Chapter Nine

I pulled my cloak tighter, trying to block out the freezing wind. The clouds were dark and heavy with snow, making it almost impossible to see. The only sound was the clomp of my boots, as I cautiously walked forward.

Now that my mornings were free again, I had resumed my habit of going for early walks in the forest. I liked to pretend that I was doing it for the pack. I always made sure to return to the village with at least a handful of seeds, nuts or herbs that could be used in potions or to flavour our food. But the truth was that I enjoyed these walks because I was alone.

There amongst the trees, just as the sun was beginning to rise, I was free to be nothing more than myself. I was not the weakest member of the pack. I was not my mother’s son. And I certainly was not the alpha’s soulmate. I was just me, Pip.

At least that’s what I intended, but for the past few mornings my solitude had been disturbed. And it seemed that this morning would be no different. I could barely see through the early morning gloom, but my nose picked up on the scent. Trist, once again, was waiting for me. Holding back a sigh, I walked towards him.

“Good morning,” he said when I was finally close enough to make out the features of his face.

He was smiling that bright, open smile of his that made my heart beat warm and fast. I looked away before he could notice what his smile made me feel through our bond.

“Morning,” I muttered.

“It’s freezing, isn’t it?”

“Mm-hm,” I agreed, bringing my hands up to my mouth to blow warm air over them.

“We should be in our wolf forms,” he said, wrapping his arms tightly around his torso.

“No way! I’m not taking my clothes off in this weather!”

Trist snorted.

“I meant that we should have transformed before meeting here,” he clarified.

“Yeah, we could have done that if we had planned to meet up. Too bad we didn’t plan it.”

“Oh, that’s right. We’ve only been meeting by coincidence. Sorry that I forgot.”

Trist smiled again. I pulled my eyes away.

“That’s ok, but I did have other plans, so…”

I continued walking. Trist was quick to follow.

“How’s River doing?” Trist asked.

Apparently, he was now familiar enough with my mother to call her by her first name.

“She’s fine. Father thinks she’ll be able to walk around next week. So you should be able move into the main hall soon.”

“And kick you out? No, it’s fine. I’m happy at the inn.”

I suddenly stopped walking and grabbed Trist’s arm to stop him too.

“No, it’s not fine,” I said, all stern and serious. “The rest of the pack won’t be ok with it. The main hall is for the alpha.”

“But then, where will all of you live? We can’t build another house in the winter.”

“We’ll just have to make do with the inn. Don’t worry about it.”

“Fine,” Trist grumbled.

A strong gust of wind blew, lifting the edges of Trist’s cloak. I let go of his arm and he pulled slightly away from me so that he could cross it over his chest again.

“It’s too cold. You can go back to the village, if you want,” I suggested.

“No, it’s too dangerous out here.”

“Dangerous? For who?” I scoffed.

“Both of us. If you die, I’ll feel it through our bond. I don’t think that would be very fun, so I want to keep you alive.”

His answer made me scowl. I turned away from him and started walking again. Another morning ruined by Trist’s overbearing presence. I needed to hurry up and find something to bring back to the village, so that I could have an excuse to finish this walk.

“I’ve been doing this for most of my life,” I grumbled. “The only dangerous thing out here is bears and I’m not afraid of them. I’ll just run away. You don’t have to worry.”

“I might have been lying,” he said.

I shot an inquisitive look at him over my shoulder.

“I might just be looking for an excuse to spend more time with you,” he continued.

Confused, I stopped walking again and turned to face him.

“Why would you need an excuse for that?” I asked.

Now it was Trist’s turn to scowl.

“Because you’re always running away from me!” he replied.

“No, that’s not true!” I denied. “It’s got nothing to do with you! I’m just always busy.”

“I want us to be close.” His voice had become quiet and gentle in a way that churned my stomach.

“Why?” I asked bitterly. “Because some stupid werewolf magic says we have to be?”

“Well, no. It’s because—” Trist started to reply.

“Did you smell that?” I suddenly interrupted because another gust of wind had blown an interesting scent in our direction. And because I did not want the conversation to continue.

“No, what?”

I sniffed the air. I could barely smell it without the wind, but it was still there.

“Come on, it’s this way,” I said and began walking deeper into the forest.

Trist followed after me, but I could sense his confusion through our bond. And his disappointment. I decided to ignore his feelings. He always seemed to ignore mine.

The scent got stronger around a fallen, rotten tree covered in a thick blanket of snow. I crouched down to get a closer look. The inside of the trunk had rotted away, creating a perfect shelter from the snow. Growing inside was a cluster of mushrooms, with brown caps and white stems.

“Ah ha! Mushrooms!” I exclaimed.

I reached my hand inside and started to pull them out by their stems. Trist crouched down behind me to watch.

“Are you sure those are safe?” he asked.

“Yep! I recognised their scent. They’re delicious! I’ll put them in tonight’s stew!”

“Well, if you’re sure… but I’ll be angry if they kill me.”

I stood up slowly, being careful not to drop any of my mushrooms. I was very proud of my bounty. Not only were they delicious, they also would save me from this awkward walk.

“We can go back to the village now!” I announced happily.

I moved too quickly in my enthusiasm, causing some of the mushrooms to bounce out of my arms.

“I can carry some of those, if you want,” Trist offered.

“No, I’ll manage.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! I am! Besides, I wanted you to go ahead of me. If we return at the same time, with you holding some of my mushrooms, then everyone will know that we were together.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Trist asked in an accusatory tone.

Confusion and irritation radiated through our bond, mixed in with a flash of pain. Oh, great. I think that I offended him.

“I just don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea,” I tried to explain.

“What wrong idea?” he asked, just as irritated as before.

“That we’re… you know?”

For some reason, I still felt uncomfortable saying it aloud. I wanted to gesture between us with my hand to clarify my meaning, but my hands were too full of mushrooms for me to do so. Thankfully, Trist seem to catch on to my meaning anyway.

“What? Soulmates? I doubt anyone will figure that out just because we went for a walk and I carried your mushrooms.”

“Ok, maybe not,” I replied, irritation growing. “But I still don’t want them to know that we’re friends or anything like that.”

“Why not?”

I heaved a sigh. This conversation was lasting too long and my irritation was getting the best of me.

“You’re not very good at this alpha thing, are you?” I asked.

Through the bond, I felt Trist’s pain explode into anger. The strength of the emotion scared me. I took a step back, dropping some of the mushrooms, but Trist’s face remained impassive.

“I’ll go first,” was all that he said before he started to walk away.

It was not long until he became a shadow in the early morning light. Soon I could not see him at all, but I could still feel the echo of his anger within me.

I picked up the mushrooms that I had dropped, then waited a few more minutes before setting off myself.

I felt guilty. I knew that Trist was trying his best. He had been the alpha for less than a month, and I was supposed to help him. Instead, I insulted him.

I was sure that Trist could feel my guilt through our bond, but it did nothing to abate his anger. In fact, it seemed to be getting worse. My legs felt wobbly and it was hard to force myself to keep walking towards the village. It would probably be best if I avoided Trist for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, that was not possible.

When I returned, I became aware of a commotion in the village square. Trist was there, along with Luca and Twig. Trist stood with his arms crossed, face blank, while Luca grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shook him.

“I’ll kill you!” Luca was shouting, his face distorted with rage.

Shocked and horrified, I dropped all of my mushrooms.