I didn’t even bother to try and sleep: I merely laid down long enough for Rael to retire to his own room. The wait in my bed felt agonizing as I waited for Rael to settle in his room, listening through the wall as he got ready for bed. Soon, I heard all the noises stop and after waiting a few more minutes, I slowly got up out of my bed as quietly as I could.

The moon cast a ghostly glow through the window, illuminating the snow-covered courtyard below. I hesitated for a moment, my hand resting on the cold glass as I peered out into the night. And there, amidst the swirling flakes, stood Valerian.

My heart skipped a beat as I took in the sight of him, his figure shrouded in the silver light of the moon. The snowflakes danced around him, creating an ethereal aura that seemed to envelop him in a cloak of mystery. What was he doing out there, in the dead of night, braving the biting cold? I quickly opened the window, motioning Valerian to climb onto the balcony.

“Get in here!” I whispered frantically, unable to help my worry as Valerian chuckled, quickly climbing over the railing and joining me on the balcony. I grabbed his wrist as I pulled him into my room, closing the windows as quietly as I could. Once the cold was banished back beyond the glass, I knelt on the floor, pulling Valerian down with me. Flecks of white still rested in his dark red hair and I shook my head as I brushed the snow away. “What were you doing out there?”

Valerian's eyes sparkled with mischief as he settled beside me, his warmth a welcome contrast to the chill of the night air that had been let into my room. “You told me to meet you.”

“I didn’t say in the snow!” I whispered back angrily, still too worried about Rael hearing to raise my voice. Valerian covered his mouth as if to hide his chuckle and I frowned with my annoyance. “You wander around the palace all the time but suddenly I invite you to visit me and you decide to wait outside?”

“My father isn’t usually here,” Valerian’s tone seemed to shift and I caught the worried look in his eyes before he managed to hide it. What did matter that Sir Idris was also here? “I’m sure you heard about tomorrow?”

“Yeah, about my father and Aldrin joining us,” I sighed, remembering Kozani’s announcement at dinner. I adjusted on the floor, pressing my back to the cold window as I sighed. “What do you think of Aldrin?”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I just get an odd feeling from him, like his magic is always attacking me,” I admitted, shaking my head as I spoke. When Valerian remained silent, I looked up at him to see his surprised expression and then I remembered: I never told Valerian I could sense magic. “Oh, I uh… I can kinda sense the magic of certain people and things.”

“Then the mirror–”

“No! Before the mirror!” I corrected, almost raising my voice above a whisper in my haste. Valerian's brows furrowed in concern, his eyes searching mine as if trying to decipher the hidden depths of my words. 

"Before the mirror? But that would mean..."

I nodded, my gaze steady as I confirmed his unspoken question. I looked down at my hands, flexing my fingers. "Yes, even without my magic I can still feel it. Not everyone though, just… certain people, like Aldrin."

“Can you feel mine?” Something about the way Valerian asked the question made me look up to see his expression and I was confused by his expression. He almost seemed… worried, his usual joking demeanor replaced by a hint of apprehension. It was a side of Valerian I had never seen and I gently raised my hand to touch his face.

This time I didn’t hesitate and Valerian let me, closing his eyes as I gently touched his cheek. Valerian's skin was cool to the touch, a stark contrast to the warmth emanating from his presence. His eyes remained closed, as if he were bracing himself for something, his features softened under my touch. For a moment, the world around us seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us suspended in that intimate space.

“Yes, I can feel yours,” I whispered quietly, not moving my hand as Valerian opened his eyes. I met his golden gaze evenly, despite the desperate pounding in my chest. “I feel… drawn to you.”

“Drawn to me?”

“Yeah…” I let my voice fade, still lost in his soft gaze. I barely heard as Valerian shifted on the floor, raising his hand to gently touch my face as well. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand touch my face, not trying to hide my contentment as I leaned into the touch. Valerian's touch sent a shiver down my spine, a delicate tremor that seemed to echo the fluttering of my heart. His fingertips traced a path along my cheekbone, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. In that moment, the world outside ceased to exist, and all that remained was the sensation of his touch and the quiet intensity of the night.

“You are beautiful, Javier,” Valerian whispered and I opened my eyes with his words, my heart skipping a beat at the sincerity in his voice. His gaze held mine, unwavering and filled with a tenderness that left me breathless. “I’ve never seen a man as beautiful as you.”

“Some people might not consider that a compliment.”

“Do you?” Valerian asked, his voice barely a whisper, yet it resonated with a depth of emotion that seemed to fill the room. I took a deep breath as I moved on the floor, placing both of my hands on Valerian’s face. Did I consider it a compliment?

“What do you think?” I asked, not able to help my gaze as it dropped from his eye to his lips. The subtle enchanting pull now felt more like a torrent, and I just couldn’t understand how my predecessors had resisted and feared Valerian. There was nothing but sincerity and wonder in the golden orbs I was staring into, and yet… there was an ocean of sadness that seemed to hide just beneath the surface.

"I think..." Valerian's voice trailed off, his words hanging in the air like delicate threads of possibility. He leaned closer, his lips hovering mere inches from mine, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. 

I wanted Valerian to kiss me. Every part of me wanted to feel Valerian’s magic caress me more, pull me in more, until I was drowning in him. I was expected to save the world, surely it was okay if I had one man, right? But I could almost feel Valerian’s hesitation, his fear and I slowly pulled away, sitting back on the floor even as I kept my hands on his face. 

Valerian seemed confused, and then he slowly slid his hands from my face, looking flustered and embarrassed. 

“I’m– I’m sorry, Javier, I shouldn’t have–”

"No, Valerian, don't apologize," I interrupted softly, my voice barely above a whisper. I reached out, my hand gently touching his arm, a silent reassurance. "It's not what you think."

“I just… I need to tell you…” Valerian’s whispers suddenly sounded so desperate and the fear I had only caught hints of was on full display in his expression. What was Valerian so afraid to tell me?

“If you’re going to tell me you’re attracted to me, I think I’ve figured that out by now,” I tried to keep my voice light, not wanting to downplay his worry. Valerian managed to scoff, although a bit of his smirk crept back on his face.

“Here I thought I was being subtle,” he managed and I laughed, relieved to see he had calmed down a bit. “But that’s not–”

“Your Highness?” My heart thundered in my ears as I heard Rael’s voice, soft yet urgent, coming from the other side of my bedroom door. Valerian and I froze, our eyes locking in silent panic. Rael knocked again, this time with more insistence.

“Is everything alright in there?” His voice held a note of concern that sent a chill down my spine.

I scrambled to my feet, my mind racing for an excuse. “Yes, Rael, everything’s fine. Just... had a nightmare. Couldn’t sleep.”

Valerian mirrored my movement, his eyes wide with alarm as he mouthed, “I should go.”

I nodded, my heart sinking at the abrupt end to our moment. “Quickly, before Rael gets suspicious.”

I quietly opened the window again and Valerian slipped out of my room back into the snow, leaving me alone with a whirlwind of emotions. I crossed the room to open the door, plastering a reassuring smile on my face as I faced Rael, who stood there with furrowed brows and a hint of worry in his eyes.

“Are you sure everything’s alright, Your Highness?”

“Yes, Rael. I’m simply nervous about traveling tomorrow. I’ll be fine,” I reassured him, hoping my voice didn’t betray the turmoil within me.

Rael studied me for a moment longer, his gaze searching, before nodding. “Very well, Your Highness. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call for me.”

“I won’t, thank you, Rael,” I replied, watching him retreat down the corridor before closing the door behind him.

Alone once more, I sank onto the edge of my bed, the events of the evening swirling in my mind. Valerian’s confession, his hesitation, and the unspoken fear that lingered between us weighed heavily on my heart. But amidst the uncertainty, one thing remained clear.

I couldn’t ignore the pull I felt towards him, not anymore.

As I lay back on my bed, staring up at the moonlit ceiling, I drifted into a fitful sleep, dreading the dawn and the decisions it would bring.