I cleaned up the water I had spilled all over the living room. I’m just so… mad. What did I do? Why did I do that? I couldn’t tell him that some guys have been teasing/making jokes. I can’t tell him I’ve fought people because of us. Fuck!!!!

I packed my things and left to Daniel’s. They showed me my room and asked about Alexis. I had told them about both of us moving in if I did move in with them. I told them it was just me and they didn’t ask anything else. They exchanged looks and just watched as I unpacked. I kept going out just to get him off my mind but I couldn’t.

I’m so drunk right now. I know I shouldn’t have posted pictures with girls. I want to make him jealous. He’s going to be surrounded by guys. Maybe he’ll come back. He won’t go on the trip if I make him jealous. 

“Hey can he use the bathroom!?” A short brown-haired girl asked with her friend.

“Yeah I can show you guys where it’s at!” I shouted back so they could hear over the music.

“I’ll wait for you down here!” She told him. He nodded and we went up the stairs behind me.

“It’s right there I told him.” He thanked me and closed the door. I walked to my room and sat on the bed. I checked to see if he had seen my story yet. He saw my earlier story of us taking shots, saw one I posted of my beer, but still hasn’t seen the rest. I exit the app, open it again and refresh. He saw everything. I checked his profile and saw he had posted. See him with a shirtless dude in a warehouse.

“Are you not coming back down?” He started walking towards my room but stopped at the door way.

I kept staring at the picture feeling jealous and angry. No, it was fear. But I masked it with anger. “Uhh yeah maybe.” I told him.

“I’m Lorenzo, I’m a sophomore.” He started taking a few steps into my room. I swiped out so he didn’t see I was on his story.

I looked up. “I’m Mathew, I'm a junior.” He was a short guy around 5’5, black hair, on the shorter side that curled a little bit. No facial hair.

“I know,” he smiled and looked away. I had my light off so the light from the hallway and my phone were the only light source. “So umm… I heard a rumor about you.” He didn’t continue.

 “Yeah?” I asked.

“Is it true you aren’t straight?” He looked nervous as he asked.

“Yeah” I kept it short. I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I saw your story pop up again. You posted a second ago.

“Can I add you?” He pointed at my phone. 

I handed him my phone and he sat down to my left. I had my hands hanging down by my legs as I slouched over. He smiled as he typed in his username. You could hear the music in the background coming from down stairs.

I saw the flash and I squinted, I moved my face to the side. “Why do you look so sad?” He laughed. 

I smiled and chuckled. “Stop, give me it.” I told him while laughing. I hit my phone and I knocked it out of his hand. We both went to grab it. 

“Sorry it posted.” He told me while handing my phone back. 

“It’s fine.” I took it back and looked at it. I saw the circle around it but didn't click it. 

“So… do you want to stay up here?” He laid back on his arms, “or go back to the party?” He looked me up and down. Stayed looking at my pants before looking at my face again. 

I stared at him for a few seconds. I knew what he wanted. I could do it, he was a cute guy. Not even that I couldn’t do it. I just didn’t want to. I had zero interest. Even if Alexis is doing something. I only want you. “Let’s go back down.” I told him.

 He got up,“Okay.” He walked to the doorway. “I’ll see you down there?”

I looked at the video. It was just me moving away from the camera while he talks before I push it and it flips. You can see him before it falls. I don’t delete it and I go back to the party. I went back down to enjoy the party. I ended up getting beer spilled on me so I took off my shirt. My tank stuck to me and lifted a bit because it got wet. A girl recorded her touching my abs before I pulled the tank top down. It’s white so you can see through it. They start talking and laughing and try to touch me again but I don’t let them. I move their hands and tell them I’m not interested.

***

I flew home like I had planned and my dad picked me up from the airport. I told him Alexis was on a work trip. My mom greeted me once I got home. “Oh you look tired, was the plane ride bad?” She hugged me for a few seconds before my dad came in from the garage after me. “Where’s Alexis? 

“He’s on a work trip. He’ll be here on the Saturday.” I told her. I still didn’t know how things would go down. Would we talk? Would he just go to his parents? 

“There’s food if you're hungry.” She told me. 

“I’ll have it tomorrow morning. I’m going to shower and go to sleep.” I grab my bags and head to my room. I haven’t slept alone in this room in so many years this feels weird. We always stay here when we come home.

The next morning I came downstairs, my mom was cleaning the kitchen. “Want me to heat up the food?” 

“Yes please, thank you mom.” She put a plate in the microwave. “Is dad working?” 

She nods, “He’s in his office.” 

“What are the plans this week?” I asked when she handed me my plate. 

“Well since you and Alexis were going to be in town, we decided to host this year.” She took out a stool and sat at the counter across from me on the island. “You should have told me in advance he wasn’t going to be here. Your Aunt Jackey wanted to host aswell.”

I didn’t want to talk about Alexis right now. “You could call her and tell her she can.” I chew my food, “I don’t mind.” 

“Well it’s a little late for that. We already bought everything for the dinner, and everyone is coming over.” God I hate having a mom that’s a lawyer sometimes. I know she’s dying to dig for more information. I can see it in her eyes “So what time does Alexis get here?” 

“I don’t know mom. I just know he flies in on Saturday.” I continue eating my food hoping she doesn’t ask more questions. 

“You haven’t talked to him?” She plays with her bracelet. I can feel her catching on.

“No he’s working.” I eat faster to avoid the conversation going.

“Okay okay, I’m just asking. What are you doing today?” 

“I’m going out with the guys. Marco and Jace are home so we’re going to meet up.” 

“Alright, I guess I’ll just order food for me and your father.”

Later on I met up with Marco and Jace. We ate some food and caught up. They of course asked me about Alexis. I kept it short saying he was fine and hell be coming soon.

“I think he told me you would come first when I talked to him last week.” Marco told us. He didn’t mention our fight or Marco would have brought it up. 

“So how are the two of you? I guess you guys are the only ones still together. Haha.” Jace looks at Marco. He and Kaylie have broken up. “I’m kidding bro, well I guess Stephanie and Logan are too.” 

“We’re good.” I tell him. 

“That’s good to hear.” Marco looks at me. “At least you guys already lived together so you didn’t have to get used to that.”

“You don’t get jealous with him around other guys?” Jace asked. 

“Why would I be jealous?” I told him in a serious, annoyed tone. I was already thinking about what he had been posting. 

“If he was my girl I don’t know. I would trust them but always being up close with different dudes would make me feel a type of way.” Jace replied. Marco kept eying me to see my reaction. 

When we finished eating we went out to a bar. The more I drank the more I thought about him. I was pretty drunk now. “I miss him. I want Alexis.”

“He’s not here. Stand up straight. It’s hard for us to get you out and you’ll cause a scene.” Marco told me but I didn’t care. Jace and I are still 20 and Marco barely turned 20.

Next thing I remember they were unlocking my door and bringing me inside my house. I remember hearing my moms voice. 

“Sorry Mrs.Conners, we umm had some drinks.” 

“I’m glad you brought him home. Can you boys drive? You can stay here.” Mathew’s mom closed her sleeping robe.

“It’s okay, I didn’t drink. Marco told Mathew’s mom. 

“Okay,” she stared then down. “Can you take him to his room please?” 

“Yes of course.” Marco told her as they go to the stairs. They threw me on the bed and I passed out. 

The next day my head hurt. The guys texted me asking if I was fine. I went downstairs to eat some breakfast. 

“How are you feeling?” My mom asked. 

“I’m fine. Just a small headache.” I rubbed my face.

“You shouldn’t be drinking that much.”

“I know,” she passed me a plate of breakfast. “Are you guys doing anything today?”

“No, why?”

“I planned on spending the day with Alexis’s family.”

“That’s nice, they probably miss you as much as they miss Alexis.” 

After I finish eating I go shower to go over to his parents house. When I got there his dad was gone so I spent most of my day with his sisters and mom. I teased them about boys and how they will start getting guys trying to get their attention. I told them no guy deserves them and they were grosses out. I told them their to pretty like their brother and they cringed. Their mom laughed. Once Alex got home from work we had dinner and I left after. If it wasn’t for his sisters I would still struggle a lot to talk to his mom. 

On Thanksgiving morning I woke up to the smell of food. My mom isn’t the best cook so I knew my aunts had to be helping. I went down and saw Aunt Jackey cooking almost everything and my mom helping her out. I said hi and sat at the island to eat some breakfast. 

At around noon everyone had started coming over. We had the football game on the tv. The dining room table was set and the food was getting ready to be served. My grandma and my aunt were the last ones to arrive. 

“Hi my handsome grandson.” She kissed my check. “You look bigger and more handsome than last time I saw you.” 

“Thank you grandma.” 

“Where's that pretty boyfriend of yours?” She looked around from her wheelchair. 

“He’s not here. He’s on a work trip.” 

“Oh well I guess, good for him.” 

The house was full of kids now and men in the living room. My mom and my aunt started setting food and we started to eat. I asked my uncle if he wanted another beer. I got us both one and I could see my mom watching me. 

“You’re really becoming a star huh?” My uncle told me. “I hear the guys I work with know your name because of Basketball.” 

“Oh yeah?” I sip my beer. 

“If you get that popular with football we might see you on the tv in two years.” He points at the tv. 

“Haha, we’ll see.” 

“My nephew wants to go to the same school as you. Maybe you could help him out?” 

“Yeah of course. Call me when ever.” 

I grab us another beer. “Mathew I think you had enough.” My mom tells me. 

“Mom, it's one beer.” I gave the other beer to my uncle.

“You've been drinking since we finished eating.”

“Come on sis, he’s with family, it’s a holiday. It’s not like he’s going to be driving.” He taps my hand. Giving me the okay for me to drink but I catch her looking at my dad. She motions to me drinking. 

When everyone had left I went to get another beer out of the fridge. My mom was cleaning up in the kitchen whipping things down. I opened the fridge and saw her staring at me from the corner of my eye. I go to pop the cap off. 

“Don’t you think you’ve drank enough already?” She stands up straight. “You’ve been drinking since we had dinner.”

“Oh my god mom, I’m not even drunk.” I tell her. I take a sip. I hear the tv pause and foot steps coming from the living room. 

“The other day you come home blacked out carried by your friends. Today you’ve been drinking all day. This is a bit much don’t you think?” My dad starts entering when she finishes her sentence.

I rolled my eyes, “I literally haven’t seen them in months. I had one to many drinks that all. I don’t think it’s a big deal that I got a little drunk with my friends. It’s not like you don’t know I’ve been drinking since I was in high school.”

“You’ve never come home drunk like that during high school. You couldn’t even walk.” My dad stands on the other side of the island by her. He leans back on the counter watching our conversation. “You finished a whole case by yourself.”

I don’t say anything back to her. I want to take another sip but I don’t because their both starting at me. “Do I look drunk right now? I’ll be 21 in haft a year so I don’t see why it’s becoming such an issue all of a sudden.”

“Is this why your grades have been dropping? You're drinking?”

“I already talked to you guys about it. They're not that bad, besides I’m an adult. If they're bad it’s my problem not yours. It’s not like you’re paying my tuition.” I take another drink from my beer bottle.

“Mathew.” My dad tells me.

“Well we’re your parents. We're going to be worried about you. Not only with the drinking issue, but also you are not going to classes as well.” 

I knew when she got that from Alexis I just know it. “How do you know about that? Alexis?” 

“I’ve been emailing with your head of sports since before you even started Mathew. You think I wouldn’t check in on how you’re doing in school when you wouldn’t tell me?”I didn’t think they would tell her. “What about Alexis? Alexis can tell me anything he would like.”

“I don’t want you talking to Alexis.” I tell her. I set my beer and free hand on the counter staring them down but mainly my mother. 

“Why wouldn’t I be talking to him? He’s dating my son? I can talk to him if I like.” She is starting to make me mad now. At first I was just annoyed with her bringing up me drinking and my grades. I’m already jealous about him being around guys right now too. Her bringing him up set me off. “Is that why Alexis didn’t come with you this year?” 

“I already told you he was working!” I started raising my voice at her.

“Watch you’re tone boy.” I looked over at my father staring daggers at me leaning comfy but confident on the counter still.

“I don’t know if you’re telling the truth anymore Matty. Look at you, how your attacking. Is this what he’s been putting up with?” She points at me and the beer bottle. 

“Stop bringing up my fucking boyfriend! I don’t want you talking to him! And stay out of our fucking relationship.” I don’t know what he’s told her. Did he tell her about everything? Even us? Did she make her tell her? I’ve never yelled at my mom like this.

“Mathew! You better stop talking to your mother like that! Do you hear me!” My dad got off the counter and started walking to stand by my moms side. As if I was going to run at her or something.

She started gettting emotional “this isn’t the boy I raised. Is this how you’ve been acting around him?” She cleans a tear off her face. 

“Watch how you respond Mathew.” My dad told me. I was so mad I felt hot.

“Do you act like this with him? Are you driving drunk with him?”she asked.

“No, I don’t. I’ve never been drunk and driven. You told me not to remember?”

“You better not be, I taught you better than that.” My dad responded while he comforted my mom.