"No. Just no... I'm done peopling for the entire week, if I had a choice in the matter."
"We'll make dinner for you~..." Well, Ever did like not having to put effort into getting good food...
"... I'm not leaving my couch to do anything like be active and my focus will be on this new show I'm watching. But I suppose I can leave the door unlocked for you." Not like that would make a difference to the caller, but it made Ever feel like they had some control in allowing or denying access to their home.
"Then we'll see you soon... Any preference for you want to eat?" Ever knew this trap... If they brushed it off and said something ridiculous, that would actually be what was brought to their place to be made.
"I think... something with beef, maybe also bacon."
An hour later, Ever sat on their couch with a large bag of chips, watching TV and ignoring the invasion visitors... just like they said they were going to.
That didn't change even when one said person sat down next to them. Nor at their personal space being invaded by a head laying into their lap a moment after.
Okay, that might not be completely true. They did move their bag of chips as it was happening to avoid it getting crushed and then naturally rested their arm on the head. It was their home so they refused to awkwardly figure out a 'polite' position for their arms just because someone decided to lay down on them. The body attached to said offending head didn't seem to mind anyways.
Ever at least had the decency to not get crumbs on the other person as they watched the show together and waited for dinner.
Ever's eyes started to get heavy when they heard a voice about to speak up from their lap. "H-"
"No." They gave a small yawn. "Knew the deal... Not peopling today and not people don't talk while lying on me."
Which causes the person to sit up and off their lap. "I was just going to ask if you wanted me to grab you some blankets and pillows for more comfort or instead a drink to help you stay awake until proper food is ready..."
From the kitchen came "No soda or those all chemical shit! It'll ruin the taste of my food!"
Ever rolled their eyes. "That leaves me with nothing you'd approve of to drink... There's some energy drinks in the fridge door. New brand I'm trying so maybe it'll pass inspection."
A figure appeared at the kitchen doorframe. "There are plenty of drinks you could have that aren't those chemical filth that masquerade as liquids... Milk, juice, teas, coffee, even booze if it's not the only drink you're having all the time."
Ever ignored him. "If you're getting up anyways, I was thinking about trying the cherry flavor next."
The one they were talking to got up with a cheeky smirk. "Cherry. Got it..."
The cook frowned. "Dinner might have been almost finished but if you're gonna have that abomination, then you can wait until the end of the next episode before eating. No way my masterpiece will be paired with such trash."
Ever shrugged. They didn't mind waiting... His food tended to be even better when he threatened to make them wait longer than planned.
As promised, an episode and a half later, a plate was being put on the small table Ever had gotten second hand only because they 'needed a proper place to eat meals'. The speckled plate had a hearty portion of a creamy pasta with visible chunks of ground beef and chopped bacon bits. Ever suspected there were much less visible veggies also mixed in based on the slight green tint to the sauce.
As soon as they set their energy drink can on the table beside the plate, it was picked up and replaced with a glass of some rich ruby liquid. "You'll like this one, I promise. And it'll go a lot better with the food than some artificial crap."
Ever glared at the cup. He did always make good stuff and at least it wasn't plain water... They sat down and started on the meal without complaint.
Mmm...Bliss. That was the best way to describe the cooking. Though they had expected as much considering who had made it.
Even with the occasional unexplained upset stomach that they'd get eating his cooking, the taste was always worth the risk. Ever melted with every bite, completely forgetting everything outside of the meal.
Many myths say one should not eat food of fae because it is so good that once a human tastes it, they would rather starve than ever eat anything else. If you chose one food that would be so well made that every other type of food you ate tasted horrible in comparison for the rest of your life, what would it be?
The totally boring and tiring life of Ever, the strongest failure one might come across. They like reading, listening to music, watching TV, and anything else that lets them not have to deal with people. They probably should be seeing a therapist; they aren't.
Honestly, they don't know why anyone would want to read a story about them. They probably live the most boring life possible.
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