The incident threw the whole town into chaos. The captain of the guards had died, his body displayed in the middle of town square for all to see, his limbs stacked like bricks on his body. 

The townspeople started protesting, demanding the capture of the Executioner. The Baron, now without his trusted captain, had to listen to the angry mob, lest he be trampled under their angry feet. A missive had been sent from Barre and resultingly, a group of guards from the surrounding towns and cities was sent. It must have cost the Baron a lot.

Father investigated the hidden area and found a field of white lilies growing in the dark. I didn’t know what to feel that Finn's father had been The Executioner, I didn’t want to feel anything about that matter. 

The newly appointed captain of the guards took the new recruits and did a town-wide search and found the place. My father had erased all traces of us and made it seem like he had left town. The guards came to that same conclusion and relayed the facts to the townspeople. Seeing the massive number of guards patrolling their streets, they had to reluctantly accept the situation. 

Nothing happened the following weeks and the townspeople began celebrating each week that passed without a murder, it was like a small festival that attracted the neighboring towns and cities. The Baron was beyond happy that more people spent money in his town.

And so two months passed. The leaves were turning brown and thin summer dresses changed into longer dresses and coats. My left hand had healed on its own but the damaged fingers could still not fully bend. Scars and disfigured flesh marred my skin where the hammer had hit it. 

My mother was beside herself when she first saw me being carried in by my father. 

The physical pain was extreme, but the pain coming from my aching heart, hearing her sob through the night, hurt me more. She had cried for two weeks straight.

My mother had calmed down considerably, now only hovering around me occasionally. A sad expression crept onto her face each time she saw my hands, which made me want to start wearing gloves. Telling her this only made her sadder. The next day, a pair of comfy gloves sat on my hands.

“They’re pretty.” Karrie said. She was visiting me again today. 

“Thanks.” 

“Does it still hurt?”

“Yeah.”

Only staying in the house was starting to get boring, so her visits were welcome. However, our conversations left something to be desired. 

“Have they found Finn yet?” I asked.

“No…” She leaned in closer and whispered. “Eric and I think that he got taken by the Executioner.” That was the funniest thing I’ve heard the last couple of months. 

Karrie went on to tell me about her day, as usual. She made a pile of leaves, which Eric had ruined by jumping into it. She finally found a beetle half the size of her hand, and Eric had done something stupid again. 

“I heard that an acting troupe will be visiting our town soon!” Her eyes glimmered. “Do you think they will be handsome or pretty? Maybe they will be both!”

“Who knows.”

“Ah, you’re always like this. We young maidens should be out and find someone special.”

“I think you've read too many romance comics.” 

“Comics? What are those? But I do like the sound of romance.” She hugged her own shoulders. 

“Should we go together?” 

“Are you well enough to do that?”

“Watch this.” Swooping my legs off the bed, I planted my thin feet firmly on the ground. “Ta da.”

Karrie let out a ‘whoah’ and clapped her hands. Then stopped as I had to catch myself on the bed. 

“Give me one more week…”

One more week passed and my body was finally well enough to actually go do something besides idling. And today I was escorted by both Eric and Karrie to see the acting troupe hold a play.

“But I’ve already seen–” 

“Shhh!” Karrie smacked Eric on the shoulder.

“Oh wow… I wonder what play they are going to hold…”

“I don’t really know but it should be something amazing!”

“I’ve never seen a play before.” I’ve never been to a cinema for that matter either.

“Well, that’s because you are always at home. Mmph!” 

Karrie was holding both her hands to Eric’s mouth at this point. “Haha, then prepare yourself to be amazed.” 

A scene had been erected in the town square. The actors began their play as applause from the crowd died down. Their movements and clothes gripped my attention throughout.

It began with a commoner girl singing and dancing, all the while sweeping the floor with a broom. Someone was knocking on her door making her stop. It was a well-clad man donning a cane and a tall hat. 

“My dear daughter, it is I, your father.”

Her father was a rich baron and had sought after her after hearing that one of the maids that ran away had borne a child. The girl looked flabbergasted as she rode in the carriage. 

“No more cleaning, no more sweeping?”

“That’s right, you are now a noble like I.”

A flute played a gentle song as she took in her new surroundings, sounding like chirping birds. Learning how to eat, learning how to act and learning how to put on extravagant dresses. She looked happy.

Fast forward and she was entering the Royal Academy. A place where other nobles would meet her for the first time. 

“Oh noes! I have wandered too far and lost my way. Whatever shall I do?” The actor waved her hands.

“Milady fret not. It is but a minute walk away from here.” A blond princely face greeted us, making some of the women in the crowd let out murmurs. Karrie had been bewitched it looked like. 

“My good sir, can you help me find the way?”

“I can’t see why I can't.”

The pair of them went to the entrance where a woman was waiting. She had a blood red dress and even spotted a hand fan.

“My Eugene, where have you been and who is that woman sticking onto you like a leech?” Clack, a satisfying sound reverberated as she folded the fan.

“A leech she is not, she was just lost, is all. Lady Lara.”

She pointed her fan at the leech. “And who is this lost lady that managed to find my fiancee?”

“Oh! My name is Rebecca!” She curtsied.

“Hmpf. What a horrid curtsy.”

The second act of the play went on to detail Rebecca’s academy life as she routinely got harassed by Lara. The crowd jeered each time she appeared on the stage. Booed, when she reprimanded the heroine for always being with the prince. Cried when the heroine got soaked from Lara accidentally throwing her teacup. And cheered when Eugene found her each time Rebecca hid away with tears in her eyes.

I found it amazing that Lara’s actor could maintain her composure in this atmosphere. I felt the same for Lara. Not only did the audience jeer, even her classmates did the same. 

“Don’t you think she went too far this time?” Classmate one asked.

“Be quiet, you don’t want to witness her wrath for yourself.” Classmate two replied.

“But how could she do that to the poor lady Rebecca? Whatever did she do?”

The crowd nodded in agreement. Were they daft?

Lara had justification in doing all those things. She repeatedly told off the heroine for being rude and tactless. Told her off when she clung to Eugene. He was her fiancee, so why was she always hovering around him? My skin began itching as the crowd became more hypocritical and went against all my expectations.

The scene was now a solo act, where Lara planned her next action. She held up a small vial.

“With this, the leech will finally let go of my fiancee! No longer will he turn his eyes toward that wretched woman!” 

But she didn’t do it. She didn’t poison the leech. Hiding it in her room, she went on to meet with her fiancee like normal. A basket of homemade cookies in her hand. Eugene had invited her, and only her, to a picnic on this fine morning. It was their secret meeting place after all. A secluded little place in the palace gardens. 

The basket fell to the ground as she approached the location. Rebecca had already arrived before her. Giggling and laughing at each and every word coming out of his mouth. He appeared to be enjoying himself in their private spot.

Lara gave up.

“Perhaps it is fate… All my life for this moment to be stolen away…”

Lara, you idiot, stop moping in your room. Leave your life behind if it saddens you so. Leave that scoundrel of a prince and go live freely in peace doing what you yourself want. If you hate her that much, why don’t you just kill her? Use that vial of yours and– Ah. So that’s why. She couldn’t. Just like me.

The third act opened with the heroine getting poisoned at the royal ball. The male lead was holding the heroine in his arms in front of a shocked crowd.

“Lara! Why did you poison her?!” Eugene roared. A gathering of guards rushed in from the sides. 

“I did no such silly thing.” She didn’t even glance at him, only looking over at us, the audience. “Have you even checked whether or not she really has been poisoned?”

“How can you say that with this damning evidence!” A vial was presented for us to see. It was the same vial that she had hidden in her room.

“I had thought you to be better than this!” The hero caressed the damsel in his arms. “Guards! Take her away!”

Stripped of all her titles and responsibilities, she could do nothing but lament the situation. The antagonist was to be executed for her transgressions. Sitting in the cold dungeon, a pitiful soliloquy started.

“Oh, Goddess. Why have you set up my fate like this? Why couldn’t you give my life to that leech before I gave my own heart away? Right. You should have just not let me live this vain life.” She stretched towards the heavens. “Why have you cursed me so, my Goddess?”

The play ended with the death of the former fiancee of the prince. Applause rang out as she dangled on the execution platform. Her legs jerked as her body resisted, against the rope, against the air, and against life itself. It was futile. No one, the audience, Karrie and Eric, the actors, not even the Goddess, wanted her to live. All except me.

At the scene of the marriage, claps rang in my ears as everyone around me cheered and whistled for the ‘true’ pair. It was loud. It was irritating. My hand hurt, I had clenched it too hard. This was ridiculous.

 

***

I glared at the statue towering over me. What’s so funny, huh? The marble face smiled at me.

We were visiting the church today. Father had asked, or demanded, that the head priest use his healing magic on me. In the hopes that a greater amount of divine magic would be different. The eternally smiling priest frowned for a second as something unpleasant entered my body before bouncing off.

The sun shone through the stained glass, blinding my eyes in red. Why was I reincarnated? Was this even a reincarnation? I took over someone’s dead body and still had my own memories. The monks said that life was like a wheel, neither a start nor an ending existed. Would that explain my current situation? Nothing made sense. I glared at the irksome statue.

And why did my knife bounce off his neck? I wouldn’t have been captured had he just died right there in that forest, there and then. It was perfect. A bitter taste filled my mouth as my teeth ground against each other. The golden circles had both blocked my knife and his knife. 

“Is this your doing?” My own voice echoed in the empty prayer room. Silence

“Why did you send me here?” The Goddess just looked at me, smugly.

 I stood up. “What am I supposed to do!”

“I don’t understand.” 

“I said I don’t understand!” 

The sun stood behind the statue, like a guardian giving it a golden halo. Its rays were still stabbing in my eyes, not caring in the least that it blinded me. 

“Don’t you look at me like that, wipe that goddamn smile off your face!”

It was heavy. Her presence. Her gaze made me fall to my knees. The carpet felt rough and hard.

“Say something… anything…”

“I didn’t ask for this…” A handful of the itchy carpet gathered in my fists, crumpling the once flat fabric.

“I can’t even kill anyone in this life!” I banged on the carpeted floor. “What am I supposed to do?!” It hurt. 

“I can’t do this…” Pebbles fell down from somewhere, staining the blood-red carpet with dark circles. “Tell me what to do…”

“Esther!” Quick steps ran over to me, wrapping me in something warm. “What’s wrong?” She hugged me.

I didn’t want her to see me like this, hiding myself in her arms, I dug my face until nothing was visible in my eyes. “Mom…”

“What is it, sweetie? It’s okay, just tell me.”

“I want to go home…”

“Of course, we will go home right away.” Her fingers ran through my hair. 

“My sweet little Esther”