Two weeks past.

They were a reasonably good two weeks, with only a few small hiccups here and there.

Jackson’s father had been away with his girlfriend for the past three, and he’d only had two panic attacks in that time.

Chloe’s eating wasn’t as steady as I would hope, but these past two weeks seemed happier. She seemed more energetic, more ready to engage in conversation and not care about her sweet, loud laughter.

Tommy cried once, when some documentary in English reminded him of his father. But all-in-all he looked cheerful.

To anyone else, they wouldn’t notice the change in the group. But that’s because there wasn’t any.

Instead of looking at the worst that had happened, I focused my attention more to the good. And the good really was amazing.

I didn’t go home thinking the world was on my shoulders. Sure I felt the weight, but I now felt comfortable enough to unpack that with my parents. They gave me advice and picked encouraged me to pick out a quote describing how I was feeling that day.

It helped. I didn’t have another panic attack, and my parents were happy.

……………..

It was a cold weekend with the snow falling heavily to the ground, however just light enough for school to still be on tomorrow.

I lay on the couch in front of the fireplace, staring at my phone. The group chat had been going off, but my fingers where so frozen I could barely type. So I just watched.

Four Peas in a Pod

Chloe
Y is it snowing so much u guys

Jack
Cuz its winter hon

Tommy
Lol. Yeah chlo

Chloe
Shut up u guys. Ur not funny

Jack
We’re hilarious. U don’t know what ur talking abt

Chloe
Whatever

Tommy
Any way I was thinking
What if we go for a picnic

Jackson
Dude didn’t u pick up on the fact that its snowing

I smiled at Jacksons dry humour. It was great to see that despite all the challenges my friends went through, they still had great banter. Nobody didn’t feel the need to be serious and realistic all the time. It was one of the many reasons as to why I love them so increadibly much. They where my people. 

Finally deciding to force my fingers to work - despite the fact they could literally fall off like icicles - I jumped into the conversation.

You
Snow picnic hangout!?

Tommy
At least someone gets the vibe, Jack
You're just not cultured enough to understand the art behind snow picnics

Jackson
Sorry if I don’t want to die from hypothermia
I’m not sure u guys

Chloe
Is ur dad home?

I cringed at that text. Obviously we all knew about Jack’s father, the abuse, and the self-harm, but I knew better then to talk about it so blatantly. If Jack was in a good mood, he would be fine about it, but if he was having a difficult day it would only make things worse.

In person, it was easier to tell whether or not we could ask those types of questions so casually, but over text you can never truly tell how someone’s feeling. Luckily, though, it seemed that Jack didn’t bat an eye.

Jackson
No he’s been away for like a month by now

My heart pumped, that one simple sentence worrying me. Although Jack knew how to provide for himself – he’d been doing it for years now – there was only so much food in the house. I always bought extras for him at lunch, and my parents would invite him over sometimes, however it was never safe to do sleepovers in case his dad came home unexpectedly.

Usually Jack's father would text him before he got home, a thread of warnings and threats about how he'd better get back to a clean home and finished homework. One time, however, he came home without texting first and surprised us all in the living room.

Jack had faced severe consequences and we most definitely didn't want a repeat. Although my parents sometimes stopped by with food and snacks, I could only hope we where doing enough. 

You
Jack do you need us to bring you anything?

Jackson
No its okay
I have food at home
And water and stuff

You
Okay good
But let us know if u need anything

Jackson
Ofc

Tommy
Yeah man we’re here for u always
Like the avengers

Chloe
Since when did the avengers come into this

Tommy
Since I decided I wanted them too

Chloe
At it goes into this convo because…?

Tommy
Cuz the avengers are always there for each other
Usually
Ignore Iron Man and Captain America
We’re here for each other like Spiderman and Tony Stark

Jackson
Ofc man
I know u guys r here
Even when I don’t say anything
Thanks

You
Always Jack
We love uuu

Chloe
Yeah we do

Tommy
Yeah
So
Snow picnic?

Chloe
Lemmie ask my parents real quick

You
Me too

“Mum!” I called up the stairs.

“Yeah honey?” She called from the bedroom. Usually on cold days like this, she liked to stay wrapped in her blankets with a mug of hot chocolate, cuddled up with dad.

I always made fun of them for acting like sappy teenagers, but I secretly admired it. I knew my parents had a love no one could get in the way of.

Still, though, I didn’t need them to remind me of how achingly single I was, so I preferred to keep away. I also didn’t need to walk in on anything. That would be traumatizing. In fact, I didn’t even want to think about that so I should probably ask my question and get it over with.

“Can I go on a picnic with Chloe, Jack and Tommy?”

“But its snowing?” She asked sceptically. I chuckled to myself, knowing Jackson had reacted the same way. 

“Yeah!” I called back confidently. “Snowy picnic hangout!”

I could almost hear her sigh. “Sure,” she said. “But make sure you’re wearing a scarf and gloves.”

“Obviously,” I giggled. “I’d assume we’re leaving soon, so I’ll see you later?”

“Of course darling. Just be back for dinner, okay? 6 o’clock.”

“Always. Love you!”

I turned back to my phone.

You
Yea guys I can go
Just have to be back by dinner
Don’t think we’ll be out for that long anyway

Jackson
I’ll come
But yeah Zo ur right
It would get too cold

Tommy
Sometimes I forget how much u hate cold Jacky boy

Jackson
Don’t ever call me that again
But actually
Its cuz im a skinny twig

Jackson was joking about his size now, which was always a good sign as it meant he was feeling okay about his looks. Although he doesn’t care quite as much as Chloe does, I know it’s the exact reason he wears oversized clothing: it hid his malnourishment and scars. It wasn't that he was ashamed, exactly, but he knew people would ask nosy questions that he didn't want to answer. I respected that decision.

That and the fact his father can’t seem to be bothered to buy him anything that actually fits.

Chloe
Don’t say that abt my friend Jack
And yeah mum said I can go

Jackson
Whatever Chlo
But that’s good im excited

You
Me toooo
What time should we meet?

Tommy
Now
Pls say now

Jackson
Now

Tommy
This is why Jack is my fav
Srry guys

You
Rude
But yeah, now’s good

Chloe
Yeah y not
But like the good friend I am I don’t have favourites

Tommy
I was jk guys sorry if I accidentally offended u
Love u all equally

You
Don’t worry Tom we know
So just the usual park?

Jackson
It’s the only park zo
But all sarcastic bitching aside
Yes
The usual park

Tommy
We love how sarcastic u r jack

Chloe
Yah its very funny
You too Tom tho

Jackson
Was that sarcastic

Chloe
No it wasn’t I promise
U guys sometimes say the most outright funny stuff
We love it

You
Yeah we really do
Don’t stop

Jackson
What’s with u guys being so sappy today

Tommy
Cuz we love u bro

Jackson
Well I love u guys too
But
I don’t love u more than I hate hypothermia tho, so Im gonna go get ready

You
Yeah me too guys
See u soon

Tommy
See you guys in 30?

Chloe
Can’t wait

Jackson
See u soon

You
Bye

I closed the group chat and headed up to my room, smiling.

Although I was already a thick jumper and sweatpants, I pulled on another jumper and coat, and other pair of sweats just to be safe.

True to my word, I grabbed my usual pink scarf and gloves, and because I hated the idea of hypothermia almost as much as Jackson, I shoved on a beanie as well.

……………..

It was almost funny how often we had picnics. It was at the point where we didn’t even need to talk about who was bringing what: it was almost as if we had designated roles when it came to food.

Jackson was in charge of chips crackers, and any other long-lasting food as he tended to have stacks in his cupboard at home. They were cheap and easy to store, the way this father liked.

Chloe brought an abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables, straight from her garden at home. She seemed to find fresh food easier to eat than any others, too, so it was a bonus.

Tommy always bought lollies and chocolate. Like lots of lollies and chocolate. So much that by the end of the picnic, all four of us were rolling around on the floor clutching our stomachs and regretting all life decisions.

I, of course, brought a small variety of freshly baked goods. Usually I baked a cake (my friends always liked placing bets on what flavour it would be that weekend, this week it was a green-tea matcha, something I hadn’t tried before), cookies, and some sort of savoury treat. Today I went with sausage rolls. Something warm for the cool weather.

Finally, we all brought a drink of our choosing. Sometimes we all accidentally bought the same thing, but it was hardly disappointing. Almost like a game: bring the most unique (but still delicious, of course) drink you know.

We sat around the picnic blanket (which Tommy’s mother was always happy to source us) in a circle, with the array of food sat in front of our crossed legs.

Like usual, I kept an eye on Chloe from my peripheral vision, but I could tell both Tommy and Jack where feeling okay today and I wasn’t going to have to worry about them.

Chloe stuck mostly to the fresh fruits she’d brought; however she also had a small sliver of cake, a few lollies, and half of a sausage roll. Although I couldn’t tell her, I was proud, especially considering she’d had such a tough time eating only a few weeks ago.

Everything was going perfect.

Until they showed up.