The steam coming from the cup of tea placed in front of me, flew gently toward the ceiling, eventually disappearing like a dream. Thrown on the dinner table was the letter Raviel had gifted my father. The pure white piece of paper was crumpled, several creases were visible. Were you to follow those creases like a piece of origami, I would believe it would make a wonderful ball of paper. I glanced at my parents sitting at the table.

My mom gripped her cup of tea, stroking the handle with her thumb. “Do you know why you were called back?” 

“How should I know what my father is thinking?” He spat out. My mom’s shoulders shrank into herself, making her silhouette smaller. My fingers hurt as I tried clenching them. This scene was too familiar. My body began to prickle. 

He sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that”, he said, covering mom’s hands. “It’s just… I really don't know.”

“How did they even find us?” Her hands were turning white as they wrapped around the cup. “Why now?” Glistening beads began to form in the corner of her eyes. She began to tremble. 

My father stood up and wrapped her into his arms. No one said anything as he stood there, letting his wife crease up his ironed shirt. Wet stains formed where my mother’s face dug into his messed up shirt. The prickling was getting too much.

I went outside.

Taking in the cool winter air, my breath formed a little cloud as I exhaled. I thought happy days would follow me after my birthday party, however the nailing pain in my fingers drove my mind back to reality. The letter was like a curse, bringing with it misfortune. I hadn’t slept well, I hadn’t eaten well, and father had gotten angrier and more irritable. My mom always hugged me, but it didn’t feel the same, she didn’t smile. 

I tried bending my fingers, only making it send a signal to my brain to stop. I put myself back into the house and my parents had reached an agreement. We were to leave this town in four days.

***

“I still can’t believe it…” Karrie’s father said. “How long are you going to be gone?”

We were currently loading our luggage into a horse-drawn wagon outside our house. My father had made quick work stacking the boxes.

“I’m betting on being back here after six or seven days, at the latest we should be back by the start of spring.”

“Why are you being so clingy? I’m getting a little jealous." Karrie’s mom said. 

“Hey, what are you saying, woman.” Her husband shot back. 

“My best friend is leaving for the capital, what if he never returns! Of course I should be clingy!” He went in front of my father, shielding him from his wife.

“Argh! Get out of the way, why can’t you act like this with me!”

The two of them had been shocked when my parents said that they would leave for the capital in three days. However, they didn’t ask any personal questions, only when we left and when they could expect to see them again. They bantered back and forth as the finalizations were finished. 

“My dear Victoria!” She held my mom’s hands. “I can’t believe you are leaving me all alone in this town…”

“What are you saying? You still have your husband.” She smiled prettily. “And it’s only for a few weeks at most.”

Karrie’s mom clicked her tongue and feigned a faint, putting the back of her hand on her forehead. “I don’t think I can do it… I’m going to die in these few weeks…” 

My mom let out a laugh. “I promise I will send you letters should it come to that.”

“You better hold onto that promise!” She said, giving her an enormous hug. 

Karrie had watched our moms hugging. “I don’t think I can do that…” 

“Why not? I like hugs”

She blushed. “It’s embarrassing.”

I had gotten familiar with practically seeing her everyday. We would chat together, take strolls together, and find ourselves in trouble when we occasionally made trouble. It reminded me of the time I spent with Ann. However I knew they were different people. They sometimes did the same things, but the more I talked with Karrie, the more different they appeared. 

I would probably not see her for quite some time. The distance from here to the capital was considerable, even when that shortened with the help of magic teleporting gates. I didn’t even get surprised when I first heard about them, I thought to myself, surprised. 

I threw my arms around Karrie, sharing with her some of my warmth. “Take care, Karrie.” 

“You too, Esther!” 

Standing there surrounded by the melting snow, our smiles seemed to warm our surroundings.

Their waving arms had disappeared in the horizon as I sat back down in the rocking wagon. My body was getting jostled side to side by the wooden wheels grinding through the frozen ground. Today I learnt I was prone to getting wagon-sick.

I managed to eke out a question on how further we had to drive, to which my father simply smiled at me splayed onto my mother’s lap. We hadn’t even started, he said. I felt my eyes cloud over as my mother combed through my hair.

The Guillain Kingdom had an extensive network of magic gates connecting various cities together, making it easy for people to move around the vast land of the empire. As one might suspect, it cost a considerable sum to use one of these gates. As a result, only the rich were the ones using them. In the letter, demanding my father’s return, was an eight-sided token. This was used by nobles to travel around the lands anonymously. Only high-ranking nobles had one of these. Duke Nikodemus must have really wanted his son to visit. 

Thinking about it, doesn’t that make my father a noble? Would that make me a noble? On television, drama series about rich conglomerates that had nothing to worry about would sometimes air. Riches, looks and bloodline, weren’t those essentially the same as this kingdom’s nobles? It didn’t sound bad.

No more would we have to concern ourselves with money and have time to do whatever we wanted. Honestly, why didn’t my parents use their status to their advantage? In hindsight, it was easy to see that we weren’t normal commoners. They would sometimes behave in a way totally different from Karrie’s parents. Not making a sound when drinking tea for example.

I asked Karrie once whether her parents danced together. “No way, as if my parents had the time and energy to learn something useless like that. Where would you even get music to dance to?” A scene where my parents danced in the kitchen in silence flowed into my mind. Would my grandfather act in the same way?

“Don’t get your hopes up, Esther. He isn’t the type of person to act like that.”

“What about my grandmother?” My parents smiled.

Mom answered my question. “She’s a wonderful woman.” She was smiling like her normal self. “Did you know she saved my life once?” 

It was a wonder how such contrasting reactions could come from a pair of people. How could such a mismatched couple even conceive a person like my father? My grandmother must be a really grand woman to raise him.

My parents chatted together as we traveled to the neighboring city where a gate was available. And finally, after a whole day of suffering on the seats of the wagon, we arrived at the entrance to the city.

“This looks good enough.” My father opened the door to the room we had rented for the day. The magic gate required a half day's worth of time to check our luggage and clear it for transport. Not wanting to arrive earlier than required, he suggested resting in this city for a day. I welcomed that thought.

My eyes were still spinning from the horrid ride and I could only throw myself into the bed to find some sort of refuge. Pressing my face into the pillow, its fragrant scent filled my nose. It smelt of lavender. The pillow fell to the floor as I coiled into myself like a snake.

“Oh, my poor daughter…” She patted my back. 

“I don’t want to ride the wagon anymore…”

My father’s next words shattered that hope. “Sorry to say this, but we are still only halfway.”

“Mom…”

“Just rest for now, sweetie. We can go eat some delicious food later!” She sounded cheerful.

I didn’t want to eat anything, was what I had previously thought as I stood there in the bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread filled the store, not letting a single visitor escape unscathed. Displayed by the counter stood countless types of pastries, ranging from simple wheat rolls to elegantly designed cakes in all types of colors. It looked like one of those cafes I had seen in my previous life. 

I shook my bag and heard some coins click, ringing out like small bells. My parents appeared to be in a joyous mood today, laughing and giggling while walking around the new city. I asked to go explore on my own, which had worried my mom and elated my father. He gave me a whole four silver coins to go do whatever I wanted for today. There were a total of five silver coins in my pouch, a considerable sum for someone like me.

The first silver coin I had gotten was still with me, accompanying me whenever I went out. The original idea was to spend it on something or the other, but like magic, the opportunity never came. It felt like someone was deliberately stopping me from using this coin, I thought. It was now my lucky charm. Did it do anything? Not really, but the thought was fun. 

“How much for a slice of that cake?” I pointed to something plain-looking.

“That’ll be five silvers.” The barista-looking woman answered. 

Five silver coins should be enough to buy enough to buy food for five whole days and still be left with some remaining. Why, our room cost us only three silvers for the day. I’ve never been good with money but didn’t that sound too much? I expected the golden circle to appear, but no matter how long I waited, it didn’t show up.

I pointed to a bag of cookies. “What about that?”

“That’ll be two silvers.” Something stabbed into my heart.

Pointing to a stupid looking bread roll I asked. “What about-”

“That’ll be three coppers.” The woman was smiling at me.

Sitting on a bench outside the bakery, I bit into my hard-gained bread roll. It tasted like bread. Feeling the dry taste of wheat, I remembered why I never used my own money on food. It was just, disappointing. The people of the city passed by me busy with their own thoughts and plans. Carriages cackled on the cobbled road as the drivers steered the horses. 

The city road was double the size of those in Barre. Two whole carriages could pass by each other with no problem. The amount of people busily strutting to and fro down the sidewalks was also double. Double this, double that, it all just doubled my dizziness.

The pure white color of snow I had gotten used to seeing the past few months was nowhere to be seen. Replacing it was the color brown. Brown roads, brown horses and brown three-coppers costing bread. Something red broke up the monotony as it approached me.

“Esther?” The red hair called out to me. “What are you doing here?”

I observed the boy that had left Barre a week ago. Karrie and I thought he was joking at first, but the day after my birthday, he was gone. 

He had grown considerably since the first time I saw him. In front of that store. The face had lost some of its boyness, getting a bit sharper and his shoulders looked to be sturdier. A few more years and he would definitely look more than decent. He crossed his arms and smirked at me.

“Did you get lost again?”

I considered throwing the half eaten piece of bread at his stupid face.