Josiah

I fill the watering can up in the sink before heading to the window. I water the plants absentmindedly as my thoughts wonder. 

I don’t see Shinta much anymore. He hardly ever responds to me and he definitely doesn’t answer any calls. It’s been like this for a couple weeks now. He said that Simon could leave at any time. I really hope that he tells me whenever that happens. If Simon dips on him, I don’t think he’s going to take it well. Shinta may act tough but he's a big softy. He takes everything to heart. Maybe I’ll go talk to Granny about it. 

I knock on the door before entering Granny’s hospital room. “Hey Granny, how are you?” Handing her a basket of fruit, I set the vase of flowers on the table next to her. She’s been in the hospital ever since her heart problem started. 

“Oh! Josiah! I’m good as can be, how have you been?”

“I'm good, just wanted to come see your beautiful face.”

She laughs a hearty laugh that warms the soul. “You flatter me.” She says that but the smile stays on her face. “Are you off work today? It’s lovely to see you.”

“No. I was working earlier but I finished for the day.”

“How sweet of you. Come play cards with this old lady?”

“Rummy?”

“You know it!”

It takes me a while before I get the courage for the real reason I came here. “Granny, has Shinta been acting weird lately?”

She sets her cards down on the table. “Shinta? Well, I’d say he hasn’t been coming in at all recently. I guess that’s a little out of the ordinary for him. Why?”

“I’m just worried about him,” I admit. “I feel like he’s making poor life decisions right now. I just don’t want to see him hurt again.”

She shakes her head. “Oh honey, you’re so kind but he has to learn from his own mistakes.”

“I know, it’s just hard to watch.” 

“I know it is but you need to be patient with him. He’s got to learn somehow.  Just be supportive of him when he comes around.” 

“I will. I just hope it’s not too late.”

“If you think it’s that bad then why don’t you go to his house and check on him. You have a key don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do. I just don’t want to intrude on their time together but you’re probably right. He stopped responding to me completely almost two weeks ago now. I wonder if the guy he was seeing left.”

“Then go stop by on your way home.”

“I will Granny, thank you. You always know what to say.”

“Honey, I’ve known you both since you were born. You’ve been inseparable since you guys learned to walk. Something like this isn’t enough to split you two apart.” 

“Thanks, I needed that.”

“You’re welcome. Now, what are you still doing here? Go check on Shinta.”

Knock knock knock

Still no answer. This is the third time I’ve banged on his door. I’ve called his name and knocked so many times that I start to worry about the neighbors calling the cops on me. Guess I have no other option then going in. 

I slide my key into the doorknob and pause. What if i walk in on them fucking and thats why he isn’t anwering ther door. I don’t know if I could handle that. But my gut tells me that's not the case. That something is wrong. I push away the fear of seeing something I really don’t want to see and open the door.

“Shinta? Hey Shinta? You in here?” I close the door behind me and am greeted by the smell of stale alcohol. “Shit.”

I make my way to the living room and see Shinta passed out on the couch. There’s bottles scattered on the floor and everything is trashed like someone robbed the place. I run to his side, kneeling on the floor beside him. 

“Shinta?” I gently shake his shoulder. “Shinta, wake up. Please. Shinta?!” 

The red sclera of his eyes make the blue pop even more when he finally opens his eyes. “Josiah? What are you doing here?” He seems out of it, only looking at me through his lashes. 

“What am I supposed to do?” My voice cracking as I speak. You won’t answer my calls or text. Granny says you haven’t been to see her. Have you even been going to work? What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” he says, trying to push me away. “Im fine. I’m on vacation. I don’t need to go to work. Don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry?! How can I not. This is NOT a vacation. You’re a mess. Did Simon leave?”

His eyes unfocus at the name and he dissociates, staring right through me.  

“God damnit, I knew this would happen, but you wouldn’t listen to me. Come on. Let’s get you in the bath. Who knows when the last time you showered was. Your hair is a mess.” I slide my arms under him and he doesn't put up a fight, just leans into me so he doesn't fall. 

Once we are in the bathroom, I set him down on the toilet to sit while I draw a bath. I find the plug and test the water to make sure it doesn't get too hot. Rummaging in the closet, I find his bag of sleepytime bath salts and pour some into the running water along with some bubble bath soap.

“Get undressed and get in the tub, it’s ready now.”

He obediently undresses and gets into the tub. All the while his eyes never gain focus. He just stares straight ahead. I grab a cup from the kitchen and start to run water through his hair, tipping his head black so I don't get it into his eyes. 

“I’ve been so worried about you. I told you to tell me if something happened. Why do you always make me come find you? Will you say something please? Anything. I’m so worried about you.”

Finally, he looks at me. Really looks at me. Like he's looking for answers in my eyes. His eyes well up and it’s like all his emotions finally come to the surface. He starts bawling. I can’t help but take him into my arms, water drenching my shirt when he clings onto me. He cries hard and squeezes the life out of me. I just hold him tight and stroke his hair with one hand, letting him get it out of his system. We stay like this for what seems like forever until he finally stops crying.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m here now. I’ve always been here.”

He pulls away, nodding as he wipes the tears from his eyes.  I pick up a washcloth and dip it in the water before wringing it out. I bring it to his nose, “blow.” He blows his nose into the cloth and I wipe away the snot. 

“Good job. Now let's finish washing you before the water gets cold.”

Once he's all clean, I hold a towel up for him to walk into. As he steps forward, I wrap the towel around him. “Here, dry yourself off. Get dressed and I’ll meet you on the couch.” I grab the hair dryer and go look for a blanket to throw in the dryer. 

It takes some time before he finally comes out of the bathroom. He plops down on the couch and I wrap him in the blanket I pulled from the dryer. He sits quietly while I blowdry his hair. 

“There, all dry. We need to get something in you besides wine. Stay here while I get you some food. And some water will probably do you good. Stay on the couch and I’ll be back. I need to clean this mess up too.” 

I clean up the bottle while his food cooks on the stove. I spend some time picking up the place a little before heading back to the couch with the food. I sit next to him, handing him the plate. 

“Here, eat this.” 

He just sits there, plate in his hands, staring at it. He’s quiet for a while before he finally speaks. “Why are you so good to me?”

“Because I love you, Shinta.”