“Kyle, it was one night more than a year ago.”

“I told you that night—you don’t have to pretend with me. You never did,” Kyle said, watching him closely. “So stop pretending that ‘just one night’ didn’t change something.”

Pierce exhaled slowly, the sound heavy in his chest, but Kyle didn’t wait for him to speak.

“Are you really going to tell me you never expected to run into me again?” he asked quietly. “Or that you didn’t catch yourself looking for me sometimes, without even realizing it?” He held Pierce’s gaze. “Are you going to tell me it was just me? And if it was—then say it. I’ll walk out that door right now and I won’t bother you again.”

Of course it wasn’t just you.
I went after you that night—god damn it. I just took too long, and by the time I got there, you were already gone.
But our lives are too different. And if you can’t handle the secrets that would have to exist—what then? What happens when it gets heavy?
I can’t let you walk into my life like this. I can’t survive it if you come in only to leave later, like everyone else always does.

The silence between them grew heavy. Kyle could see it—Pierce stuck inside his own head, caught in a loop he couldn’t seem to break.

“Pierce,” he said softly, trying to pull him back, “if what you’re thinking has anything to do with me, please let me be part of that conversation.”

Pierce didn’t react.

Kyle let go of his hand and walked over to the couch, sitting down. The moment Pierce felt the contact break, he snapped back to the present and assumed the decision had already been made—that Kyle had chosen distance.

He held his emotions together as best he could before speaking, his voice low and careful. “It mattered. It mattered a lot. I went after you. I was going to show you who I was.” He hesitated. “I almost lost my job because of you. And not just that.” His voice rose despite himself. “But apparently that doesn’t matter now. I’m sorry.”

He turned toward the door.

Kyle was on his feet instantly. “You’re giving up?” he asked, disbelief clear in his voice. “You say that and you just walk away? You won’t even listen to what I have to say?”

Pierce stopped, but didn’t turn around.
He lowered his head, trying to steady his breathing, trying to keep the emotions from spilling over.

“Pierce,” Kyle said, “you started spiraling in your thoughts. You shut down so completely you couldn’t even hear me.”

Kyle sighed.

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to,” he said. “I waited a year and a half once. I can wait another if I need to.”

Pierce swallowed.

“But… you just stepped away from me, Kyle.”

There was a pause.

“I was trying to give you space,” he said quietly.
“So you could think without feeling pressured.”

Pierce drew a slow breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

So I wouldn’t feel pressured?
So I’d have space?

You were the first person who ever put me before everything else.
And you’re still the only one who does.

Am I selfish for wanting that? For liking it?