Freddie trudged up the stairs to his apartment complex, his backpack feeling like it weighed a thousand pounds. Between the "Campus Flashing Incident" yesterday and the "Ramen Fire" at Avery's, his cortisol levels were high enough to kill a small horse.

All he wanted to do was go inside, make sure Selena hadn't tried to microwave a fork, and pass out.

But as he turned the corner to his door, his blood ran cold.

Leaning against his doorframe, scrolling through her phone with effortless cool, was Robin.

Robin was only twenty-one, just a few years older than Freddie, but she carried herself with the authority of a chaotic deity. She was wearing a leather jacket, ripped jeans, and an expression that said she knew exactly how much of a loser her little brother was.

"Well, look who finally decided to spawn," Robin said, not looking up from her screen.

"Robin?" Freddie squeaked. He cleared his throat, trying to drop his voice an octave. "I mean, hey. What are you doing here?"

"Mom made me promise to check on you. She had a 'feeling' you were dead in a ditch. Or worse, failing calculus." She pushed off the wall and ruffled Freddie's hair aggressively. "Open up, baby brother. Let's see if you're living in filth."
Freddie blocked the door with his body. "Actually, now isn't a good time. I'm... studying! Very intense studying. Naked studying. It's a mnemonic device."

Robin rolled her eyes. "Move, dweeb."
She effortlessly hip-checked him out of the way, grabbed his keys from his hand, and unlocked the door before Freddie could even protest.

"Robin, wait! seriously-"

"Relax, I'm just gonna check the fridge and lea-"

Robin swung the door open. She froze. Freddie froze behind her.

The apartment was not empty.

Selena was lying on her stomach on the gray sectional couch, her legs kicking playfully in the air. She was flipping through a fashion magazine, looking completely at ease. She was also wearing absolutely nothing but the purple lace bra and black thong she had bought the other day.

Selena looked up, unbothered. "Greetings. You have returned. Who is the new user?"

Robin stood in the doorway, her mouth slightly agape. She looked at Selena's near-naked form, then slowly turned her head to look at Freddie.

"Okay," Robin said, her voice dangerously calm. "Explanation. Now. Why is there a Victoria's Secret model lounging in your living room? And be honest, Freddie-how much are you paying her? Because we both know there is no universe where you pull this off for free."

"I'm not paying her!" Freddie shrieked, rushing inside to stand awkwardly between them. "She's... she's my cousin! From... far away!"

Robin stared at him flatly. "Your cousin."

"Yes."

"Freddie, I am your sister. That would make her my cousin. Do you see anyone in our genetic pool who looks like that?" She gestured wildly at Selena, who was now examining a perfume ad.

"Right. Cousin. Stupid me," Freddie laughed nervously, sweating profusely. "I meant... foreign exchange student! From... uh... the Republic of Gamistan!"
"Gamistan," Robin repeated.

"It's a very small country. Lots of exports."

"Freddie, cut the crap. Who is she?"

"She's a computer program that came to life during the storm!" Freddie blurted out. "She's Sassy_Selena_247!"

Robin stared at him for a long, heavy silence. Then she sighed and rubbed her temples. "Okay, so you're on drugs. Got it. I'll tell Mom it's a 'creative writing phase.'"

She stepped fully into the apartment, marching up to the couch. She looked down at Selena. "Hey. Barbie. I don't know what his deal is, but you can't lay around my baby brother's apartment in your underwear. It's weird."

Selena sat up, tilting her head. "But my cooling systems are optimal in this configuration."

"I don't care about your cooling systems. Put some clothes on."

"I have none," Selena stated. "The previous armor sets were trash."

"We bought clothes!" Freddie argued. "I spent two hundred dollars!"

"Show me," Robin commanded.

Freddie ran to the bedroom and returned with the pile of generic jeans and floral blouses he had picked out at the department store. Robin picked up a floral blouse with two fingers, holding it like it was a dead rat.

"Freddie," Robin said. "This is a crime against humanity. You bought her clothes for a middle-aged librarian named Susan."

"It was expensive!"

"Then it was expensive trash," Robin declared, tossing the shirt into the trash can. She turned to Selena, eyes narrowing in assessment. "Okay. You've got the body of a goddess and the fashion sense of a stripper. We're fixing this. Get your shoes on. We're going shopping."

The next three hours were a blur of neon lights and credit card swipes.

Robin drove them to the trendy district of the city, blasting pop music while Selena tried to harmonize with the car's GPS voice.

The shopping trip was chaos.

At the first store, Selena tried to walk through a glass display case because "the textures looked permeable." At the second store, she asked a mannequin why it was so silent and if it was "lagging."

Through it all, Robin was a general at war. She barked orders, pulled clothes off racks with terrifying speed, and shoved Selena into changing rooms.

"No frills!" Robin shouted, throwing a dress backward over her shoulder which Freddie caught. "She's got an athletic build! We need streetwear! We need edge!"

"I just want to go home and play video games," Freddie whined, holding fourteen shopping bags.

"Silence, pack mule!" Robin snapped.
Finally, after the seventh store, Robin emerged from the dressing room area with a smirk.

"Okay," Robin said, dusting off her hands. "I think we're done. Freddie, prepare yourself."

The curtain pulled back.

Freddie dropped the bags.

Selena stepped out, and for the first time, she didn't look like a glitch. She looked... cool.

She was wearing a cropped black tank top that showed off her midriff, paired with baggy, high-waisted black cargo pants that gave her room to move. Over it, she wore a cropped, vibrant purple leather motorcycle jacket with zippers everywhere. She had gold hoop earrings, chunky sneakers, and was casually blowing a bubble with pink gum.

She threw up a peace sign and winked.
"Mobility stats are at 100%," Selena announced, looking at herself in the mirror. "And the charisma buff is significant."

"See?" Robin slapped Freddie on the back hard enough to make him stumble. "That is how you dress a hot girl, you absolute amateur. She looks like an anime character that would beat you up."

"She is an anime character that would beat me up," Freddie muttered, staring at Selena.

"I love it," Selena said, popping her gum. "It matches my aesthetic."

Robin crossed her arms, looking proud. "You're welcome. Now, let's go get food. Treating the 'exchange student' is on you, baby brother."