Content Warning:
References to past abuse, trauma flashbacks, and emotionally intense scenes.

Luann ring the doorbell.

“Grandma, I’m here!”

The door swung open, the aroma of dishes greeting her. Aunt Maria cheered.

“Oh my gosh, my little nephew have grown up!”

“What are you talking about auntie,” she laughed, “I’m 27 this year and my cousins have all married.”

“That’s right! When are we going to get your invitation, hmm? Any prospects yet?”

“Maria, stop that, kids nowadays wants to chase career first, you know.” Aunt Annie put down another dish.

“Hi Auntie! Where’s my mom at?”

“Oh, she’s helping with the deserts there. By the way, have you heard, Luann? Cousin Brandon is going to have his firstborn in a month!”

“Oh my, really?”

“Yes, he was looking for you earlier to give the baby shower invitation!”

Luann grinned. It was nice for aunt Annie to switch the topic, but this topic isn’t very helpful either…

“Gosh, ask the girl about how she’s doing first before you all rant to her about her love life, would you?”

“Grandma!”

Grandma smiled, strolling in the room in her wheelchair.

“Oh my gosh mom, why don’t you tell me? I can help push you-“

“For goodness’ sake I’m not that old, Hannah.”

She turned to Luann.

“How are you doing nowadays, darling?”

“Good!” Luann grinned. She hesitated for a while.

“I got into another relationship!” she whispered, “And I think this one’s gonna last!”

“Haha, really? Do you have a picture?”

Luann slipped the photo strips from the amusement park.

“O my gosh, this fine gentleman? I’m glad that you finally get your eyes fixed, darling.”

“Ouch.”

“But how is he? Is he nice?”

“Hmm… he’s nice. He’s stoic and cold at first and never really talk much, but he’s very caring. He’s also loves to cook and is very good at playing guitar and singing.”

“And he’s hot too. A dreamboat.”

“Grandma!”

Grandma laughed.

“Well, if you really like him, then I look forward to the wedding invitation, kid.”

A young lady rushed into the room.

“My, Luann??”

Deborah? The last time they met was 10 years ago, before Deborah went abroad to study. She was very pretty as a girl – Luann and the other cousins would call her barbie, and boys would offer her flowers wherever she went. She’s still a beauty now… her skin smooth as porcelain, her silky hair flowing down her back.

“DEBORAH?? ACCKK, IT HAVE BEEN SO LONG!!”

“I KNOW, I MISSED YOUU!!”

“Sorry I missed your wedding, I was in the middle of my deployment and wasn’t allowed to leave…”

“Don’t sweat it!” Deborah leaned closer, “What about you, cousin? Any boy you’d marry?”

“GAH, NOT YOU TOO!”

“You know that you can’t be too old if you want kids too, right?”

“Yes, yes!”

***

Guitar melodies played delicately.

Oh my, if only Cain played his guitar romantically like that when she arrived. And why is he not replying to her texts? Is he not happy that they finally meet again in two years?

“Il mio cuore batte forte, fiori nelle mani, ma i piedi sono freddi.
Finalmente, presto ti terrò tra le braccia: lo sento~”

That voice! Luann turned to find Cain in a suit, a rose in his pocket, playing guitar. Luann blushed. So it was Cain.

“Stanotte l’odore delle rose ha riempito l’aria d’inverno.
È la notte in cui ballerò solo con te, sotto i lampioni”

Cain stood up and bowed, offering his hand.

Luann’s heart thumped. She smiled and nodded.

“Chi c’era iniziò a girare, e la gente sussurrava
E l’orchestra suona un valzer.
Chi c’era iniziò a girare sotto un cielo di stelle e seta.
L’unica cosa che vedo in questa stanza sono le rose nei tuoi occhi”

The two laughed, dancing to the beats. The night air now felt warm, as street lamps lit up, basking the couple in faint glows.

“How was your deployment, Commander?”

“It-it was decent -oh-!”

Cain gently swung her up before they twirled again.

“I thought you liked dancing, Commander?”

“Hey, I do, ok?”

“Sure, you do,” Cain softly grinned, the two now swaying to the fading guitar. Luann blushed.

Cain took the rose out of his pocket and tucked it behind her ear.

“I’m glad to meet you again, Commander.”

“Did you make plans for the night or something?”

“Yes, I made reservations for dinner, and-“

“Ooh, can we hit the bar after that? I want a beer-“

“No, no beer.”

“Vodka?”

“Oh hell naw.”

“By the way,” Luann clinged to his arm, “My cousins are already asking when it’s our turn, you know.”

“Your cousins ask everyone that.” Cain chuckled.

“See? The texture of the paste should just be smooth but chewy like this, and the cheese should melt evenly.”

Luann and Cain exchanged looks and nodded. They continued the video tutorial.

“Now, for the final step! Carefully pour the paste into each layer, and arrange the fillings like this…”

Cain’s hand trembled, arranging the fillings. Luann’s fingers also trembled. Only because Cain likes cooking, doesn’t mean he’s good at it. Neither is she. This is their fifth failed dish – good thing they’re both good at eating.

“…aaaannndd, ta-da, your autumn special lasagna is done!”

They threw their hands in the air and cheered. Luann looked at Cain.

“You know the next step, right?”

“Take pictures?”

“Wrong, go to the park and enjoy the last day of summer!”

“Ok-”

“Wait, just kidding! Of course we should take pictures of our first successful dish!”

They sat together, enjoying the calm atmosphere and faint laughter of families. Luann cleared her throat.

“Cain… have you ever thought about our future? I mean—long term?”

What do you want to be when you grow up, kid? The priest asked.

You! The boy giggled.

“I think about a lot of things. Just… not in clear ways yet.”

“Hmm? What are those things?”

Cain stirred his food.

“Can we talk about it later? I don’t want to ruin tonight.”

Luann’s heart stung but she forced a smile. Maybe it’s just too serious?

A couple of toddlers ran past them.

“Aww, aren’t they cute? What do you think about kids, Cain?”

Cain flinched. Blood, chains, and a chained hand of a dragged boy flashed through his mind.

“I don’t like them.”

“What, why??”

“Is there a reason I should give you?” Cain sighed and looked away.

Cain fiddled his fingers nervously. It was not like Luann to ask for a date in a café. Is she going to bring that up again-?

“Can we talk about marriage?”

Cain froze. Luann sighed.

“You seriously make me feel bad, but I need to know if you see a future with me. I’m not asking for a ring tomorrow—I just… need to know we’re heading somewhere.”

Blood, chains, and the sounds of whips echoed through his mind. His skin stung. Then his mind shifted to Father Sebastian.

You know marriage is an equally good option, right?

No Father, I want to be a priest and dedicate my life like you!

Haha, you’re one strong headed kid. Just know that if one day that path chooses you, you should open your heart to it.

Cain hesitated. Then, it should be ok, right- ?

Luann looked at him.

Cain frowned. Abel’s face popped up on his mind. Did he only date Luann because she reminded him of that bright boy? Would he desire her touch as much as his’, or replace his warmth? But was it eroticism that he felt, when the little boy laid in chains, and 73 came over to him, tending to his wounds? 73 never tortured or humiliated him – yet if he ever did, or will do, he doesn’t think he’d mind.

Cain bit his lip.

“Did you meet up with your family again?”

“Excuse me? And why would it matter?”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s only that if they keep on pressuring, you for marriage-“

“HEY!”

Cain flinched.

“You’re obnoxious at times, you know that? What makes you assume that? Yes, maybe they did put a little pressure, but what if I want that too? What am I doing here, wasting years with you, hoping dumbly that you’ll propose to me someday? I’m not getting any younger!”

“I…- I care about you. More than you know. I just don’t—”

Cain clawed his hands.

“…Can we not do this right now?”

“Ha…” Luann ruffled her hair. She laughed.

“You know, they said brothers aren’t that different from each other, and I guess it’s true with you too, huh? It’s never right now, Cain.”

“I’m trying…”

“If you can’t even talk about us, what am I waiting for? “

“I just… don’t know- I don’t know...”

“Yeah? While you’re at it, with a face card like yours, why don’t you date fifty girls like your brother, huh? We’re done.”

Cain cried, burying his face in his bleeding hands.