another sip. “That my life is deteriorating, and someone’s at fault for it?” My shoulders raise, then drop. “I’ll just sound delusional.” She sighs, the situation adding layers of complexity.

 “I guess you’re right.” The painting on the wall resembles beauty. The blue waves are crashing against the cliff. “I’m sorry.” Her eyes connect with mine. eyebrows raised and eyes squinting. “I’ve been kind of a dick, lately.” Her pupils fall, that smile dropping faster than snow. “Am I able to forgive you?” The pause turns desperate, “I don’t know, but I’d like to try.” Cate’s head turns towards the window, a bird resting before flying away. The crushing weight of hatred and pain leaves me defenseless. Sleepless nights, wasted. Pondering if maybe it was my fault all along. “Cate, I need someone.” Each limb of mine tingles from the sensation of anxiety. 

Something has changed between Julia and me. “It’s all my fault.” Cate gets closer, her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t say that.” I’m not happy, I never was. What’s the point of pretending? “I’m just a depressed kid in his 20’s.” My head sinks. “Aimless and worthless.” The silence stretches, each second turning volatile.”No matter what I do.” My adams apple drives down as I swallow. “Everything goes to shit.” Her words, I can feel them. Stuck on the edge. “Stop!” she sighs, pointing towards my heart. “This pain in here isn’t your doing.” She takes small sips from her tea. “We can do this, you and Julia.” She pauses. “I can try to mend your wounds.” Her desperate face remains hopeful. “Fix me?” adrenaline courses through my legs. “That's what this is about?” Small sips wet my lips. “You’re trying to fix me?” I hastily get up. Each vein pumps energy. “Like I’m just a wounded animal seeking shelter?” Her hands reach for mine. “Don’t touch me.” 

Her helpless eyes stare at me. I have to get out. “Ethan, I’m sorry.” Her steps follow mine. “I didn’t mea-“ the door shuts as I run towards the exit. The steps blurred from the tears forming in my eyes. I’m nothing but incompetent. A wasteful survivor. Why ruin a life so unimportant? Why me. My usual night shift starts today; there’s still time to spend. Like a lost lamb, my destination undetermined. My reflection settles in the glass of the music shop. The girl's face shining like the sun, embracing her mom. Mom’s scent would not leave my mind.-Her jacket’s aroma resting on the brown leather. My nose would always plunge itself into the somber smell of her. This jacket was her second skin. The glass mirror my tear-holding eyes. The woman turns around, a sense of empathy emanating from her. as she waves me inside. “Hey, are you okay?”

 My eyes dart towards the ground. Fighting the flood tearing itself through my eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be weird.” My fingers rub against each other. “It’s just you two remind me of someone.” My air pipes feel tightened up, heartbeat only increasing. “No, sweetie, why are you crying?” The woman looks at me, sympathy arching over her. “My mom, she’s-,” the words remain stuck in me as I choke up. The woman drops her bags somewhere safe, stepping out of anyone's ways. “Oh no sweetie, I’m so sorry, may I hug you?” A gentle nod escapes me. 

 I require a trip, somewhere isolated. The woods, mom would always sound so afraid, “You love the woods, don’t ya?. don’t end up lost, on me.” Mom’s anxiety-driven eyes would always drop, a smile of relief shining from her. The forest was always my comfort place, where exploration and wonder would keep me entertained. What should happen, right? 

After all, it was a hot spot for teens; they’d always hang out by the lodge. Especially the campfire. A soothing silence, embraced by the fires crackling and the wind soaring above. 

Only a few more hours, and the harsh reality of watching monitors flicker and eerie corridors. Julia didn’t text me, guess she’s still mad. I’ll need to find a way to proof this false tip wrong. The buildings obstruct the green trees, leading into the forest. Gravel roads, dirt roads. Roadkill laying next to the forest’s road, their glassy eyes empty. My phone lights up as I check the time. Another six hours. Spending time alone is different, peaceful, and yet so terrifying. There's a new beginning hidden in the dents of my painted walls. “Ethan!” Her sudden voice surprises me, and Diana’s dog is circling her legs.

 “How have you been?” The tension within me withdraws, the sudden choice of withholding the truth leaving me unresolved. “Been better, doesn’t matter though.” I cough, drinking some water. “What’s it like being- well, happy?” She pauses, affected by the question. A somber look resting on her. She doesn’t answer at first. Her smile now faltering. “What makes you think I don’t struggle?” Her dog would always wait for her return, panting with big eyes.

 And that adorable face, where was he? “Hey, Diana, where’s your dog?” The passing seconds weigh like anchors stuck in the ground below. “He’s uh-“ she halts, her movements stiff and drawn back. “Had to put him down last week.” Diana’s fingers trace the rim of her to-go coffee cup. “He’d always rest in front of the house door, jumping at me.” Her breath stutters for a fraction of a second. “His cute barking whenever he was excited.” A shudder travels through my body, a cold tingle climbing down the length of my spine. I admire her strength and resilience; she lost someone she loved. And yet she dares to face the world's problems each day. A lone traveler searching for something worth fighting for.