For the next few days, I focused on my training, attending any meetings that Kozani held with the Royal Court on the morning before heading to the training hall in the afternoon. Lysander had attempted to apologize for the incident, but I brushed him off at every turn. I was the one who chose to use Sabien’s memories to my advantage and it was Lysander’s job to push me past my limits. Now, I let Lysander cut my staff when I could no longer block him and waited as it was repaired by another soldier who could use natural magic.

With each passing day, I could feel myself growing stronger, more focused, and I was starting to learn new ways to move the staff. Sabien had merely chosen a metal staff to avoid the issue of it being cut, but I was starting to remember more of my Bōjutsu training from when I was younger. I was getting better at moving the staff so at most, Lysander’s sword would just shave at the wood and I was incorporating more stances into our bouts. Azriel and Lucilla often slipped away to watch me train in the afternoons but I would always shoo them away when I noticed. As much as I was starting to enjoy the children, I knew it wouldn’t look good if I kept letting them run away from their studies to spend time with me.

“That’s enough for today,” I lowered my staff as Lysander spoke, nodding through my exhaustion. He had his dreads pulled back and up today, his beads clicking softly as he moved. His eyes held a mixture of pride and satisfaction as he regarded me, and I nodded back with a smile, wiping the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. The training session had been grueling as always, pushing me to the limits of my endurance. But I welcomed the challenge, since it was allowing me to grow stronger.

Lysander offered me a brief nod of approval before turning to leave the training hall. As he disappeared through the doorway, I let out a heavy sigh, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle upon my shoulders like a leaden cloak. I slowly placed the staff back in the weapons rack, closing my eyes as I took a deep breath.

“You look awful,” A voice called out behind me, and I whipped around quickly, my heart threatening to pound out of my chest. Valerian was leaning against the far way, a slight smirk on his face as he watched me. “Be careful Javier, I might start to think you care about me.”

“Why are you here, Valerian?” I did my best to hide my excitement, trying to keep my voice neutral as I made my way over to him. I hadn’t seen Valerian since the mirror shattered and I was slightly worried that he had gotten in trouble for being in the palace at night with permission.

“I came to see how our Crown Prince is fairing under the Great Lysander. I’ll admit, I was a bit worried to hear that his Imperial Majesty decided to have our empire’s greatest fighter train you,” Valerian pushed himself off the wall as I walked closer, crossing my arms as he smiled down at me. “You seemed the type to be better with magic.”

“Guess we won’t know until my revealing ceremony huh?” I answered back smartly, enjoying the twitch that came to Valerian’s lips.

“I guess not,” Valerian and I fell in step together as he walked with me out of the training hall and into the corridor beyond. His presence was a welcome distraction from the weight of my responsibilities, and I found myself relaxing in his company. I was happy that he hadn’t been banned from the palace and I wondered why he hadn’t come to visit me sooner.

“So, are you… really alright?” Valerian asked, his tone laced with genuine curiosity as we walked side by side. I shrugged,

“About as well as I can be, I suppose,” I replied, my gaze drifting to the polished marble floor beneath my feet. “The headaches are infrequent and aren't as painful as they were that first night.”

Valerian’s expression softened, concern evident in his eyes as he reached out to gently touch my arm. I nearly jumped as his fingers brushed my sleeve, my heart jumping into my throat. 

“That’s good to hear,” he murmured, his touch sending a shiver down my spine. I glanced up at him, our eyes meeting for a fleeting moment before I quickly looked away, feeling a flush creep up my cheeks. The hallway was mostly empty, since it was almost time for dinner and I took a deep breath to push my heart back down.

“Valerian,” I began tentatively, my voice barely above a whisper. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Valerian froze, almost as if he was a deer suddenly caught in headlights, unsure if he should run or not. His brow furrowed slightly for a moment, his gaze searching mine. I held his eyes, smiling slightly as I noticed I could see the reflection of my own in them again. Like mirrors of gold.

“What is it?” he asked, his voice quiet, almost hesitant. I reached out, taking Valerian's hands in mine, hoping to offer some reassurance. His hands were warm, fitting perfectly in mine, and I almost wanted to scream. How could we both be men, and yet my hands seemed to be made for his?!

"It's about that night, at the banquet," I began, my words cautious, as if treading on fragile ground. "You said you thought we were alike, but you never got to tell me what you meant by that.”

Valerian's grip tightened slightly on my hands, his gaze dropping to where our fingers intertwined. He seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts, a conflicted expression crossing his features. 

"I... I can't," he murmured, his voice barely audible even in the silent corridor. I leaned in to hear his voice, unable to help my worry. "Not here. Not where anyone could be listening."

I squeezed his hands gently, offering him a reassuring smile despite the nervous flutter in my chest. Rael had said relationships between men weren't frowned upon, so what was Valerian so worried about? Was there something else he meant when he said we were alike? 

"We could go somewhere more private," I suggested, already thinking of the garden. This late in the evening, it was unlikely anyone would be roaming around and with the cold, no one would want to. But before Valerian could respond, a voice interrupted us.

"Javier." 

I couldn't help my frown as I heard that soft voice, one that barely reached my ears. We turned to see Empress Nisha approaching, her regal demeanor softened by a warm smile. I reluctantly released Valerian's hands, straightening up to greet her.

"Your Majesty," I said respectfully, inclining my head. Why did she always appear at the worst time? "How may I be of service?"

"I was hoping for a moment of your company, if you're not too busy," she said, her gaze lingering on Valerian for a moment longer before returning to me. “It'll just take a bit of your time, and we can walk to dinner together.”

The empress’s voice already sounded like it was about to fade away, and I exchanged a quick glance with Valerian. He looked somewhat relieved and frustrated and I gently touched his sleeve, trying to smile warmly. 

“Later?” I mouthed, elated when I saw his eyes light up.

“I'll try,” Valerian mouthed back and with a nod, I turned back to Empress Nisha. 

"Of course, Your Majesty," I replied, falling into step beside her as we walked away, leaving Valerian behind.