I don’t actually remember when my birthday was, I just increased my age by one when the year ended and the fireworks kept me up all night. The years seemed to become shorter the higher my age went. Why did I think about my birthday? Because today was Esther’s. My congratulating mom told me so.

The freezing winds were starting to warm up as the snow began to melt. Dazzling like small stars, the liquid snow crystals slid down my bedroom window. A pile of snow fell down from one of the naked trees, letting out a satisfying crunch as it met the ground.

One of the monks staying at the temple would always complain about his leg when winter came around. You don’t understand, he told me. The cold freezes the muscles, pulling the bone all over the place. I did truly not understand, how would some weak muscles be able to do that. However, even after wrapping my hand in layers and layers of gloves and scarves, it ached. It really ached.

“Is there anything you want?” A small plume of air went out of my moms mouth. We were going shopping today.

“Not really.” 

“There must be something?” She looked concerned again. “How about a new pair of gloves?”

“I like the ones you made.” Trying to find something to wish for left my head empty. I have never had to practice wishing before, there simply wasn’t an opportunity to do so. What was the point of wishing anyway.

“Maybe a cake?” We had passed by a bakery or a patisserie earlier. Whatever the difference was, a sugary smell had attracted me to it nonetheless. Peeking through the frosted windows at the meager display of baked goods made me want one for myself.

“Hmm.” My mom pondered for a second before telling me that buying a whole cake would put a sizable dent in our budget. I was shocked hearing her tell me the price. Well, there goes my first ever wish. Letting out a big ball of exhale, my shoulders slumped.

“However, we can just make our own!” She puffed out her chest.

“Really? You can make your own cake?” 

“Sure you can, don’t you trust your mother?”

My mom was dazzling and cool today too. She wore a coat which had taken a long time to make. Father had hunted some fluffy animal or monster and given its fur as a gift to her. Ever since that day she had been sitting in her favorite chair and slowly stitched together a whole coat. In fact, my jacket was made by her too. 

Surrounded by the soft fur, her face peeked out from under the hood. Would I become as pretty as her growing up? Bouncing in tandem with her steps, my feet felt lighter. Something was making my frozen face stretch under the early spring sun. Feeling it made me realize what it was. I was smiling.

“Of course I trust you, I don’t think there is anything you can’t make.”

“Oh Esther! You are so sweet!” I got glomped on by my mom.

Baking a cake appeared to be far easier than I thought. Either that or my mom was an expert at cooking. Seeing the setting batter in the stone oven, it had to be the latter. The same sweet smell I had noticed earlier today was wafting around the warm kitchen. My face felt like melting sitting there in front of the oven.

“Hopefully it turns out something befitting my lovely daughter.” She rested her hand on my crouching figure. 

“It looks amazing.” How could some flour, sugar and some other things blend together to make a cake? It looked haphazard as she threw them all together in a bowl without even using a recipe. ‘A recipe? Maybe I should write them down’, she said. 

A low voice called out to us. “Oh, what’s the special occasion today?” 

“Father!” Running up to him, he caught me in his arms. His messy bed hair indicated that he had just woken up. Mom should be a little stricter with him. Half the day had already vanished. 

“You really don’t know?” To be fair, I didn’t know either before today. But that didn’t stop me from glomping him. 

He chuckled for a bit. “Happy birthday, Esther.” Something wrapped appeared in front of me. “What’s this?” It had a bow tied to it, two bunny ears I recalled someone say. 

“It’s your present.” The insides rattled as I shook it, it sounded metally.

“Thanks!” A bubbling feeling inside me made me feel fuzzy.

“Thank you for giving your father such a pretty smile.” He ruffled my hair. “Why don’t you open it?”

“Open it?” Open what?

“Shouldn’t we wait for the guests to arrive?” My mom asked.

“What guests?” The two of them simply smiled at my question. 

Karrie was the first to arrive with her parents. Congratulations filled the room as they gave me their happy birthday’s 

“When’s your birthday?” I sat with Karrie in the living room as the adults moved to the kitchen.

“I’m a spring baby.” We were both slumped into the couch, trying to find the most comfortable position to sit. It appeared having my back rest on the seat was the most comfortable.

“Your couch is really dangerous…” Karrie had melted into the cushions.

“It really is…”

“What silly thing are you two doing now?” Karrie’s mother looked at us.

“We are becoming one with the couch…”

“Look at how you have influenced Esther. I’m sorry for this, Victoria.” Her mother shook her head hearing Karrie’s answer.

“It’s fine isn’t it? Look how cute those two are.”

“I can only see one cute one…”

“Mom, I can hear you…” The couch had eaten her at this point.

The last guest was Eric, who had just arrived. A small pile of snow rested on his red hair as he shook it off like a dog. 

“What stupid thing are you two doing now?” 

“It’s not stupid.” I said.

“Yeah, you’re the stupid one.” Karrie added.

“You three really do take after one another.” We ‘sat’ in a row on the couch, Eric had joined us. My mom’s comment made me realize that we had gotten much closer these past months. Rarely was there a day where I didn’t see either one of them. 

Friends were hard to come by in my previous life, which was why I was often alone. It was fine, I had told myself. Being alone was preferable if it meant they didn’t get to know me. 

Keeping an arms length from others had an effect where people stopped talking to me altogether. Perhaps they noticed that I tried to hide something or that my replies were always the same. You’re so boring, they said. Talking with you exhausts me.

These two never said anything like that. They were always calling each other stupid to notice these things. But did I really need to act the same way? There was nothing to hide besides the fact that the real Esther was dead. Not once did they suspect me for being someone else. Maybe we had a similar personality? A smacking sound pulled me out of my thoughts. Eric had done something stupid again.

“You’re going to leave Barre tomorrow?”

“Yup, gonna follow my dad’s work.”

“Isn’t he a merchant?” Earning money by buying things. It sounded silly, a merchant’s job that is. 

“That’s right.”

“Eric is too stupid for that.” Isn’t being a merchant a hard job?

“Esther, you mixed your thoughts again.”

“Mixed or not, you’re really leaving the town?” Karrie shook his collar.

“Kids!” My mom called to us. “Dinner’s ready.”

Birthdays were the best. Countless dishes stood ready on our dining table, almost spilling over with the amount of plates. I sat at the head of the table for the first time with my parents to either side of me.

Invited to my first ever birthday party and Esther’s fourteenth were: my parents, Karrie’s parents, Karrie and Eric. Their smiling faces radiated warmth as I took it in. All these people had gathered together for my sake. 

The sun streamed through the frosty windows, spreading itself across the room. Not a single speck of dust was to be seen in the air as chatter and jovial voices layered on top of each other. Like exhale in cold winter air, the dishes disappeared at a remarkable pace. It was time for the main dish. Mom’s homemade cake.

It looked just like the ones I saw through that window. My heart felt ticklish.

“Congratulations Esther! May the Goddess bless you!” Yeah, no thanks. If the Goddess could actually leave me be, then that would be great.

“What are you gonna wish for?” Eric asked.

“Of course she will ask for money!” My father said.

“What are you saying? A growing girl only has one thing to wish for, gems and diamonds!” Karrie’s father retorted.

“Oh, you’re right! How hind-sighted of me!”

Karrie’s mom let out a sigh. “You two…”  

“What are you going to wish for?” My mom asked. My wish? 

A warmth spread through the house giving it a cozy atmosphere. My father and Karrie’s were busy arguing on what a girl like me wanted to wish for. Sighs could be heard cutting through their points as they became more and more ridiculous. Karrie and Eric were busy trying to shove another spoonful of cake into themselves. And my mom, with her gentle purple eyes, was busy looking at me. 

“My wish…” The room went quiet.

It was awkward at first, but today, on such a happy day, my mouth smiled naturally. The air felt refreshing as it grazed my grinning teeth. All of them smiled expectantly at me, the birthday girl, to announce her wish. I had it.

“My wish is to always have days like–” A knock on the front door interrupted me.

“Sorry Esther, excuse me for a bit.” My father lifted his heavy body from the table. Following him with my eyes as he went to the door.

“Raviel? What are you doing here?” It was the lady with the pants and blue hair. She wore a thick dress today that was covered in glittering snow. The room had immediately melted them.

“I have come here today as a messenger”

“A messenger? From who?” He grasped the letter handed to him, flipping it over a few times. 

“I shall take my leave then.” Grabbing the sides of her skirt, she drew a leg behind herself and bent her knees. It was a perfect curtsy. “My lord.”

By the time I blinked, Raviel was already in the air, my father had lifted her by the neck with one hand.

“Who sent you?” His murderous aura filled the room, dispelling the previous joyful atmosphere.  

Raviel didn’t seem flustered at all.

“Your father.” She uttered.

The sound of something crashing reverberated through the room, signaling the end of my first birthday party.