Sunlight filtered through the leaves of the trees. What was left of them, at least. Many had begun their yearly color change, while others found themselves crushed. They left little room for silence as Lily marched along the riverbank. It carried any leaves caught in its waters with her. 

She took deliberate steps onto particular piles, each elicited a crunch. It slowed her travel, but she wasn’t in a rush to her destination. Not the way her whole body cramped up at the conversation that awaited her.

I should be grateful, she mused during another satisfying step. It’s a miracle he agreed to talk at all. He had all the right to tell me to go drown. Yet Willis had asked to see her. She wasn’t going to question it.

She emerged from the forest to an empty shore once more. No Willis in sight. She reached out, focusing her energy. There was nothing. Which was fine. She could wait. Her fingers found their way to her patchy knuckles. They had taken quite the beating as of late. It was hard not to dig in.

The sun held her in warm embrace, at least. That was one nice thing about meeting now. The ocean view was crystal clear.

“I’M HERE!” was all the warning she got before Willis burst out from the underbrush of the forest. Promptly face planting on the sand. 

She jumped, scrambling back. “Wh- Willis?! Are you alright?” she asked, hopping the border to greet him. 

He didn’t move from his resting place. “Give me a minute,” he mumbled between breaths. He twisted around onto his back. Arms reached up to cover his eyes. He gasped like a fish. Eventually he spoke up again, “I woke up late. So I had to run.”

“Oh- you really didn’t need to do that. I wouldn’t have minded waiting…” she sighed. She crouched down to his level. “I’d rather wait than have you dying on the ground.”

He waved her off. “I’m fine,” he wheezed. A hum stirred in his throat. He sat up abruptly, making her flinch. He let out one last heavy breath before he stood up fully. Brushing off the sand that had found its way into his clothes. 

She tried not to stare too much at the dark circles that lingered under his eyes. She clasped her hands together like her life depended on it, “How are you?” Aside from the obvious…

“I’m fine,” he reiterated. He swung his hand in vague motions. The usual blanket appeared a moment later, laid out. “I'm tired but that's nothing new.” He fell back with a thump once it was down.

“Right,” Lily rubbed her hands together. She shuffled around. Wait- I can sit down. She bit back a groan and the urge to smack herself. Settling next to them instead. Her claws picked at the lunar fabric. “I’m sorry if that was my doing-”

She flinched when Willis grumbled and huffed. A growl rumbled from his chest. “Please don’t apologize for the love of the moon and stars. I’ve heard that more than enough the past few days. I could throw up.”

“Did something happen?” she tried to hide the frown growing on her face with her inquiry. The conversation barely begun and she already irritated him. Lovely.

“Well I talked to Velvet and my father,” he huffed. He threw his hands in the air. “It's been nothing but ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t notice sooner’ and garbage like that. Needless to say I’m sick of hearing it.”

She got ready to apologize before she caught herself. All I want to do is apologize. That was the easy way out, though. She had to offer more than that. She forced a breath, “I want to make things right with you.” Her jaw tensed when his attention turned, yet she continued, “I can’t take back what I said before or how I made you feel. It was awful. I was awful. I’ll do whatever I need to make it up to you.” Even if I’m not sure what that would be.

“You don’t need to make anything up to me. You apologized. It’s fine,” Willis said. He crossed his arms behind his head. “No need to make a big deal out of everything.”

Lily blinked. Her claws grasped at nothing. “There’s still a lot we need to talk about, though. Such as… what happened last time we spoke?” she offered. She frowned when he rolled his eyes.

“I’d rather not.”

“We can’t not talk about it.”

“We can! It would be very easy to, actually,” he retorted. His claws picked at the fluff of his ear, “There are better ways to spend our time. I’m over it.”

“Well I’m not!” she hissed, stopping just short of pulling on her hair. Her pitch rose, “I can’t simply forget everything you said and pretend it didn’t happen. You talked about killing yourself, this is serious-!”

“Wh- I did not say that!?” Willis shot up from where he was laying. He turned to her, arms shaking. “I said I thought about it. There’s a difference.”

“You realize that’s still bad right?” she grasped at nothing. “That’s concerning, people who are okay don’t think about that.”

Her teeth felt ready to crack when he waved a hand at her. “Everyone thinks about it sometimes, it’s not that big of a deal. I’m fine now.”

“I think you have a skewed perspective of what can be considered normal-”

“I’m the one with the skewed perspective of normal?” he cackled at her. The withering glare she gave didn’t stop him from continuing, “I don’t think you get to say that to me after everything.”

She hugged her arms with a huff. “Two things can be true at once. Regardless of that the point is… that I’m worried about you,” she admitted, slouching. “I don’t want you hurting yourself… or worse.”

At that, his face softened, if only a little. His ears drooped as he tilted his head up. “Okay, listen. I have not hurt myself. I do not plan to. I was serious before when I said I like being alive. I was just being dramatic,” he said. He grabbed his sleeve, pulling it up to expose his arm. Moving to the other to do the same. He flipped them to show both sides. The skin was unmarked. “See? Nothing. I’m not taking my clothes off so you’ll have to take my word for anywhere else.” He covered himself.

“I’ve thought about it, but it’s never gone beyond that, okay?” his lips pulled back, fangs peeking out. “I’d like to move on. It’s embarrassing enough that I said half that stuff to begin with.”

Lily’s claws dug into the fabric of her sweater. Should I believe that? Her words tangled themselves in knots. Eyes lingered on his arms. “I- uhm- thank you for telling me. I won’t talk about it more then, but if you ever need to discuss those things I’m here to listen.” Was that the right thing to say? Was it good enough? Why didn’t I think through it more before I brought it up?-

“Great, let’s talk about something else. Like the weather. Isn’t it nice today? The sun is out, not too warm, not too cold,” Willis pivoted like it was nothing. He shook out his hand, straightening his back with a sharp crack. “We better enjoy it while we can. It’ll be snowing before we know it.”

“Actually, there’s more we need to address,” she pushed back. She pitched the bridge of her nose. Pressure built around her head. “Such as the whole ‘I don’t think we should see each other anymore’ thing.”

Willis stiffened. He visibly swallowed, “Oh. right.” His eyes wandered, like he wasn’t sure where to look. “I don’t think we have to.”

“We do, Willis. Because our whole relationship revolves around that,” she hissed. She pet her arm. “Is there seriously nothing you want to talk about? You’re the one who wanted to see me again. If we came out here just so you could tell me you never want to see me again can we get it over with?”

“That’s- that’s not what I said-”

“Would you stop arguing semantics with me?!” she snapped. She leaned closer, claws buried themselves in the blanket. “I get that I messed up but I can’t take you toying with me like this.”

“How do you think I felt?” he asked under his breath. It was just loud enough to make her pause. She must have given him a look, because he sighed, running a hand through his bangs. “You told me that you don’t matter, I don’t matter, none of this does. Yet you… kept coming back. You wanted to keep going like nothing ever happened. Contrary to popular belief I’m not… that good at pretending.”

“You’re also not good at talking things out, apparently,” she pointed out half-heartedly. It got her a scowl she promptly brushed off. “I was lying before. That’s why I kept coming back. If it made you so miserable, why did you keep coming out here?”

“I don’t know. I guess I thought everything would feel okay again,” he mumbled. “...it never did.”

“Does it feel okay now?”

“I feel a bit better after everything you said. I want to believe that… you care. That there’s a point to all this-”

“I do care,” Lily cut him off. She grabbed his hand before she could think better of it. Clasping it tight with both of hers. Even in the sunshine, he was cold. Deep breaths.

“I care a lot, actually. I spent the last few weeks feeling like my life was over because you were upset with me. I wanted it to get better, but the only way that was going to happen was if I apologized,” she rambled. The other didn’t move. Not a single sound. She didn’t dare look him in the eyes. “I’ll apologize a hundred more times if I have to. I’ll do anything to make things right.”

“I- I don’t know what I want anymore. I feel lost about what the future holds. All I know is that I want you in it. I want you in my life. I want to know you, Willis. More than anything else,” her voice died out. When had she started to breathe so hard? Was she gripping him too tight?