Nirgala’s questions hadn’t registered completely with Sarala and she stood rooted, unsure of what to answer.

“What do you mean?” Sarala asked.

Nirgala sighed. “Mom, ever since I was a kid, dad has been my biggest hero, my best supporter and the first person I ever blindly trusted. Truly, he is the best dad a child could ever get. As his daughter, I will always put him on a pedestal. But, that is the lens I put on as a daughter when I view him. Yes, as a kid I used to think that I would be lucky if I got married to someone like him.”

She paused for a moment taking in a deep breath and continued, “But mom, as I started growing up into a woman, I started noticing things that confused me a lot. It was the little things like snubbing you at random, not waiting for you to sit with us for dinner, not giving any significance to your opinions, always expecting you to pander to all the demands of his side of the family but never returning the same favour to your side of the family, and many more. There are so many little things that I have lost track of all of them.”

Sarala understood what Nirgala was referring to. She was a woman underneath all the older generation, boomer motherly vibe. And as a woman, in true sense, she had never been the happiest with her married life. It had been full of trials and tribulations, her attempts of ignoring the short end of the stick she always received, the dissatisfaction she had had with her husband’s dismissive treatment of her at times, not to forget all the hassles with her in-laws who snubbed her every time.

Sarala had really tried to fit in with everyone around her, sweep right into every situation as if she was on the same page as everyone else, resonate with what the majority of the society voiced. She had expected her daughter and daughter-in-law to follow in the same lines as all the woman around them in their highly stringent and predictive environment.

While Siri had fit in just like her, climbing up the stairs to the platform that defined and dictated the expectations of a woman, Nirgala had never even bothered to put her foot on the first step.

Sarala had always wondered what went wrong with her daughter. For someone so intuitive and emotionally perceptive as Nirgala, she had strangely isolated herself from everything that people expected her to do.

Now, as she stood in front of her and confessed her honest thoughts on Sarala’s display of married life, Sarala realized where Nirgala’s aversion to marriage had started to build up. The very man who had shaped her into a powerhouse of a woman in terms of career and speaking her mind as her father, had oddly showed her as a married man how a patriarchal family would treat a woman after marriage.

“You… you can’t be serious,” Sarala managed to say amidst the tornado of thoughts in her head.

“I am, mom,” Nirgala said quietly.

“Look, Nirgala, your dad was a really good man. How can you have such a twisted view of him?” Sarala asked, her voice cracking as she tried to avoid the underlying truth.

“Yeah, I agree, he was a good man,” Nirgala stated. “He was really good at work and was a support to many people. Above all, he was an amazing father. But he was a bad husband.”

Sarala gaped at her, unable to contradict it.

“You can’t deny that mom. I have seen you shed tears at times, complain when things were really hard for you. And all those times, I was the only one who listened to everything and shielded your teary face, not the men in this house.”

Abhi shifted on his feet, conscience prickling his mind.

Nirgala turned to him and explained, “Now do you understand why I always tell you to watch how you behave with Siri in front of your daughter? Right now you might be her hero and the kind of man she wants to marry in the future. But when she starts growing into a woman, she will notice every minute detail of how you treat your wife. Not just her, your son will learn from you too and will subconsciously form the basis of how to treat his partner in the future. It all comes down how the parents treat each other in a house.”

Siri sighed, acknowledging her understanding of Nirgala’s words and actions.

“Nirgala,” Sarala tried to reason. “You could have found a better man. You could have had a better relationship. You didn’t even bother to start anything, yet you gave a fatal review and just avoided the whole thing. How do you think that is fair?”

“Mom, do you really think I haven’t tried?” Nirgala was exasperated. “You know everything that I went through. I have explained things over and over to you, again and again. Yet you keep running in the same circle. How do you think that is fair?”

“It is a wishful thinking,” Sarala muttered. She could no longer hold herself up and collapsed onto the bed.

Nirgala took a step towards her, but looking at her mother, she understood that what she needed was some space and time to absorb everything that Nirgala had spoken.

“Mom, I know you wish the best for me. Trust me, this is my life. I wish the best for myself more than anyone. I am not a masochist to get some thrill out of pain. Right now, I am in the best of the conditions and I am happy. Please, try and remember everything I have shared with you these past few years and understand me a little.” Nirgala tilted her head lower to look straight into her mother’s eyes and said, “Please, relax and think.”

Nirgala left the room. She simply couldn’t stay there anymore with the stifling tension around after the fight and felt the need to get out of everyone’s hair. She knew Sarala would say something upsetting in her state of motherly anxiety and she didn’t want to hear that to start another argument.

Putting on her shoes, she stepped out of the house for a night walk.

As she walked around the somewhat quieter community roads, Nirgala replayed all the exchanges between her and her mother over the past few years. She knew what concerned her mother the most - that she was a lone woman.

Nirgala had no intention of getting married - she was done with the idea and what entails it. She knew she wasn’t fit for a happy married life. She was extremely self-aware of her neurotic behavioural traits, her quirks and her insecurities. If she really got married, she would be making her partner miserable.

Though she liked having her personal space, she didn’t want to be completely alone either. And Sarala’s major concern was Nirgala’s solitude.

Walking around the neighbourhood, Nirgala realized probably the best way to satiate Sarala’s concern was to stay close to her and show her how Nirgala was content with her life.

She decided to move back to India.